Learning to drive is my husband bu

Personally, I think that you need to practice outside your lessons to be a confident driver. Where we live, you need to log a certain number of practice hours in order to take your test so I did hours of driving with DD (20) and DS (17). We practiced in empty car parks at first and then went out on the road, gradually building up from minor to major roads. I could really see the improvement with the practice.

Neorher of them liked practicing with DH though, he was too nervous! Can anyone else supervise you @lownessy?

You sound like a shit stirrer.
Making up things about other people that they haven't said.
Says all we need to know about you.

I hope op dont take your comment seriously.

He's uncomfortable with it he didnt say he didn't want her to drive.

If he’s not comfortable doing it then it’s not worth it. Where we live, new drivers need 120 hours logged before they can take their test so it’s very normal for parents to do the supervising. I’m a nervous passenger anyway, and refuse to get in the car with my DC until they have around 45 hours experience! It would be far too stressful for me and them. Luckily their dad is confident and has successfully taught 2 of them to drive (third due to start soon).

Ive known plenty of experienced drivers that have said the same as your husband.
One being my uncle he had been driving 30 odd year, said no to his kids and my auntie.

Another was my sister she learned via lesson, and said no way would she learn or be extra eyes on the road for a learner.

If someone says they are uncomfortable with something it means they are uncomfortable with it.

Plus he wont have any control of the car like a professional learner has.

my dad took me out once never again

if hes not comforatable doing it dont force him instructiors are trained your dh isnt

You can rent cars from Arnold Clark which are dual controlled which may help. I did that with my son. It was a few years ago now but wasn’t very expensive.

He didn't say he doesn't want her to drive, he said he doesn't feel comfortable teaching her to drive. I'm on his side, I wouldn't feel comfortable teaching someone to drive either

Good grief, what an assumption. The poor chap is probably scared and not confident in giving her extra practice. You have to have the confidence, correct attitude and anticipation skills. A lot of accidents occur in this type of scenario because the accompanying driver forgets that the learner might need advice and prompting. If both parties are comfortable it's useful but can be a complete disaster.

My first husband took me out on a practice drive. I made a minor error and missed a turn. He shouted at me so much I ended up pulling into a supermarket carpark, getting out of the car and refusing to get back in. Be careful what you wish for.

I had to do this with 3 kids - it’s the most stressful thing I’ve ever done! “Had to” because where I live learners have to keep a log book and get 80 hours of supervised driving before they can do their test. If that’s not a requirement where you are I can see why people refuse to take learners out.

As pp suggested, we started with car parks, then industrial estates on weekends, then quiet streets at weekends and worked our way up to busy streets at rush hour. Maybe you could discuss a structured approach like that with him?

I’m so glad those days are over!

Accompanying a learner driver without dual controls is scary.

I can see why he is now an ex!

This is a huge reach. Not everyone likes sitting with a learner (and by OP’s admission she needs the practice). The DH could certainly be more helpful but it doesn’t necessarily make him controlling!

Tbh I’m a later in life learner driver and I think it’s a tall order to sit in a car with a learner driver, in a normal car, when you aren’t a professional driving teacher with that extra awareness and it’s also a normal car without dual controls.

What terrible thing to say. How dare you try and cause problems in a marriage by saying something so horrible when you don't know anything about it.

Much more likely is he knows he isn't a good teacher and that would cause issues. I remember my dad trying to teach me and he was so stressed and angry it caused tension which was no fault of his because he was thrust into a role he wasn't suitable for. Teaching isn't an automatic skill.

In answer to the O.P practice with someone is good unless it would have a detrimental impact which your husband has wisley pointed out at the get go

one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in life was to take my daughter out in the car in between lessons. We had so many rows. I am nearly getting the stress as second child will need the same and the time is fast approaching.
I had to do it, I made it my mission to force myself to do it as

1. lessons are expensive
2. we are rural and my life changed for the better once she could drive I can see why the vote is 50/50. Lessons are expensive and you want to speed it up. If I was really rich there is no way I would sit in a car with an L driver.

I can understand him totally. Sitting in the car with a learner is a whole new level of terror and not everyone is cut out for it. So far I've Sat with 3 of my kids while they're learning and I white knuckle it the whole time.

It’s horrendous taking a learner out. I’ve done it with x3 ds over the years. All competent drivers who passed 1st or 2nd time, but you have no idea how being in the passenger seat with an unqualified driver and no dual controls gives you such a scary new perspective on spatial awareness! The tension in the car was palpable, and none of them asked more than a couple of times. Sorry boys…

Many years ago, when I was a teenager, my father refused to take me out when I was learning to drive. He said I made him a nervous wreck!

I was reminded of that when my own children were learning. I did let them practise with me after they had had a number of proper lessons with the instructor, but I didn’t enjoy it, and they weren’t always happy with my helpful suggestions or my body language!

My husband rarely drives and has lost a bit of confidence in doing so. A few years ago we agreed that he should drive on a particular long trip, to help get him back into practice. After about two miles I was feeling so uncomfortable as his passenger that I asked him to stop and we swapped over.

It may be frustrating but if your husband isn’t completely happy, it’s much better for both of you that he doesn’t take you out.

Yabu i wouldn't do this for anyone i don't have dual control and if anything happens it falls on the licenced driver. I would also find it incredibly stressful so would be a terrible teacher.

My ex took me out once .... I stopped the car and got out!

I took each of my 4 kids out when they were learning. Every. Single. Time. they needed to go somewhere. For months.

I still have nightmares now! I did it because them passing would make such a difference to my life. No bus route here and in the middle of nowhere, so every time they wanted to go to college or see friends, mum's taxi had to do it.

I don't blame your DP OP, it's not easy!

I took my sister out years ago but she hired the dual control car as i refused without pedals. Hard as i tried not to i couldn’t help braking as she was driving too fast a lot of the time. Once was enough for both of us 15 years later & she still drives too fast & i hate being in her car! Wouldn’t do it again

My DH couldn’t cope with his DF when he was practising or with our AC when they were practising, so I took them out. He gets too stressed. You don’t necessarily need your DH. Ask another qualified driver to go out with you.

Teaching someone or even just supervising someone to drive without dual controls can be insanely stressful and scary, for various reasons dh had to teach me to drive fully, no instructor and honestly it’s the closest we’ve ever come to potentially a divorce. I don’t think I could do it if the roles were reversed and be the supervising one. But how about broaching as pp have said, very quiet place driving with him, like practising manoeuvres in an empty carpark type thing and seeing if he’s open to working up from there

YABU and I think it was a little unfair of your instructor to suggest this.

You'll just have to be patient and await your test date. Many of us pass our test without having any practice time in between lessons.

Your husband is perfectly reasonable to have a boundary like this. Supervising a learner in a car is a big deal when you've no dual controls, I don't blame him for being uncomfortable with it.