To ask you how long you waited before visitors

My best friend and my in-laws came to hospital. My mum and dad came to say for a week the day we got home, my brother and BIL and SIL all came the week he was born..We we're out for dinner 3 times in the first week.

I think it’s quite a personal thing so what other people did might not be that helpful.

Even a birth that looks relatively “straightforward” from the outside (ie no complications) can hit you like a bus. I felt worse after DD2’s uncomplicated birth than I did after my major PPH with DD1.

There’s also probably a midwife visit today, possibly at an unknown time - I was never given a time. So your DIL may not want you to have just arrived and then have a midwife come, and then sort of send you away so she can ask about her nipples and her stitches or whatever personal stuff she might need to ask about.

We told all family and friends to give us 2 weeks. Then we slowly started allowing visitors. I felt so emotional and overwhelmed after birthing both my children. I just wasn’t up to multiple people asking ‘so how was the birth?’ So soon after when I was just processing it myself. I was also very prone to random emotional outbursts so didn’t want to do that in front of people. But after the Initial
hormones settled we were happy for visitors.

Same day for my mum and sister, next day for MIL and her partner. I could have waited a bit longer for people to see her but when it came down to it I didn’t mind and I couldn’t have slept even if I’d wanted to. I was completely wired and didn’t sleep for about 30 hours.

Baby’s Siblings and grandparents in the hospital. Aunts and Uncles all called over a few days. I was keen to show off my baby and had straightforward births.
When people called I held the baby and they made the tea. I bought a few boxes of biscuits before and they could help themselves.

I have a crackers neighbour who called with a half eaten pack of biscuits and an orange. She didn’t make it past the door!

I would find it difficult to wait but you have to do what’s asked.

I wanted to see my mum and my mil ASAP. They were the two most important women in my life. They both came the same evening (about 7 hours after DD was born). I simply couldn't wait.

I had a home birth and close friends and family came round on day one. Then we had some more visitors over a couple of days, and then I said "Enough!!" as I just wanted to shut the door on the world and be in our "bubble".

But definitely my DM on day one.

My children are 4 and 2, I stopped by my in laws on the way home from hospital with #1, and then my family came over once we were home. With #2 my in laws were there when we got back with my eldest, and then my family came over the next day.

I mean I had 2 relatively straightforward births but I was so excited to show them off too family! No way I could’ve waited 😅

That said, they did all ask before coming over, and whilst of course they had a snuggle, they also brought food and snacks, washed the stuff from my hospital bag, made sure the house was clean and the dogs were walked etc, so there was no resentment or expectation that we “hosted” them which I sometimes see on here.

Mum and dad came the first visit(after dad and siblings), pil the next, sil and bil the next day, then friends(this was in the days of 10 day stays after a section.) Dd there was just mum left so she came with dh and her brothers. I was so proud and happy I wanted to show them off to the world! Even after a long labour and section. My dad almost burst with joy!
My nephew (6) everyone was welcome as soon as they wanted.

My in laws came to the hospital,

I was furious as I’d had twins and both were in neonatal intensive care, and I was very ill myself.

my dh had to stop helping me and spent a couple of hours taking them to NICU to see the twins and then chatting with them at a coffee shop.

cannot imagine how they thought it was appropriate when we were all so ill.

My parents came to the hospital (300 miles from where they live) before I was even in recovery!! That was too much and felt quite an invasion.

For the second, my mum was having a huge operation the day after I had the baby so we went down (300 miles) to introduce the baby when he was a week or 2 old 🙃

DC3 - my parents were looking after my others and so they met her when we came home the next day, they did make themselves scarce though thank god, as did i.

I’d be surprised if a grandparent had to wait more than a few days assuming everyone healthy.

1983 baby born at home Friday afternoon, friend popped in on Saturday afternoon, two work colleagues visited after work on Monday.

1989 baby born in hospital Sunday evening, grandparents visited Monday afternoon, we went to them on Tuesday afternoon on our way home, back on the school run with baby on Thursday morning.

