To think we should get the best room in a villa?

I'm reading this as 'theres conflict because sons gf wants this room as do i'

I'd be careful OP. Personally, I'd be delighted that my sons and their partners choose to spend their money doing this with me. Further that the gf is organizing. Very worst case scenario - you cause such a stink over a room, the gf clocks and says never again. It could be - in years to come - you regret your behaviour here.

Can’t believe you are making your son pay the same as couples because he is single. It’s just mean and money grabbey. This is a family holiday not a posh hotel trip.

Why do you think you should get the best room?

Usually it’d be whoever is paying the biggest share but as you’re all contributing equally then it should be the person who has put in the effort to organise it because that is a non-financial payment, ie your son’s partner.

I cannot for the life of me think why you would think you should get the best room if you are all paying equally

Is this a reverse and you are the organising gf and his parents are being entitled?! 🤣

Organiser gets first choice
or you decide to split payment differently by room niceness

How big a difference is there in the rooms?

Exactly - I would offer it whether they were 60 or 80, but the sense of entitlement from the OP is awful. These are adult children, not teenagers!

I think a draw would be fair, but if I were the son and girlfriend I'd offer it to the parents. I'm of a generation that had an age hierarchy though, that seems to be gone, maybe for the best, who knows.

In my family we would all of course expect dad to have the best room- just as a sign of respect, but that’s just they way we are I guess.

Fair enough if you would give it. It doesn't mean that the older couple should expect it, that's cheeky. And it isn't the organisers here asking for advice, it's the one half of the 'older' couple. Personally, I barely consider 60 to be older. It is middle aged, most 60 year olds still work. There is no way that the OP can ask for this room without coming off like a diva.

Ah missed that!

Do people really think that? Of course it goes to the parents. If everyone was the same age (or friends of different ages). But I wouldn't dream of giving the second best room to ILs. It would be demeaning.

Why can't you move rooms so everyone gets dibs on it during the holiday?

In my experience if someone's old enough that it's an important factor at all, they'll choose the most practical option for them rather than the "best" per se - the downstairs room if there is one, or the closest to the toilet.

Nails it

I think you've put your finger on it.

I'd give it to the older couple.

Youngest son should be paying 1/5 not 1/3, ridiculous to have it otherwise.

Always room for discussion about "best rooms" ime. Last time this came up for me, one room had the fancy bed and grand view, but the "second" room had a more secluded balcony and weirdly more plug sockets. Didn't hesitate to choose the latter. I've also chosen "second-best" bedrooms that are smaller but quieter at the back of the house. I'm not remotely bothered about having a view in my bedroom because I'm hopefully not going to spend the majority of my waking hours in it.

Having said that if you want the best room your best option is to offer to pay extra for it. If you're not paying extra and didn't organise it there's no reason you should be entitled to it.

Fair point. I personally was brought up to offer the truly old the best of everything, as a sign of respect. However, that's actually something I'm trying to unlearn a bit, so you are correct. There is no reason why the eldest couple should expect to be entitled to the best, and it's pretty cheeky for them to assume they should.

I would offer the room to the parents in this scenario if it were me and my parents/ILs. The OP is being really entitled in assuming that she and her husband should automatically get the best room just because they're the oldest though.

Personally I would leave the best room for my parents/PIL simply because they're older. Just like I always let Mil in the front seat because it's comfortable. It's about respect. If it would have been friends going I would say organiser as well.

But if I was the OP I wouldn't expect it. And certainly not say something entitled about it. What gives me such pleasure to let Mil have the best of everything is that she absolutely does not expect it- on the contrary she has a tendancy to put everyone else's desires first.

The organiser.

If everyone pays an equal share, the person doing the work of organising should get the best room.

Older son and girlfriend as they have the double whammy of having organised it and having a big birthday.

Parents need to get their heads out of being top of the hierarchy imo.

Yeah this. I have to say as the girlfriend if I had organised and paid a good chunk towards a weekend away with my boyfriend parents and then they started insisting on having the best room I’d be pretty annoyed and it would make me think twice about going on a trip with them again.

OP be mindful how you treat this woman, who’s already clearly making the effort for your family. Don’t be that MIL who’s on here in a few year’s time moaning you hardly see the grandkids because your behaviour is alienating the gf.

If everyone is paying the same then I'd give the best room to the person who organised it.

In our family I think I would give my parents the best bedroom as a gesture of love and repect. 30 is pretty young to be bagging the senior room .
However my parents would also insist on paying for something like the cost of a celebratory meal out of everyone and are always hugely generous.
I don’t think there is any SHOULD about this arrangement .