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AIBU?

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Learning to drive is my husband bu

160 replies

lownessy · 15/01/2026 22:01

Early 30s and learning to drive have weekly lessons my driving instructor had suggested I try practice driving during the week with out him if I can. My husband is refusing saying he won’t take me out as he doesn’t feel comfortable. I have no one else who could either. I am on the insurance for the car and I paid the deposit for it if that makes any difference. Today we had a 3 minute journey from our house to pick our toddler up and I suggested I drive there but he said no. I’ve had a lessons for a while now and just waiting for my theory test before we can look at me being ready to book my actual test. I couldn’t get a date for theory for a while. I’m desperate to get some more driving in but actual lessons are so expensive and I really just want to be able to practice driving with out being told go left go right etc I just want to be able to practicing driving myself to say the supermarket with someone sat with me in the car. I find 6 days between lessons a very long gap but can’t afford any more and husband can’t take any more time off to allow me to have lessons he goes in an hour late to work on a certain day.

OP posts:
Burningbud1981 · 15/01/2026 22:13

It’s not as easy as you think to supervise and teach a learner driver. My mum refused to teach me. I had to learn through lessons. I got there in the end and have been driving for 12 years.

MargaretThursday · 15/01/2026 22:11

I hate going out with a learner.
Dh loves it.

I'm also not very good at it because I get stressed and Then the learner gets stressed.

Dh just says things like "a little further from the hedge next time" as the car goes into it...

Don't push him if he isn't confident - it won't be good for either of you.

IPM · 15/01/2026 22:10

Your instructor has dual controls

Your husband does not

YABU

Notmyreality · 15/01/2026 22:10

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 15/01/2026 22:07

Your husband is being really unreasonable and unkind, why does he not want you driving?

My guess is he likes you not being able to drive.

What a load of bollocks

Catza · 15/01/2026 22:09

You absolutely don't want to be in a car with someone who is not comfortable supervising you. My ex was constantly yanking on handbrake because he felt anxious with me driving. Two trips and I pulled the plug on it myself because it wasn't safe.
I passed my test just on the back of having weekly driving lessons. It's perfectly possible so I wouldn't worry about it. With the length of time you have to wait for test, you'll have plenty of practice with your instructor.

modernfairies · 15/01/2026 22:09

Eenameenadeeka · 15/01/2026 22:05

It's important that the supervisor feels comfortable with it, and he doesn't. I think you have to have the right temperament for it.

I agree. My dad was able to take me out driving but he is a flying instructor so very calm. Mum was a complete fucking nightmare. She would grab the handbrake every time she felt a bit nervous which meant I did a handbrake turn on the dual carriageway (I was driving perfectly sensibly and passed my test less than a week later, she just couldn’t cope with it.)

Notmyreality · 15/01/2026 22:08

Of course he isnt being unreasonable. You cant force someone into that position if they aren’t comfortable.
Doubly so that I presume you’d need to take your toddler with you in the car also which is incredibly risky.

lownessy · 15/01/2026 22:07

He actually hates that I don’t drive but says he didn’t feel comfortable teaching me

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 15/01/2026 22:07

Your husband is being really unreasonable and unkind, why does he not want you driving?

My guess is he likes you not being able to drive.

Eenameenadeeka · 15/01/2026 22:05

It's important that the supervisor feels comfortable with it, and he doesn't. I think you have to have the right temperament for it.

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