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Original poster

To think we should get the best room in a villa?

506 replies

hwange · 16/01/2026 07:28

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

  • One room for me and my husband
  • One room for our older son and his girlfriend
  • One room for our younger son
  • Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

OP posts:
LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:51

InterestedDad37 · 16/01/2026 11:46

Well, you know, bringing them up, and all the rest of it 😀

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They chose to have children. Our children don’t have to be grateful that we had them and brought them up. It’s what parents should do. You sound like my in laws and they’re hugely entitled. I find that people that think like them weren’t the best parents, they just think being older and being at the top of their hierarchy in their head means they get respect regardless. It’s not something I buy into.

LumpyandBumps · 16/01/2026 11:50

So, excluding the single person who is ok with a less desirable room there are two couples attending, and one half of each couple will be celebrating a significant birthday?
I would say they both have equal entitlement to the best room.
Why would you think that you should have it?
In the circumstances you describe I feel it would be reasonable for the person organising to have it as they have done more to facilitate it.
If that is not acceptable then the only fair way is by some form of chance. Draw lots, random numbers, etc.
I am a similar age to you and I would never expect the best room just because I have been living longer.

velvetgeranium · 16/01/2026 11:48

Damonna · 16/01/2026 10:39

In a family trip I would say the parents or oldest family members get the best room. In a friends situation it would be the organiser.

Yep, but MN is phenomenally ageist and resentful of older people.

PatchouliPrincess · 16/01/2026 11:48

I was brought up to respect my elders so even if I organised it I would give the parents the best room.
Without question.

OkimADHD · 16/01/2026 11:47

I think the birthday boys should get 1st choice but ur son and his girlfriend 1st then u and hubbie.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 16/01/2026 11:46

Namechangerage · 16/01/2026 11:43

I mean I kind of get the logic re the younger son. Say it’s £2500, and they each pay £500. So the 2 couples are paying £500 each for half a room and the single person is paying £500 for a room to themselves. Seems fair to give the bigger rooms to the people sharing and who are paying £1k between them for that room.

If I was OP and really wanted to be “top dog” with the best room (not sure why she feels so entitled to it but…) I would have offered to put more money in.

But what seems to be happening here is the younger son is paying £833, same as everyone else, so should have the same potential claim to the best room as everyone else. If he's paying the same it's irrelevant that the others are "sharing" a room - they're couples so of course they are!

InterestedDad37 · 16/01/2026 11:46

LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:41

No, you said it was because ‘without whom none of them would be there’. Prizes for shagging and reproducing. Thats weird.

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Well, you know, bringing them up, and all the rest of it 😀

Namechangerage · 16/01/2026 11:44

VictoriousPunge · 16/01/2026 11:43

If this happened in my family, the 30-year-olds would offer the best room to the 60-year-olds, and the 60-year-olds would refuse.

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This!! Except that in my family the older ones would refuse and in my in laws they would def accept 🤣

midlifemover21 · 16/01/2026 11:43

Just enjoy the time with your family! A holiday like this at the ages you all are is precious time. Who cares what bed you sleep in. Enjoy the company and the time together.

Namechangerage · 16/01/2026 11:43

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 16/01/2026 11:42

But it’s also the single son who’s getting shitty rooms 30th birthday?

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Nope the 28 year old is the single one

VictoriousPunge · 16/01/2026 11:43

hwange · 16/01/2026 07:28

We’re going away as a family to celebrate two birthdays: my husband’s 60th and our son’s 30th. There will be five adults: me, my husband, our two sons (30 and 28) and older son’s partner.

We’ve rented a five-bedroom holiday house. The plan is:

  • One room for me and my husband
  • One room for our older son and his girlfriend
  • One room for our younger son
  • Two smaller spare rooms

Everyone is paying an equal share, and our older son’s girlfriend organised the whole booking.

All the bedrooms are nice, but one is clearly the best (great view and a fancy bed), one is also very good, and one is more basic but has a small kitchen.

