To ask you how long you waited before visitors

I think it's very sad when the new grandparents are expected to wait to meet their new grandchild. I can't imagine doing that to my parents or parents-in-law. They all met my children the day they were born.

I think it’s definitely a generational thing. Younger generation tend to be more insistent on setting boundaries in this way than when I gave birth 35 years ago. Recently, daughter & her DH announced that once in hospital, they would not be releasing any updates on labour progress, the birth etc until a time of their choosing. So we were told about baby’s arrival about 3-4 hours after it actually happened. We did see baby next day though. I understand why op’s DIL might like some space but it’d be polite to give an indication of the timeline on which they’ll likely welcome visitors. I empathise with op but I’d say not to take it personally. Things are just different now 🤷‍♀️ Congrats on your new grandchild 💐

Close family and friends came straight away when I had mine. Then again we weren't tge precious flowers they seem to be today.

A fair few seem to like using the whole 'baby bubble' as a excuse not to see the in-laws if they don't like them on MN ,I especially eyeroll when they say their mum only popped round for 10mins with a casserole 🤣🤣

I know OP isn’t coming back to this thread but her last post just goes to show the person she is. Can’t even phantom why a new mum might need a few days to recover from birth before saying things like this. Saying things like new mums should “suck it up” or being so bitter about someone refusing to do something they’re not ready for. We’re literally talking about new mums who have been through labour or c sections…. That might need a week to get back on their feet. OP’s response is so bitter and cruel, you can just imagine the sort of MIL she is, hence the post in the first place not even giving DIL 24 hours before making a post about wanting to visit

The main point is the majority of decent grandparents don’t mind helping (if they can and its practical to) with abit of childcare. Most fully appreciate how hard it for this generation of parents just to get the basics paid for these days.

I didn’t realise offering to help with abit of babysitting was decided over what day you first held the newborn. Honestly how ridiculous for the OP even to raise that.

Wow, I can't imagine being so bitter about my son and DIL wanting a bit of time to adjust to being new parents, or my Dil needing to recover a bit more before she felt comfortable with having visitors.

I would be more than happy to wait, as a future mil. I won't forget how hard being a first time mum is. Or an anytime mum even!

I’ve been today and it was worth the wait. To those of you that congratulated me and gave me sensible advice - thank you. To those of you that refuse to ever do something that you aren’t ready for / don’t particularly want to do and state with conviction that you won’t ’suck it up’ for anyone. Please remember that the rule then applies to everyone, chances are your retired parents don’t want to get up early and drive to your house at their own expense (because their toys are there) so they can take care of your children while you work and save you money while you complain about every aspect of the free childcare they provide you with. They’re sucking it up because they love you and want to help you. They most likely don’t want to look after your dog while you go away for the weekend, they’re actually sucking it up and doing it even though they don’t want to. All those lovely Christmas’ you had with both sets of Grandparents around your table for lunch, guess what? Your paternal Grandma was likely digging your Mum out all day but she was putting on a brave face and sucking it up because doing things that you don’t want to in order to make other people happy now and again isn’t the end of the world.

In the end I think 3 days was a perfectly acceptable amount of time for me to wait to meet my Granddaughter. But this thread has made me realise that me, my Mum and all the generations of women that came before us may well have been martyrs and we probably should have protected our peace a little more but we do / did it for our children. Only for some of you to be unwilling to ever make yourselves even slightly uncomfortable to ensure we are also taken into consideration. You never know if this movement catches on with us oldies you might find yourselves looking after your own children, your own pets, we might save our money that we’ve been generous with until now, we might not have a spare bedroom for you to move back into when your husband leaves you for his secretary because we aren’t sucking it up anymore. Of course you’ll all say that you don’t do any of that and of course I won’t believe you. I won’t be returning to the thread.

The information about Boomer parents here is socially & financially incorrect.

I was on such a high after having dd, I wanted to share her with family straight away! I had my in-laws in to see her within the hour and my parents followed an hour later.
I thought I wouldn't want this when I was pregnant but then couldn't help myself! I'm the very opposite of a control freak though and am always into a bit of spontaneity. I recognise others can be quite different.

I’ve been today and it was worth the wait. To those of you that congratulated me and gave me sensible advice - thank you. To those of you that refuse to ever do something that you aren’t ready for / don’t particularly want to do and state with conviction that you won’t ’suck it up’ for anyone. Please remember that the rule then applies to everyone, chances are your retired parents don’t want to get up early and drive to your house at their own expense (because their toys are there) so they can take care of your children while you work and save you money while you complain about every aspect of the free childcare they provide you with. They’re sucking it up because they love you and want to help you. They most likely don’t want to look after your dog while you go away for the weekend, they’re actually sucking it up and doing it even though they don’t want to. All those lovely Christmas’ you had with both sets of Grandparents around your table for lunch, guess what? Your paternal Grandma was likely digging your Mum out all day but she was putting on a brave face and sucking it up because doing things that you don’t want to in order to make other people happy now and again isn’t the end of the world.

In the end I think 3 days was a perfectly acceptable amount of time for me to wait to meet my Granddaughter. But this thread has made me realise that me, my Mum and all the generations of women that came before us may well have been martyrs and we probably should have protected our peace a little more but we do / did it for our children. Only for some of you to be unwilling to ever make yourselves even slightly uncomfortable to ensure we are also taken into consideration. You never know if this movement catches on with us oldies you might find yourselves looking after your own children, your own pets, we might save our money that we’ve been generous with until now, we might not have a spare bedroom for you to move back into when your husband leaves you for his secretary because we aren’t sucking it up anymore. Of course you’ll all say that you don’t do any of that and of course I won’t believe you. I won’t be returning to the thread.