To think we should get the best room in a villa?

I can't tell if you're unreasonable to think that you should get the best room as you haven't explained your logic re why you should.

Why do you think you should get the best room @hwange?

Imo the organiser gets to pick. Failing that you could draw straws - of course if you did that the younger son could end up with the best room and you'd all be miserable!

Organiser gets dibs on the room always.

Only exception would be some kind of mobility issue or disability or medical need that make one particular room better suited to a particular person.

Definitely organiser gets nice room. Organising this sort of thing is a major pain.

Probably the person who’s organised but to be honest if I’d been the one to do the organising, I’d probably suggest my parents or in-laws would get the ‘best’ room.

Why does 60 trump 30? They are both milestone birthdays.

While I feel you are being unreasonable assuming you should get the best room, If i was your DIL and as it is her FIL 60th also, I would insist they get the better room and we take the next best thing.

I do this every year for my MIL. She spends more time in her room than us and she doesn't have the luxuries at home. To us its just a bed and somewhere to get changed.

Just be entirely selfish like my ex sister in law who took the best room despite only being in the early stages of dating my bil, and the fact mil paid for the whole house. Also tried to organise the cooking arrangements without any consultation. Over 25 years ago now, but not forgotten. Fortunately she's out of our lives now.

How about focusing on enjoying the break and being gracious?

Yes! AND she's only the girlfriend. Not the DiL. No way on earth, at 30, would I have gone on holiday with my in-law family. If @hwange wants other family holidays she needs to tread very very carefully about this one.

Humble and grateful is my suggestion.

Sorry - missed this and thought son was paying the same as each couple, which seemed a bit unfair!

So scratch what I said re the sliding payments, but someone could still pay extra for the big room.

The organiser should have first choice. It's hard work and time consuming finding somewhere suitable. If I was her, I'd be annoyed if you took the best room just because you're the oldest or the parents.

Organiser should get the best room.

I think organiser gets it as a default unless there’s a reason why someone else needs it. So being older doesn’t really factor in unless there’s some reason why it’s more suitable for you, which doesn’t include a nice view.

Or, one party or couple could pay more for the nice room.

It does seem a bit unfair that your youngest son is paying the same as each couple but doesn’t even get a look in for either of the nicest rooms - yes he gets his own room, but he takes up less space in the villa as a whole. Also, if he gets the most basic room, he should pay a bit less.

I would consider scaling the payments according to who gets each room - so occupants of the best room (if not the organiser) should pay a bit more and the single person pays a bit less if they’re getting a more basic room.

Why should the 60th get the room over the 30th? Given that they are all paying equally. Just why? They were all equal except the organisers who put more effort in, ergo, they should get it. If the OP and her husband want all the benefits of being the head of the family, they need to pay for everyone.

Yeah as everyone else has said, the person organising gets the best room if costs are equally split.

Which i assume is not the answer you wanted to recieve.

As you’re all paying the same, then the organiser gets the best room. I’m not sure why you would think you would get it.

But the organiser isn't taking her parents. The parents in this scenario have done nothing for her as a child yet she has taken hours of our her schedule to sort a trip for them all and OP just expects the best room. Maybe OP should have sorted the trip themselves if they wanted the best room.

Organising a villa takes a lot of time to research, make sure all ok for everyone. Therefore it’s polite to give organiser first dibs.
what’s your thinking why you should get the best room? If you were paying, then yes. But you are not.
We had a family holiday recently. IL only stipulation was they got the bedroom with a walk in shower and not over the bath. As organiser we got first dibs on the room.

Why should you be getting the best room?

In my family, my parents would pay for all of us, and they'd get the best room

Why doesn’t it apply the other way round? Op “giving back” to thank the dil for organising. The organiser is also one half of a “big birthday” couple, in the same way that the op is - why isn’t it a gift towards the son’s birthday?

Call me old fashioned but in this situation, if I were the ‘child’ I would automatically assign the nicest room to my parents out of respect and acknowledgment of their senior position in the family and all they have done for us as their children. I would hope that my children would do the same but I wouldn’t get into a row about it. I’d be disappointed in them if they didn’t.

Older son as his partner organised it BUT - if it was me I’d give my parents the best room because they are my parents and have probably sacrificed a lot over the years for the kids. And you know, they are my parents!

Really surprised how many think the organiser should get the best room.

As someone who has organised many similar trips for family and friends over the years . in this situation there is no way I’d take the best room on my dads 60th celebration even though it would be my 30th.

Organising trips / holidays is an effort but if you expect privileges because you’re doing it then I’d say maybe stop doing it.

Organiser deals with it. And by saying nothing there is more chance she might generously give it to you. But definitely shouldn't expect it or discuss it.