What’s the fairest way to decide who gets which room?

If this happened in my family, the 30-year-olds would offer the best room to the 60-year-olds, and the 60-year-olds would refuse.

Namechangerage · 16/01/2026 11:43

I mean I kind of get the logic re the younger son. Say it’s £2500, and they each pay £500. So the 2 couples are paying £500 each for half a room and the single person is paying £500 for a room to themselves. Seems fair to give the bigger rooms to the people sharing and who are paying £1k between them for that room.

If I was OP and really wanted to be “top dog” with the best room (not sure why she feels so entitled to it but…) I would have offered to put more money in.

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 16/01/2026 11:42

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 16/01/2026 10:46

I can only think of a Christmas when as a family party of 12, we rented a converted pub in Devon. I booked it and did much of the organising, but the best bedroom (biggest, balcony, best view) was allocated to my widowed Dsis who’d come from the US with her newish boyfriend.

TBH I didn’t even think of giving it to me and dh.

If it were me in your case, I’d probably allocate it to the 60th birthday boy and spouse.

But it’s also the single son who’s getting shitty rooms 30th birthday?

LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:41

InterestedDad37 · 16/01/2026 11:34

If my parents were still alive, and I organised a trip for them, myself and other siblings/assorted partners, I'd offer them the most comfortable room. That's all there is to it. I don't consider it strange.

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No, you said it was because ‘without whom none of them would be there’. Prizes for shagging and reproducing. Thats weird.

Sauvignonblanket · 16/01/2026 11:39

But also it's not fair on the younger son, agree with that.

Namechangerage · 16/01/2026 11:37

Organiser gets it. I don’t get why the parents are not subsidising it a bit more in which case of course they should get the fancy room.

Sauvignonblanket · 16/01/2026 11:37

For me, if I was organsing for a family group like this, I would offer it to the parents as a thoughtful gesture - it doesn't need to be everyone out for the best for themselves at all times.

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 16/01/2026 11:36

Organiser usually gets dibs however feel very sorry for the youngest son who has to pay the same as couples and gets the shittest room. Quite frankly he should get the best room (or maybe second best) since hes paying the most per person! I would have definitely let him pay a bit less even if it was just 2/3rd the couple cost.

ThisOldThang · 16/01/2026 11:34

I'm not sure the organiser should get the best room. It creates a moral hazard where they just need to find somewhere with one great room and stuff everybody else.

They should probably pick last to ensure they book a place good enough for everybody.

Choosing the organiser should be done randomly or rotated between family units.

InterestedDad37 · 16/01/2026 11:34

LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:29

Weird.

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If my parents were still alive, and I organised a trip for them, myself and other siblings/assorted partners, I'd offer them the most comfortable room. That's all there is to it. I don't consider it strange.

Welshmum2010 · 16/01/2026 11:32

Whenever I’ve been away i with a group it works as :

cost is split by person not rooms, if there’s small children then that has to be worked out

organsiser gets best room unless it’s an occasion like a hen party then bride gets best room

LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:31

Imdunfer · 16/01/2026 11:28

One change every few days. I'd personally do it happily to share a room in a villa that was head and shoulders better than anyone else's.

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I wouldn’t. I’m on holiday so I want to relax, not be making beds or washing sheets and moving clothes, toiletries, jewellery etc around.

Idontthinkibelonghere · 16/01/2026 11:30

The youngest son who is single and has to be on a vacation with two couples should get the best room.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 16/01/2026 11:29

ParmaVioletTea · 16/01/2026 11:26

No, you wouldn't. You'd all chip in to pay equal shares if you're family.

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Exactly - the younger son is getting a raw deal here. Unless there are non-couples sharing a room it's not a perk to get your own room when you're single! Especially as it's a 5-bed villa - they can all have their own rooms if they want Grin

LoveIsJustARiver · 16/01/2026 11:29

InterestedDad37 · 16/01/2026 11:23

Absolutely 😂

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Weird.

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