To think we should get the best room in a villa?

Come off it. I'm 70+ and would not expect any favours if someone else had done all the arrangements. I'd happily have a lesser room if I was just on the holiday and not saddled with the responsibility.

The moral of the story is "Whoever did the work gets the payout". Next time you want first dibs at a room, you organise it.

Out of interest, what would be your feeling if they were the elders, but it wasn't either of their significant birthdays; but it was still a significant birthday of one of the younger couple? Who would 'win' then?

And also, one very crucial point is that none of us know what their DS and his GF's plans are, in organising this holiday for them all. They may well have intended to offer - and insist on - the best room to his parents right from the outset.

It's kind of randomly being assumed that they will be as selfish as OP is and won't hear of anybody else getting the best room; but we have no way of knowing that they aren't kind and considerate in prioritising other people's happiness in simple little token gestures like this.

Yes, they have fewer years of life left; but given that they'll most probably be retiring in a few years, and their days of having to work their own lives around those of young children are over, I would expect that they have a good number of lovely, free years ahead of them.

Do you really think that, because one supposedly mature adult decides to sulk like a little child because they don't get preferential treatment, that means everybody else should just give in to them and let them get their way for peace? On the contrary, in reality, such behaviour would almost certainly earn you a firm exclusion from ever being asked on any more joint family holidays.

I think out of respect, they should ask you if you and your DH want it, as you’re the elders and it’s your husband’s 60th.

To the person upthread who thinks you just open the brochure and pick and voila holiday booked…

1. pick dates, not easy with larger groups
2. pick country and resort, does it suit everyone?
3. check you can fly there from local airports on right dates
4. slog online through every local villa. Check bedrooms have right beds/bathrooms/location ok
5. work out hire care/taxi/transfer options
6. book it, pay money, get money back ryo everyone. Make sure everyone has got flights sorted. It’s not a 5 minute job.

They're 60 (assuming op is the same age as her dh), not 80. Most people I know who have retired (so older than op) travel way more than they did when they were younger.

I think OP and her husband should get the bigger and better room. They’re older and chances are they may not have very many years of travel before them. Their son and gf, due to their youth, have many more opportunities of having the “primary suite.” Plus having one person sulking and walking around with a face like a slapped arse ruins the holiday for every one. Let them have it.

The organiser gets the best room, I would have said.

She's put in time and effort, so has effectively paid more than you.

The OP’s already confirmed that the cost was split 5 ways, not 3.

No I don’t think you should get the best room and I think the cost should have been split 5 ways with you and your husband paying for 2/5, your older son and gf paying 2/5 and younger son paying 1/5. Organiser gets first pick. We do family villa holidays every year with DDs, SIL and DGD and have never insisted on the best room even though we pay for the villa as we have more spare money. We are usually offered it but would never insist.

Organiser allocates rooms

I thought you were going to say you’d paid for it all, in which case it would obviously be you with the nicest room, but as you’re all paying the same I’d draw names out of a hat.

I’m always the organiser of these things in our family but unless we’ve paid for it all as well (which we often do) I wouldn’t expect first dibs on the rooms.

Sometimes it’s just obvious who has which one, ie one single person and one single room. Also if we were away with our kids and their spouses and there were only one king sized bed, we’d probably offer it to DD and DSIL because DSIL is 6ft3 and he’d have a much better time if he’d got room to sleep! Other than that I can’t see why you think you should have the best room…..

In OP's case, I think it's because she expected people to side with her and they didn't. At least she cleared off rather that give a dripfeed explaining that her son's GF is actually a serial killer or whatever excuse people use when a thread isn't going their way.

OP perhaps you can shed some light on a question that’s cropped up on one or two threads recently.

Why do people start threads and then just fuck off? Any thoughts?

Non-organisers always seem to assume that organising things is a five-minute job... yet, oddly enough, they still see it as way beyond their own capabilities to do.

See also people who are talented artists, who have 'friends' asking them to 'just' do them a large watercolour painting of a loved one as a present for their milestone birthday in three days' time... but don't worry, they're willing to give you a tenner for your efforts and will also generously chuck an extra fiver your way for materials...

She didn't even feel the need to claim age as her (very shaky) 'reason' - I think we were all just left to assume that was 'obviously' why she deserved priority. She gave no reason whatsoever. It's as meaningful as starting a thread asking "I have a spare ticket for a concert and I have two friends who I know would like to go with me - Laura and Catherine - which of them do you strangers on MN think I should invite along?"

The only other possible 'justification' could have been "I think I'm just great, so I'm right in thinking that I automatically deserve preferential treatment, aren't I?"

If there had been any genuine reason, surely she would have said? If, say, OP or her DH were a wheelchair user and the nicest bedroom happened to be the only one on the ground floor... but in a scenario like that, who on earth would be envisioning anything other than them having it as a matter of course?

Yea I agree. Researching locations, then researching villas, checking the amenities are suitable, good location to beach/restaurants, then checking suitable flights… it’s not difficult I find it fun and exciting, but it is hugely time consuming- especially when booking for a mixed group with different non-negotiables etc.

Rubbish!

It can ge time consuming. I spend hours comparing different websites for accommodation, location, facilities, price, reviews, suitability for everyone in the party etc. Then if it's not a package deal you have to see what flights are available on what dates, times etc. It's not a case of opening up a brochure and hey presto, the perfect holiday lands in your lap. I wish it was!

No true.

I doubt it. I bet she thought that she would be propped up by a lot of people who think that non preferential treatment is 'ageism', and when that didn't happen, she skedaddled.

No, she wouldn't. If the OP had been the organiser, everyone would have supported her. She isn't being discriminated against for her age, merely being told that it doesn't entitle her to preferential treatment.

OP are you ever going to come back and tell us why you think you deserve the best room?

Organiser gets it. But if the organiser happened to be 60, then she would be called entitled if she expected to get it.