DS 20 not coping with work - get him to claim UC?

Also rude, and ignorant. People who are not able to work due to the severe nature of their disability, are not worthless, as that poster seems to be implying.

Pp meant to persevere with meds not work?

Agree an apprenticeship in his favourite subject.Animal care, hairdressing gardening carpentry with workplace accomadations

Have you tried the Access to Work route? It could pay for taxis to get him to and from the office, and/or a Personal Assistant to help him organise himself - this would ease the strain on you...

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

Can you help him find a job that might be more therapeutic than about earning money? Maybe something like working with animals or with plants might suit him? In a situation where he doesn't have to have interactions with people? Perhaps look for a voluntary job like this in a low stress environment which might help ease him into paid employment?

I'd say he just hasn't found the right job yet.

If you pull him out, I think you need to do it with a plan for what’s next.

Take 2 months out (or whatever is appropriate) but then what is he (you) going to do that’s different to move on. At 20 it would be a shame if he retreated to his room for the foreseeable.

Maybe that is back to college, or a training scheme, or volunteer work, or mowing lawns around the area., or….

But think you need a long term plan before you take the break, or the break could become permanent.

How about fluoxetine, it is often prescribed for people with existing conditions such as crohns as it is less likely to cause gastric upset (but not guaranteed ) or escitalopram is helpful for anxiety symptoms.
Locally to me the Kings Trust is currently asking for referrals for young people 16-30 , especially those with a disability who are looking to get into the work place and seem to provide some support.
Good luck, I have a 24 year old with ADHD who has needed a lot of support as well.

I have your son's issues and diagnosis.I never had any support and only found out at 58.
What helped me was finding something I love so I've managed 42 years mostly full time doing my special interest then home to bed.
Can he do part time and take the pressure off or contact access to work as they have support and transport to help disabled people stay in work.
I feel for you as you sound supportive and lovely.

My goodness, what a cruel thing to ask

I think instead of going straight to sitting at home on UC which doesn't seem healthy for a 20 year old, I'd be looking at support schemes to help him find suitable employment that fits who he is.

He's an adult and assume he won't live with you forever, he's going to need to find a way to function in society.

My friends son struggled massively throughout school and into work but really found his groove when he got an apprenticeship with a local carpenter. Changed his life. Perhaps he's not been in the right roles, would something more manual help him?

@TokyoSushi autistic burnout recovery takes several months to over a year and usually requires significant life changes to prevent recurrence.

That is purposefully unkind. They are doing their best, who is helped by comments like yours?

@dswork - I also have an adult AuDHD son. Mine seems better able to cope with work, for which I am eternally grateful, but I can easily imagine myself in your situation. It doesn't sound like he is able to work independently at the moment, and if you carry on this way your own health and well being will no doubt be affected. I'd encourage him to stop for a bit and maybe volunteer or something.

None of this is anyone's fault and he's done really well to get this far

Don’t be so ridiculous.

He has a recognised disability and he’s clearly struggling to find a suitable job despite trying a lot of different roles.

Fair play to him for making the effort.

His disability makes it’s far more difficult for him to secure suitable employment compared to the average school leaver, and it’s not easy for them either!

OP. How did he cope at school? Are there activities that he enjoys that he can turn into a work opportunity?

I’d definitely get him signed off by the GP and use the time to speak to specialist employment advisers who have experience of supporting people with disabilities.

I am assuming he technically doesn’t have to work?

UC is a mixture of all the old benefits and anyone can claim to top up their income.

The only concern I would have is that if he does technically have to work, then he will be expected to go to appointments and look for work and even be given unpaid work of 40 hours a week.

So I would put him on UC, give him a couple weeks of reset but then look for PT work in an area better suited to him.

Burnout from autism and adhd aren't anything to do with a lack of motivation to cope @EmeraldShamrock000 . Pushing through would make things worse and could lead to mental and physical health problems long term.

Can he be signed off sick? If not or he is in a zero hours contract or similar then I'd give on UC

I'd agree with a pp that he should use this time to work on what type of job would be suitable for him long term. As it sounds like the sectors he has worked in are not the right fit for him. What does he like doing eg nature / outdoors, working with young children etc. He could spend the tien researching and volunteering

Is he in the right type of work? Retail and hospitality can both be very busy and stressful, especially with Christmas. Would he be better in something low demand, working outdoors for example?

It sounds like you both need a bit of a break, but make a firm commitment that it is time limited, a month maybe? Otherwise you could easily fall into the trap that out of work is easier and more comfortable making it very difficult to get back in for a variety of reasons.

I have severe nausea, stomach pains and a raging appetite. I gained a stone. Within 6 weeks the nausea stopped, the weight dropped off as I was out walking again, stopped feeling like I was going to cry or run.
If he can manage the first 4/5 weeks it is definitely worth it. Good luck 🤞

If he's in burnout then work is making him unwell. Yes I think he needs proper time off to rest. Autistic burnout takes quite a long time to recover from. If he takes enough time to properly recover he will hopefully learn more about himself and what helps him, and eventually can consider what kinds of work may actually suit him without him burning out. But I wouldn't push it as trying to do too much too soon can just set him back into burnout. He needs proper rest.

There is likely a support function for those who struggle due to issues such as your son’s. Could you contact your local DWP office and ask? My nephew was the same and the support to get him into employment was great and carried on for a while after too. A lot of it will be finding the right workplace for him which they will help with. Best of luck - it can’t be easy.

PIP is a non means tested benefit, it won't give him NI credits. Yes if he can't seem to work due to his disability, I would claim for UC.

PIP doesn't give NI credits, but if you qualify for UC for being out of work due to disability (this needs to be assessed) then you do.