Learning to drive is my husband bu

Do you have any companies near you that hire dual control cars (Arnold Clark does it), maybe you could do that, so you can get private practise in but he also has some control of the pedals? He might be a bit more relaxed instead of using the family car ?

He is being neither of those things, but you are. How dare you put these stupid ideas in the OP’s head? Absolutely shameful.

You've obviously not got the first idea how stressful it can be to supervise a learner driver without dual controls. The OPs husband is perfectly within his rights to not want to do something that makes him uncomfortable. It’s got nothing to do with your bizarre idea that he doesn’t want her driving. Genuinely, how dare you?

Is this really the only guess you can come up with?

Good lord, you must be fairly difficult to get on with if your mind leaps over all the other perfectly plausible possible reasons, to get to this.

I had my own car when I was learning, a right old banger. I insured my friend on my car, she collected me in the morning and I drove us to and from work every day, and she got use of my car at all other times. I think that helped loads with confidence tbh, and OP I can see where you're coming from. My friend did not teach me to drive, I just practiced driving while she sat with me. I guess that's all you want from hubby? Not unreasonable.

Any friends who can help? Good luck when you get your test dates!

I get you OP. I learned to drive in my 30s and my DH has never been a happy passenger and still isn’t. Maybe it’s a control thing, maybe it’s my driving.

For you: book as many lessons with your instructor as you can afford to maximise your practice hours. I used to do 2 lessons per week

🤣🤣🤣 Winner of the weirdest post of the day!

You can't make him do it but I think he is being quite selfish to dismiss the idea outright.. presumably he has never been in a car with you driving so has no idea of how well you drive, he should at least make a short journey with you driving before he decides one way or the other.

And for people saying they would be reluctant to teach, OP doesn't need teaching, she needs practice, she just needs someone who can sit in the car while she practices what she has already learned.

My mum put me on the insurance on her car and let me drive to the seaside and back one day, and here there and everywhere, she never tried to teach me, she just let me do the driving, I felt like it helped me a lot, as when you are on a lesson you are constantly waiting for the next instruction, next instruction, which can be quite stressful in itself and isn't at all like real driving where you are making the decisions.

Anything like this which can help you become a more confident driver should at least be considered before throwing the idea out the window.

Yep, and not only that, but how many drivers out there would pass their test now if they suddenly had to take it again?
OP's DH could end up teaching her his bad habits.

This is a great idea. Parking practice after hours (ie; when there are no other cars) would be good.

DH tried to help me learn and it was awful - we had several huge arguments and eventually we both refused to do it anymore.

I don’t think it’ll be beneficial to you to go out with someone that’s nervous about it. It’ll just knock your confidence. I also would never take a learner out tbh. It’s very different as an instructor with dual controls than without.

There’s no way I would supervise a learner driver. I would be very nervous and that’s not a safe situation for either person.

My ex was insistent that we did this, as his superior driving ability would ensure that I passed my test.

Got to the massive junction in the pissing rain, he refused to wind the window down enough to stop everything steaming up (the fan wasn't enough) and lit up a cigarette, declaring that I'd have to get used to distractions soon enough if I was ever going to pass my test.

I frantically wound my window down with him bellowing at me as we were stopped at the lights, cleared enough of the condensation off the windshield to be able to see where I was going, drove through the junction with him yelling at me to put my foot down and just pull alongside/undertake the artic about to turn left at an angle, turned left to a minor road, parked, took the keys out the ignition, checked behind me before opening the door, got out - and walked to the bus stop.

I was apparently completely unreasonable for not wanting him to 'teach' me.

It's far better your DH refuses.

YABU driving school cars have dual controls. Your DH's car wont have, and I can understand why he would feel uncomfortable with it all.

I never did any driving between lessons when I was learning.

I wouldn't be comfortable with a learner driver either. I think YABU and you may realise that yourself once you pass.

I passed with instructor lessons only. This was some years ago but it was in a busy city so there was a lot of traffic. No one in my immediate family drove and we didn’t have a car in the family so I couldn’t practice in between either. Oh actually I did let my boyfriend at the time take me out once, but it was an absolute disaster and we fell out practically immediately. I think I only had about 12 lessons because that was all I could afford at the time – and this was back when they were about £8.50 an hour – and I passed the first time. When my two sons were learning to drive though I did let them drive to school with me in the passenger seat. I absolutely hated it to be honest. They both passed first time, but I don’t think it was down to me as I was giving off serious stress vibes. So no, I don’t think it’s the essential to practice in between lessons.

I don’t think it comes naturally to some people but really he’s not teaching you to drive. He’s an extra pair of eyes and experienced judgement.

I take my son out to practice. First thing I did was get him to show me how to stop (on an empty street) so I knew he could follow that instruction, and then we were off.

Could you get your instructor to speak to DH to assure him you are competent to practice?

It does depend on your personalities/ what people feel comfortable with and if he isn’t comfortable it would be dangerous to push it.

I taught my elder son to drive no problems but my younger one says he doesn’t want me teaching him as he thinks I will stress him out. It would be a lot cheaper for me to teach him (I’m paying for it all) but ultimately he doesn’t feel comfortable with me so that’s the end of it. Ive booked him an intensive course.

I don’t think you can insist your husband takes you out.

Sorry but this is quite a reach given the limited info we have.

My husband can’t drive but there isn’t a chance in hell I’d take him out.
Nothing to do with not wanting him to drive.

I took my husband out twice and that was enough , the second time we had a big row when he lost his rag after stalling at a junction and I told him to get out of the car and took over. He did pass and is great driving now - I can relax in the passenger seat

Perhaps suggest to your husband that you start off off the roads for example in a large car park or on an industrial estate in the evening when it’s quiet? He may feel more comfortable supervising you on the road if he can see you’re already a competent driver. Failing that do you have any friends who would sit with you?

I wouldn't push it if he isn't keen op.

Even when partners are willing, I've known couples to really fall out over it. It is stressful.

Someone I worked with said they ended up not talking all evening after every session together: he thought she was not listening and was stressed by her driving; she thought he was being unduly harsh.

It needs people suited to the job and you are both fighting about it before it has even happened!

I only went with my dh once that was more than enough for both of us. As a pp i also passed 1st time with only weekly lessons.

YABU, if he doesn’t feel comfortable supervising a learner then he shouldn’t do it. It’s not something I would want to do either.

I learnt to drive with weekly lessons. Went out with my dad once and my sister once. That was enough for me. Didn't even consider my dm because her temperament was incompatible with mine. Passed 1st time which seemed to surprise my dm.