DD - my mum came the day after we got home, in laws came the day after that.

DS - my mum was at ours looking after DD (she stayed until I came home so that DH wasn't juggling coming to the hospital and looking after DD) so saw DS as soon as I got home, in laws came the day after.

I was only in a couple of days with each so no need for a hospital visit either time and I would have hated it if anyone tried!

I think about 3 or 4 days but I was in hospital for one of those

My baby is 9 weeks now. We waited 4/5 days for family to visit at home.

I gave birth and was home the same day with both DC. DC1 I didn’t get home until 11pm so had immediate family the next day. DS home about 3pm immediate family same day. Oh and my mum and sister came to the hospital with both. Each to their own but I think parents/siblings should be allowed immediately

Whenever people wanted to. I had no particular rules or expectations and no desire for this "bubble" business.

DC2 was born at Christmas and we had PIL and SIL staying anyway. It was lovely.

I didn't have a waiting time. My mother came to the hospital the day DS was born (which I wasn't happy about tbh, because I really wasn't up to it after an emergency c-section and another emergency following that, but she just wanted to make sure I was alright and she was happy to hold the baby). When we got home, other people dropped by as and when they had time. I don't understand the sometimes fraught scenarios on here where people are determined that no one will see or touch their child for a set period of time.

Our eldest was born on an evening and grandparents came to visit the following afternoon at hospital (all lived over 80miles).
They were so excited and happy. Great memories.

Totally unacceptable for MNet, was that the 1st visitor was in the morning and not even family. But a colleague. They'd messaged to see if I was doing ok (unaware I'd been in labour). I sent them the pic of baby. They lived across the road from the hospital and asked if they could pop over. It was brilliant. We had such a lovely time together.

I'd had a decent birth experience and was probably giddy with joy. I was totally annoyingly "look at my amazing baby". I was walking to the village shops 2 days later showing anyone interested. I did have my PJ' top on though, under my coat.
I did calm down.

I had my family, ex partner’s family and my best friend visit me at the hospital the very day they were born at the hospital, both times in the 2000s. They were passed around and everyone got a hold and a photo. I feel sad for modern day grandparents, it’s so special seeing a newborn member of the family.

You sound lovely :)

Do people just want a week to themselves in their little bubble? Or is it until you’ve had a good nights sleep? Or until yuh feel more comfortable? I just am wondering how people are doing it these days as I’m dying to meet my grandchild obviously.

I think that really depends on the individuals. Some people will want to cocoon, some others just need a little time to recuperate and some people won’t mind immediate family visiting right after the birth… Nobody on mumsnet will be able to tell you what camp your DS and DIL fall into. I suppose you’ll just have to wait and see (and adapt).

Both sets of parents and our siblings were more than welcome to come to the hospital whenever they wanted and then we were happy with a free for all with anyone who wanted to come as soon as we got home!

I had my twins by CS and was kept in for 3 nights, both sets of grandparents visited that day in hospital and quite a few friends came over the following day or so whilst I was there.

When we all got home we allowed grandparents whenever they wanted but DH did ask our friends not to pop round as I was exhausted and I'd had enough of people by then.

This was 25 years ago though and it all seems very different now ... I'd hate to wait a month to see my own GCs 🙁

With our first, 10 days. MIL and dh’s grandad came for lunch. We probably had a few friends for cake around the 3 week mark. My mum came at 6 weeks (lives abroad so was pre-booked but dd was born at 37 weeks). With 2nd I’m not even sure, but definitely not before 2 weeks. No one really lives close enough to just pop in.

Every parent is different, I would expect as a grandparent to see your new grandchild within a week (birth all gone well, new parents home and having time to adjust etc)

My son was in nicu but we had grandparents visit when he was about 5 days old I’d say, they were only allowed to hold him for 5 mins. I then had my mum stay over when we were allowed home.

My advice is do not be pushy and understand they might want a few days to adjust, just because you have a straight forward birth and go home same day doesn’t mean mum wants everyone over the next day. She might need time

congrats