I know I am being wildly unreasonable about DD’s New York trip but I need people to tell me I am

Haha at the ‘if he chose Liverpool’. Liverpool is totally fine too. The UK is pretty safe, we’re quite lucky people. Liverpool is also a great uni, as is Manchester so either are good options.

@CurlewKate - this is not like you!
YABU!
It is NYC . That's not like the USA as a whole or the worst bits.
She will have the protection of her employers. With full paperwork, credentials, insurance and legal back up.
She won't be on any demos, presumably, nor pull comedy stunts at immigration, nor suddenly fill her SM with anti-Trump memes.

Take a deep breath, resume your normal common sense outlook and have a think about what you would like her to bring back for you.

NYC is totally fine. It’s easily the most liberal state. No ICE agents.

True.

You’re being completely over the top. She’s going to New York, not North Korea. Don’t worry about it though, it’s easy to be irrational when it comes to your kids (even the adult ones!).

Why are you feeling so grumpy about it? Not noticing any hormonal changes are you...?

As an aside:

And why do women on here blame everything on "perimenopause", something that doesn't exist- you're either in meno or you're not.

Wrong. Perimonopause is the phase of hormonal changes leading up to the last day you have a period. Which is your actual menopause.

Menopause is diagnosed retrospectively, so when you've had 12 months without a period, menopause is diagnosed to have happened 12 months before. But it's literally the day/month you don't get a period again.

Menopause is not a phase. Perimenopause is.

It is just like going to London. Massive territory with all things going on. Most people go home at the end of day, and sleep safe

Manchester is so middle class now it would eat itself if it could- what the bloody hell are you worried about? If he chose Liverpool THEN you'd have a valid reason to worry! And why do women on here blame everything on "perimenopause", something that doesn't exist- you're either in meno or you're not.⁹

She'll be fine. Just tell her not to go and protest in Minneapolis.

It's also not regularly happening to US citizens. Most cases where Citizens have been detained it's because they are involved with a illegal immigrant who is the subject of ICE arrest. It's usually because they refuse to identify themselves and are generally uncooperative.

@Fuggleup

do you read the news?

Other stuff in the news:

2025 saw NYC’s lowest murder tally in recorded history.

NYC one of the US’s safest cities for tourists.

Subway crime lowest since 2010, etc.

I know NYC and it has plenty of problems, but picking the most eye-catching bits from the US national news probably gives you a worse sense of the risk than reading nothing at all.

There's been limited ICE activity but right now they're busy in Minnesota.

She'll be fine but it is pretty cold.

I mean, come on! None of that is happening to tourists there legally.

I won’t go for political reasons, no way to I want to appear in the tourism figures as it’s an endorsement of that idiot in charge but I’d feel completely safe in New York particularly because of the lovely new mayor

I was in Manhattan just before Christmas. Felt completely safe, and had a fantastic time. Just tell her to look out for the delivery cyclists!

You are being a bitch! There. Happy now? Can I go back to my Frittata?

Let me know if you need something stronger.

Exactly.

I'm white but I wouldn't have wanted to holiday in apartheid South Africa as I wouldn't want to support that sort of regime. Same as I'd have no interest in holidaying in Saudi Arabia.

Whilst OP's daughter will almost certainly be fine (or if anything bad does happen it'll be getting pickpocketed etc which could happen literally anywhere in the world) other people's daughters won't be.

It amazes me that mumsnet is so anti-Dubai (and rightly so) but the US gets a pass/dismissed as doomscrolling and hysteria.

For those who want to ignore it - there are a lot of links between the people driving the current administration in the US and reform - who are on track to do well at the next election. Nigel Farage has already started talking about abortion. It'll affect us sooner or later.

The fact that people ask "is she white?" tells you everything about what's going on there now. Not a place I'd want to give money to.

I understand your concerns. It's much more likely she'll be fine than not though.

Do you actually think these things are done by human? That agents are looking at people’s social media ...

No of course not, @Fuggleup
They'll certainly dig deeper in person if anything flags up, but not for the vast majority, and it's worth remembering that some of the sob stories claiming "I wasn't doing anything!!" aren't necessarily accurate

OP’s DD is white, by the way.

I agree with this.

I also think your DD will be very safe, as she’s an adult woman in NYC on a work trip and presumably she will behave professionally whilst she is there. If that’s the case, you have nothing to worry about.

I also think the main point of your thread is:

a) to show people you’re a wealthy and loving parent (you buy your adult DD cashmere socks as a casual treat) and

b) to show - in a coded way - that you’re a ‘good’ person because you’re against Trump because you won’t travel to the USA and you’re worried about your DD travelling there.

No it is absolutely clear what she did. She had worked illegally in the US by "helping with household chores in return for accommodation". She might think that doesn't count as work, but the Canadians did, refused her entry, then the US wouldn't let her back into the US as they suspected she'd do the same again.

Classic case of fuck around and find out. This is not the case of a poor wee innocent tourist being detained for no reason whatsoever.

I am going to one of the most conservative states in about 6 weeks, I am on a business ESTA, I know exactly what the situation is (I am not being paid, I am receiving an honorarium) as it is my responsibility to know that.

All the posters making out you are exaggerating or stupid are either ignorant or smug white brits.

I’m nervous too OP, my children are of mixed ethnicity and the immigration tension in the US is real.