To think that if dh doesn’t want to go, I should go without him?

I went away a lot without DH and either with or without DC when I was a SAHM. DH wasn't bothered on going anywhere so it was go without him or not go at all. What he earnt was our money though, not his money.

Recently he's become more interested in travel and there are a few places he'd like to go that I don't want to go back to, mainly because there are so many places I still haven't seen. He's free to go on his own but prefers to come where I want to go because I do all the organising.

I'd just talk to DH and see what he thinks.

In your position I would just wait until I was earning again, then go to the Vatican/Auschwitz on my own, and/or with the DCs when they are of an age to appreciate it.

Your DH is weird though in his fixation with not going anywhere more than once, it does sound a bit of a drag, but I know at least three women whose husbands were a PITA about holidays, so they always holidayed with friends or alone.

This puts my feelings very succinctly. I took my dh and dc to Greece this summer (spent lots of summers there as a child) dh only went to Cornwall growing up and I wanted to share my love of Greece because I knew he’d love it to.

Once you're working, and assume it's within your overall family budget, of course it's fine for to go away without him. But it shouldn't be at the expense of a family holiday somewhere you all want to go - that should be a priority. And of course DH is then entitled to a separate trip if he wants. Whilst you're not working - absolutely not.

Yes, and?

By any chance, did he never organise any of those trips he went on himself and probably wouldnt have gone if it wasnt for it being family and someone else paying for it? My hunch based on other men i know (im sure there are women who are the same but in my experience its been men) is that they cant be bothered to organise anything, cant be bothered to wrangle kids on holiday as they know they cant escape to 'work' or 'house jobs' dont see the point in actively making time for travel as they cant be bothered and wont see how it benefits the other person/their kids and the relationships.
My friends ex husband constantly said he didnt want to go places he'd been, and then blocked alternative suggestions subtley throughout the duration of the relationship, so she ended up taking the kids away herself on cheap uk breaks (back when this was cheap) as he would moan about money if she tried to book her and the kids to go away, even though they could afford it. A couple of years ago after they divorced, pne of the kids said it was a pity they didnt all go away together, as he had led the kids to believe it was down to money, and he laughingly told his adult kids that it was because 'who wants to go on holiday with your kids, cant enjoy yourself properly can you' and thought he'd been really clever!!

Does he not want to return because he has a list of new places he really wants to see? Or just is being a bit disinterested in any holiday at all?
I’d return to places to share them with a partner, were I to have or even want one!
The only place I would never return to though is Auschwitz- I witnessed it, as the guide said, and wouldn’t want to sort of tourist it (though I know I sort of did in the first place). However, I’d definitely return to Krakow and some other places we went to there, but try to ensure I saw bits I missed. If the other person wanted to visit Auschwitz then they obviously could, no issue, just I’d do something else that day.
But this is all personal- you need to assess and discuss what is your joint budget (whoever input on wages it is equal outtake) and compromise on a family holiday but if you have places he simply won’t go then ensure you have those as well - with friends, daughter or solo - and husband gets equivalent time to do his preferences. It would be selfish of him to take away your plans/hopes of nearly anything, and definitely affordable travel.
Don’t just abandon these travel ideas - you get one life that runs away with itself.

Just do it. It's a free country, you can do what you want. I know there's the issue of money, but you have earned at least the equivalent of whatever you'd have to pay in nursery fees.

I've gone on holiday without DH loads of times - sometimes with a different relative, sometimes me and the kids, and I've done a group hiking holiday, which I signed up to it on my own, but did the hike with a group of people I didn't know.

My DH is less into holidays than me, and finds long-hauls very anxiety-inducing, whereas I'm more adventurous. He also doesn't like hiking. He's just more of a stay at home type. Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer him to come with me because I enjoy his company, and he'd come if I begged him, but I want him to be happy, and I know he spends most holidays just feeling anxious and wanting to get back home (although he tries to hide it for my sake)

Go for it. Just because your dh has been somewhere is no reason for you or dc to miss out.

Well if a man decided they would do whatever they want whenever they want they would be called selfish, I have places i have been i would prefer not to go again till I have done other places, but we compromise

I think it’s a shame that one person vetos on a ‘been there, done that’ basis particularly world-famous destinations.

edited to add: for a family holiday, I mean

I think maybe getting ahead of yourself. When you’re in the position to do it, sure go, take tje kids, it’s 2026 not 1956 we don’t need a man ro escort us.

Of course you should go!

Once you are back working, if your kids are in school you will likely need to split much of your holidays anyway, to cover.

So you could be travelling with your Dc to the places you would love to see.

Meanwhile, a city break. If ££ is tight say that you would like a contribution as your birthday present.

Yes, go! His experiences shouldn't veto your desired experiences.

I would revisit places for the sake of my partner, he sounds v stubborn. The sahm part is irrelevant

It would cost her if she was outsourcing it too.

His cash?
Is he paying her for the childcare? No...
It's both their money.

I too was never taken on holiday as a child. First time on a plane was when I was 20. Until then, nothing.

I absolutely take holidays without my partner, and same for him - and then we take one together every year - two if we get a good deal. I went to the US with just my son a couple of years ago, and my partner has been to Europe just with a friend as they wanted to watch the football. However in 2025 we had one beach holiday and one city break together.

It's all about balance, and I suppose it also helps that we don't (couldn't) have children.

If you’re a SAHM then his income is your money as much as his!

If you can afford it I’d start by booking some long weekends with the DC and go from there, then they can see a bit of the world and you can enjoy exploring with them. There are often cheap Eurostar deals to Paris, you could start there?

Do you currently go on holiday within the UK at least, or do you never go on holiday at all? If you don’t go anywhere then time to book some weekends in Cornwall / Edinburgh / London / York / Lake District / wherever you fancy!

I don't think there is anything wrong with separate trips as long as there is also funds and opportunity for a family trip that year, that takes priority.

So one family holiday that both of you input and choose

Then if you want a solo trip (or he does) then allocate a pot of money that you can each use

I can see why he doesn't want to return to certain places...part of the excitement for me is going to new places on holiday

She is "earning". Her contribution would cost him £££ if he was outsourcing it and it's what allows him to go out and earn.

Unless your DHs income is huge, I don’t think you should do this until you have your own money. Talking the dc away on holiday without your DH is fine if he doesn’t want to go, but it doesn’t seem right to
do Something so self indulgent and expensive when you aren’t earning and family holidays should be the priority.

Once you are earning again definitely book and go if you want to! You don’t have to do everything together, my husband loves to ski, I went with him the first time and realised it was not for me so now he goes with friends, I’ve had holidays with my friends, I took our daughter away with just me last year and taking both kids away in May, no issues or drama

Does he want to travel at all? If not that’s a whole other discussion.

I’d sit down together and plan places you’d both like then come up with a list of places you’d like and compromise that he either sucks it up and comes with you, I agree with pp I don’t get his Rome attitude there’s plenty to see and you could split off for a day when you get there, or you go alone.

It’s not ‘his cash’ if she’s the full time carer to their joint kids.