DS 20 not coping with work - get him to claim UC?

Op, if he has a PIP award this is often enough to ask for reasonable adaptations in the work place in future. He would have to figure out his capacity and ask for support to maintain independence.
UC is not only always for the money although that helps. You could ask DWP if they have any work programmes, trainings or referrals for neurodiversity programmes. They are often short term, but can offer temporary relief and more income and open a pathway for more support/independence. Some jobs sourced through DWP may have built in neurodiversity support as part of their referral scheme.
About UC, I would advise for him to claim UC anyway and say he is unable to manage work due to neuro diversity and anxeity. Ask the Gp for a sick note and present it to UC for 3 or more months. DWP will want to invesitage and figure out if can work.
Alternatively he could just claim UC and ask directly to be assessed for limited capability for work or limited capability for work and related activities. Most people who get PIP may qualify for some elements. This would cover the NI contributions and hopefully get him a specialist work coach for people with limited capacity to work.
Other options are local Mind for the anxiety and mental health support, neurodiversity charities in the area, ask for referrals into activities, programmes or support. The ideal is a longer term scheme that could help DS find his place and figure his capacity for work and support systems.
I live in London, so there are many youth groups & activities for under 25, and most will have accommodations for neurodiversity. Even the local gym here has a scheme for neurodiverse youth. I sometimes see them going for basketball games.
Op, research UC limited capacity to woke and see if this fits him.

The right fit is vital. I have one who works, high level stuff, and they get along fine in their job (where they are left to work by themselves with extremely little interaction, and are even exempt from department/company meetings😁). They earn an absolute trolley load as well. However, if you put them on a checkout at Tesco they would likely have a full blown meltdown within 10 mins and wouldn’t be able to continue. Animal jobs would be out as they are scared of most, ditto for insects so most outdoor jobs wouldn’t work. It’s all about finding the right shaped hole for the shape peg they are.

In my child’s case, while they have extremely limited interaction with people at work, that’s not the case outside of work. They have lots of friends, do lots of things, go out places, but it’s always with people who have exactly same interests as them otherwise it doesn’t work. It’s all about finding the right fit, be it work or life outside of work.

This. 100%

If he wasn't working, how would he spend his time?

Is there a different direction he could go in that might suit him better? I know a couple of people asd who are self employed tradesmen, they work alone in a way that suits them. One is a painter decorator, the other is a gardener. This allows them to earn and support themselves but they can take breaks when they need & don't have to have a lot of interaction with people (both find this exhausting/overwhelming). The painter decorator doesn't speak a lot at all, but manages well as he communicates with customers via text and when actually there, there's not loads to say!

I advise on benefits (and other topics) for my job.

Firstly his GP is supportive, which is great, so he can get a "fit note" (to get signed off work) and go on sick leave. He should be entitled to SSP which is more than he'd get on benefits. He can get SSP for up to 28 weeks and when it stops, he might be able to claim new-style ESA. This depends on his NI contribution history; he would need a full NI record for 2023-24 and 2024-25. The advantage of ESA is that he'll get NI credits and it's not means-tested so it wouldn't be affected by any income or savings that he has, or gets in future. He will still have to provide fit notes and go through the work capability assessment (WCA) - the first step is to complete the ESA50 form and then he'd have an assessment in person or over the phone.

If he doesn't have enough NI contributions to claim ESA, I'd suggest claiming UC instead.

And please, please ignore any comments from ignorant and judgemental people who just don't get it. There's no shame in claiming benefits when you are not able to work due to disability or poor mental health. That's what they're for.

Hand his notice in and sign up for UC.
You can’t both be feeling unwell over this.

Then you can decide the next best steps.

Tell him he still needs to find other work though even if you’re not in a rush for him to do so - it can be even more stressful going back into work when you’ve had too long of a break (especially if you’re autistic).
You don’t want to make a rod for your own back.

Perhaps compromise by creating a timeline of him having a break for 1 month, then volunteering a couple of days a week for X amount of time and then looking for PT work.

I agree with thr others. He needs to be signed off sick and eventually claim UC. You can categorised as Low Capacity for work and work related activities.
Then whrn he's ready id get him doing some voluntary work.

This is a ridiculous stance. Your value isn't limited to your ability to work and you're not "scrap" if you can't.

This is the right approach. Retail, hospitality etc are often impossibly 'busy' for a young autistic person. But there is something more skill-based and peaceful out there that will suit him.
Important not to become a reclusive, depressive nocturnal gamer.

OP, you're asking for advice in the wrong place, most people on here seem to be both really ignorant of what life is like for autistic people, and really judgemental about claiming benefits (even when they're needed)

Your son is at a really common age for Autistic burnout and the further in to it he gets, the harder and longer it will be for him to come out of it. Ignore the 'scrap heap' type comments, it's actually the opposite for Autistic people... if he takes time to rest as much as possible now, he will be much more likely to be able to work at some stage, whether it takes 3 months or 3 years

And when I say rest as much as possible, I do mean that. Autistic burnout is awful, and for most people it needs to be a complete switch off from life in order to recover. As in watching Netflix for 10 hrs a day, or gaming to 3am, or sitting in the garden staring into space. None of this is lazy or enjoyable, it's necessary for switching the brain into rest mode and giving it a chance to recover properly

A good friend of mine has struggled similarly.

