To ask you how long you waited before visitors

Pretty much immediately for both babies.

I have a 3yo and 7week old. Long difficult birth first time and planned c section second. I was happy for visitors straight away as long as they weren’t poorly and washed their hands before holding baby.
Although I did then have a few days a week in when the post baby emotions hit me and I cancelled a couple visitors as I just burst out crying with every little thing! Then I was good for visitors again.

I know you want to see your grandchild but you also want your DIL to feel comfortable with having visitors. She may have had a difficult birth and even if not there may be feelings around that as well as physical symptoms to manage. Alongside establishing a bond and routine with the baby. Try not to see it as a slight if you don't get invited straight away as the priority is her and the baby's wellbeing.

When ds was born, I didn't want anyone near him except his dad and me. I went into mega-protective mode and got distressed and aggressive if anyone tried to intrude. Even the health visitor was sent packing, but she took it in her stride. My hormones were in overdrive, but I felt I wanted to rip the arms of anyone getting too close. I couldn't help it.

It wore off at about 8 weeks, and everything was normal after that.

DH's family visited within a couple of days and my mum was waiting at home after first birth and looking after older child for second. It is a little different with DILs I think as they will naturally feel a little more comfortable at a vulnerable and physically taxing/ intimate time with family members on their side of the family.

My mother and brother were at DD1s birth so immediately. DD2 the evening she was born and DS my partners sumuster came ( bringing me food yay) when he was 6 hours old

I suppose to sum it up for me, people who were coming to see & be a help to us and who wouldn’t care that I was in my PJ’s, usually with at least one boob out and at least one stain (my parents etc) were welcome whenever. People who we knew were coming just to hold a newborn, take a photo and be “hosted” waited until we felt ready for that.

DC1 - my parents came to the hospital v briefly. PIL were invited to do so as well, but live further away so opted to wait until we were home. Unfortunately we ended up spending 3 nights in hopsital then were home 1 night before being readmitted, all of which meant DC was over a week old by the time PIL met them and MIL was tearing her hair out.

DC2 was born in the first pandemic lockdown so it was a few weeks for each set of GPs as we worked out how to make it happen as they aren't local.

I think parents not always being local is a big part of the shift in new parents wanting to wait. It means the GPs can't just pop round for half an hour, if there's a distance to travel they are more likely to want a longer visit or even to stay over.

My daughter is nearly 2 and with her my dad, sister & BIL came to the hospital literally the same day she was born, my mum was there with my husband when she was born so was there throughout. My mum and dad then came pretty much every day for a week😂 I really just felt like I needed my mum during that time, she made me and my husband feel much calmer! For other visitors we waited about a week so we felt more settled, so my grandparents & PIL came a week ish later when we felt more able to “host”. Husband never has had a great relationship with his parents hence why they were in the later group, if we’d been closer to them they would have been welcome sooner.

My son is 9 weeks old and we basically did the same again although PIL have still not come to see him and the relationship deteriorated while I was pregnant so they now no longer are in touch at all so not the same scenario but friends etc we said after a week.

My parents and in-laws were at the hospital the day she was born. She was born 1am though so I’d had a bit of time before they arrived afternoon and early evening. I ended up being in hospital 6 days and siblings visited after a day or 2.

With my second my sister and parents came later that day too and brought DD to meet her new baby sister.

I actually preferred having visitors in hospital rather than felt like I was having to host people at home.

My fil came into the delivery room v shortly afterwards for my first, back in the early 90's. Not sure it would be allowed now. DC and fil had a v close bond i think as a result

I see this bubble thing all the time on MN but not anything I've ever experienced irl

This is MN standard @Starlightsprite. The baby bubble kept exclusive and relatives held off for a quite a while after the birth.

I had them straight away. Didn’t bother me one bit

My mum came-at my insistence- about 6 hours after mine were born. My in laws had further to travel but were there the same day. I loved showing my babies off and couldn’t wait to introduce them to their families. However, I had easy labours and was very well.

Mid '70s, RN Hospital abroad, a couple of couples dropped in the next day for a short time, the following day at one point there were 10 people, visitors, in my 'cabin', lots of presents given, and champagne flowing freely! One the the staff chucked them out after about an hour. We brought her to the UK about 5 weeks later, apparently my father was given an ear-bashing by my mother because he wasn't wearing a tie! Went over to MIL a couple of days later.

About 5 days for my mum and 5 months for my in-laws. But they do live a 10 hour flight away.

With our first, everyone came to hospital as I was in for 2 nights.

With our second, I was discharged a few hours after birth and when we got home, about 10 people were already here waiting! Both times, we had visitors every single day for about 2 weeks.

It was lovely. I’m not one of those MN weirdos who imposes a visiting ban or delay.

Both sets of parents and sibling were there at the hospital straight away! They were so excited and I would never have taken that joy away from them.
More family and friends just then arranged and came to visit over the next few days/weeks.

I find this whole "bubble" thing cringey and don't know anyone in RL who behaved like that. I think if you've had serious birth injuries/not medically up to it that's obviously understandable but dad can let baby meet family while you rest and is presumably capable of bringing them back to you when needed (within the same house).

My best friend came to the hospital the day she was born, DD was six hours old. My parents, a few days later. Maybe day 3 or 4? His family day 6 or 7. There was no angst, it just happened when it happened. They were all relaxed about it which made it easy for us.

My parents visited when DS was five days old. I’d have been happy to see them from about day 3, but they didn’t live locally at the time.

PIL came when DS was a few weeks old. I wasn’t in a rush to see them, tbh, but obviously DH was keen for them to meet DS. (They lived five hours away so came for a few days and stayed locally - I might have been happier to see them sooner if they were able just to pop in.)

About 3.5 weeks.

Parents, siblings (mine and DH’s) and friends all visited within hours. I had difficult labours and loved having the support and seeing everyone get all excited and loving over my babies. I hope they let you see baby soon @Starlightsprite.

You are the PIL in this case and I know you're not pushy about it but she obviously wants her own family first. When I had mine I didn't want to see in laws I wanted my family to meet my kids first. I got on fine with them, I just wanted my family first. That said, I didn't stop them visiting, can't remember if hospital or home, as I know it's a special time for them as well. I dont think leaving grandparents aside, unless there's issues, is very nice.