AIBU DH cooked but not for me

Your husband is so selfish. You are not being unreasonable

I think that’s piss poor of him, what did he think you were going to eat?

I can’t really imagine this happening as my partner and I do a weekly shop and plan our meals and, well, discuss things!

He does the weekly shop on a Monday night and before he goes we write a list together and have a conversation like this:
” Right, shall we do meatballs on Tuesday?”
” Yeah and don’t forget I’m out for tea with the girls on Wednesday so get something easy just for yourself for Wednesday night.”
” Great and then your mum is coming Thursday, shall we do cottage pie?”
” Yeah brill, then fajitas Friday and maybe some pizzas for Saturday?”
” Great and then shall we go out for a roast on Sunday?”

He excluded you for a reason. Is it because he doesn't think about you, consider you, care about you? IDK, it really doesn't take any more effort to make an extra plate for someone. It's no harder to cook for 4 than it is to cook for 3.

Does he always forget you like this or was it a sudden occurrence?

my DH sees us as a pair so whatever he has, I will have too unless I explicitly state that I don’t want dinner, tea, half of his Kitkat.

if he has always been oblivious to you, LTB.

That’s not much of a partnership. He could at least have texted and asked if you wanted something putting on for when you got home. If he’s making three lunches/dinners, one more is easy. I’d definitely be questioning this moving forwards.

I do think he sounds a bit rubbish possibly just gotten used to eating beige shite with the kids though. If he did chicken he could easily of done you some and plated up a chicken salad so you could have a quick dinner when you got back.

Why shouldn't he do the majority of running round after the kids? Most mothers end up doing this. Plus they're his kids.

Just sitting here imagining us woman cooking up a hearty dinner for ourselves and the kids and then saying to hubby “oh sorry we had ours an hour ago” didn’t realise you’d be hungry after working all day

He is either lacking common sense, or he's deliberately showing you that he cares more about his kids, IMO. If you're cooking for a household, why on earth would you not cook enough for everybody? If it turned out that they didn't want it, someone else could have it for lunch the next day or if you go in the freezer.

Also, not the point, but 13 and 15 is a bit old to be stuck on babyish beige food.

By what you write i assume he made beige food which you don't want. Hence why he didnt make you any.

Yup. This. 😊

I’m quite petty so if there’s a day he and the kids get home later I’d cook for me and look blank when he got , and say oh I ate, I wasn’t sure when you’d be back. 5 stars if he says ‘you knew we’d need dinner!’ You: what? No I didn’t. I used to, but you made it clear last week we can never expect the others in the house to need dinner. I think what you mean is I should think of you but you don’t have to think of me. It was quite freeing cooking for myself, let me know if we should stick with this or go back to being considerate and catering for everyone who lives here.

Just leave him to cook for him and his kids in the future then and you just sort yourself out. I dont think he realises he is getting the much better end of the deal so if he wants to change it, let him. Idiot

Why didn’t he just make you all a meal, plate yours up and stick it in the microwave? Really weird behaviour.

Snide . And not true .

????? Totally unfounded and incorrect as op states this is not the case

Wow what a mean little assumption to make.

Why not be blunt with him? Either we cook for both of us, when we cook, or I'm not cooking for you anymore.

He could easily have plated up for you and put it to one side, whether he thought you were back at 8 or midnight! Why he omitted you in his thinking would have me examining other traits about him.

I only just read the rigid reference to dinner being an hour prior to when you arrived home so I change my mind, that's mean and is not a great example. My kids aren't little but when they are I think it's a good example to think about your Mum (or Dad) and making sure you cared enough as a family about her to make another meal.

My husband earns way more than me and this is not a factor.

What was their dinner?

I mean, my DH is the opposite, he wants to cook for you, even if you don't want him to, he'll worry about me not eating dinner, a million questions about what I have had then, if I don't want some food so sometimes being left alone would be good but I suppose objectively this isn't good at all as he should at least check with you after such a long shift! DH does love cooking when he is here though so probably why he is enthusiastic as opposed to not being here every day where it is more of a chore like your husband may feel..

That’s such an actively shitty thing to do. It’s not like he ‘just’ forgot something or wasn’t making for himself so wasn’t bothered about you, he was literally cooking dinner and decided not to do enough for you too. Wanker. I can’t imagine doing that to my husband, for the sake of an extra portion for him to have when he gets home from work! So what if he thought you’d not be home til 8? Surely he’s not so stupid as to think an extra half an hour would mean you just, what, wouldn’t eat?

“Dinner was an hour ago” is bizarre logic.

Is his thinking often so rigid?