She was fine when she started work as it was just her and the boss. Her job was very specific and repetitive. She only had occasional contact with the public.

She left there about 10 years ago and has struggled hugely ever since. She still works but has found it very difficult for the reasons you describe.

She has now found somewhere where she works in a team of three, has no contact with the public, is valued for her input and, fingers crossed, it's going OK so far.

She coped so well in her first job that she wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago until work was unsustainable for her.

I have another friend who found something at 23. He started very part time amd gradually built up his hours as he became more comfortable at work. He is 42 now. He works for the same business and just increased his hours over the years as he became more comfortable and now works for them full time.

They're both autistic. I'm saying this to say that I agree that he may just need to try a few different things until he finds a role/environment that suits him.

Have you contacted somewhere like the NAS to see what support is available? Under the Autism Act 2009, he is entitled to an advocate to support him too. I know because I found out about it through them and acted as an advocate for one of my friends a few years ago when needed.

Would university be an option?

You can do foundation years if you’ve not got the grades but you still need certain grades.

It means he’ll still be doing something but there’s less pressure about having time off and there maybe more support available to him.

I would second this post, don’t listen to the posters who don’t understand Autism and burnout. He’s so young there’s loads of time to get him well and find some thing that suits him and the support he will need. I would get sick notes from the GP, don’t get him to resign though because that could make UC more difficult to claim at this stage. Ring citizens advice claim line.

I was going to write similar response.
would he manage if the work was outside/working from home with very little need for speaking to someone?
I would worry that the downward spiral would continue if he felt he had no purpose and retreated to being inside for years on end.

Ps my db has autism but not adhd and he found his early 20s super hard, with the structure of formal education ripped away he found work dreadfully difficult. He spent a year out of work which mum and dad couldn’t afford and there were massive, awful rows in my house to get him to move. I remember with pain as I was a younger sibling and my mum became desperate. He did eventually find a job he liked and had done brilliantly - he even met a girl and joined a regular pub quiz. All unthinkable when he was 21. It was a long, stressful time for my parents.

I would encourage him to change jobs not leave work altogether. Find a different pace . Do you think he might be a good swimming instructor, or enjoy working in a garden centre?

I would worry if he leaves work, he’ll be safe and comfortable at home and he won’t ever want to push himself outside the box again. so you’ll be back here in a few years asking what to do because he has “failed to launch” and you don’t know how to fix it.

My son gets UC and pip. Yours will have to do a capability to work assessment but that's nothing to worry about, it just means if he has limited capability to work he won't have to keep going to the job centre for meetings
Edited to add I see this has already been mentioned

Claiming UC doesn’t make you able to get a council flat?

OP- yes claim UC for him and at the same time as the first interview, take a fit note from the doctor. After a while this will trigger a work capability assessment (keep supplying fit notes during this). If awarded he could get more money, but it will “turn off” work commitments to give him some breathing space.
all the best to you both!

Would it be better to forget work totally for a while ...which will take the pressure off psychologically and instead look for a part time college course. Something which is well within his ability...something really easy for him and he is interested in? Nothing to do with finding a job. Just something which might boost his confidence and keep him socialized. Whatever length the course is he knows there is no worry about work for that length of time. ...a year or even just 3 months. If only 3 months he could do another course after that. I think he needs work taken totally off the table, a rest, then a basic college course of some kind to help his confidence. This could be a slow, more careful way of going forward for him. 💐

@dswork remember, claiming UC won’t be without its pressures. Even with a fit note in place, there will be appointments to attend, commitments to meet, work capability assessments etc. He will have a work coach who will be wanting to see him taking steps towards gainful employment.

All of this! I really don’t think he’d get ‘back out there’ if he stopped altogether.
Like the poster above suggested, my first thoughts were something with animals or gardening. An apprenticeship, or similar, might be a little hand hold until he can settle into something.

OP this sounds very difficult for both of you. If he claims UC and is assessed as low capability for work and work related activities he will have a work allowance of about £600 so he can earn that much before his UC is affected. That might be a good compromise to keep him in the workforce but give him space to build up his ability at his own pace.

I think the key here is finding more suitable medication and a job he enjoys.

What job is he doing atm?

Does he enjoy animals or working outside eg gardening?

Would he enjoy going to a gym in his leisure time?

i think it will be very hard to get him back in the workforce if he just stops working.

Yes, I’m aware, thank you.
Steraline is also excellent at calming anxiety and depression.
I have two children who are diagnosed with ASD and other issues
Pushing through would make things worse and could lead to mental and physical health problems long term. I agree but leaving them as they are isn’t healthy either..
Anyway OP, he should definitely claim UC while using the time to build up his confidence or a skill he enjoys, not staying in his room 24/7 only leaving to eat as that won’t be beneficial long term.

I think what you’re up against here is people’s dislike of anyone claiming benefits rather than working. So this is giving you the answers you are getting.

I think your son should leave his job if he can’t cope. He has difficulties that go above what a 20 year old is normally dealing with. He doesn’t need to make himself unwell and unhappy. A break for now could allow you both to find something more suitable and supportive for him.

im not sure whether he can claim benefits if he voluntarily leaves his job but that’s something you can check easily. He’s allowed a life without constant stress and so are you. Good luck