Learning to drive is my husband bu

And what could possibly happen on a 3-minute drive to the shops?

Could you ask your instructor if dh could sit in the back for a lesson so he can see how competent you are?

If your driving instructor thinks you’re ready to go out with your h, then your driving must be at a certain level. But you can’t force him to take out out.

has he actually seen you drive?

Do you have any other friends it family you can practise with?

I think your husband sounds like a bit of a wet wipe, quite honestly. He isn't "teaching" you, he's just supervising your practice. Bleating about not feeling comfortable....honestly, in life we all have to do things that make us a bit uncomfortable, he is really being quite unreasonable about it. But it is what it is, so if there's really no other adult who can sit in the car with you while you practice, you'll just have to make do with your lessons. Im sure you'll be fine.

We did strart by talking our daughter to Sainsbury's car park on Sunday after it is closed so that DH might realise that it's not scarey...

I can't vote because I don't think either is unreasonable. It is horrible not to be able to practice between lessons when you really want to but if DH is genuinely scared to do it then that's not unreasonable either.

I did take my daughters out occasionally, I remember pushing my feet into the floor at times trying to brake ! It can be pretty scary.

My husband took me out once, we had an argument, we got out to change sides and he drove off and left me to walk home ! We laugh about it now, 35 years later !!
If someone is comfortable doing it it’s really not fair to force them to.

My daughter is due to take her test soon but I found it really stressful at first to supervise her. I’m Ok now she’s a confident driver but my DH was more relaxed when she was a total beginner. Her instructor told her to drive every time she was in the car so it is vital to practice between lessons. Perhaps you could ask him after you’ve 10 lessons as you are not a total beginner then? Good luck with learning to drive!

Am loving all the suggestions of practising in an empty car park.

It was after I (aged 17) hit a fence post in an empty car park that my father decided that enough was enough and he wouldn’t sit with me again!

Apparently I accelerated into it. Presumably I was trying to brake but got the wrong pedal.

Driving 22 years here; confident. I would not like to supervise a learner.

Reluctant supervisors can put you back in your driving efforts because if they are nervous this starts to impact on how you also respond to the road. I know two friends who ‘swapped husbands’ for the purposes of learning to drive because as couples both would end up either rowing or making the other one nervous. The dynamic of it being a friend seemed to work better than going out with their nearest and dearest - maybe it was the slight degree of separation. If he doesn’t want to do it then it’s best that he doesn’t. Do you have a friend who could help a bit? Maybe with a few weekend runs? I also wouldn’t take my toddler out as a learner, I just wouldn’t and I say that as someone who has been driving for 30 years this year.

Making the car move isn’t the danger, it’s dealing with hazards on the road and anticipating what other drivers are going to do etc which are learned skills you can’t get from the theory test or a handful of hours with an instructor.

@WelshRabBite Yes, that’s how I felt when my two were learning to drive. Driving alone is very different to driving with an instructor so I felt that they needed to have driving practice with a non- instructor. Otherwise, I’d have been terrified after they passed their tests!

Of course, I was still worried the first few times that they drove alone, but less so.

You can hire dual control cars for a couple of hours.
I bought a wee cheepo car and my dp took me out in that. I learned way more from my dp than instructor, I probably would'nt be driving just now if it wasn't for him but he was an excellent and calm tutor.

I didn’t have any practise sessions. My DD is learning and I’ve taken her out and it was pretty nerve wracking! Were in London and lots of ‘hazards’ and I’m not sure if I was the most calming passenger! If your DH feels uncomfortable I wouldn’t push it - many an argument been started doing this! Do you know anyone else who’d accompany you while you practice?

Very odd that he doesn't even want to try, if he is that nervous, he could start with you in an empty car park or something. If you say you are quite comfortable I think he is unreasonable to not give it a try. If then he realise that he just can't do it as he gets stressed or whatever fine.

I wasn't comfortable initially but was fine after my DCs instructor suggested they'd be ready for me or their dad to take them out.

My DC benefitted massively from the ton of extra experience they got driving with me and their dad (their dad mainly). My DH made them drive to sixth form and back through rush hour traffic everyday prior to taking their test, regardless of the weather. He was braver than me 😅

I think your DH would be being unreasonable not to take you out a bit when you are at a later stage in your learning.

My dad went out with my DB, but passed away before I started to learn. My mother like yours was a nightmare. She was a reluctant late learner and didn’t have the temperament for it. I subsequently took longer to pass but it was worth it in the end.

It can also depend on the learner. I taught two of my kids to drive and went out with them for practice. With my eldest DD I could NOT sit in with her. The other two were very confident but she was nervous and a tentative driver which just made my nerves worse and I had to stop.

If you haven't even taken your theory test yet, then you are probably at least five or six months away from actually taking a practical driving test. Perhaps when he knows you are test-ready he will feel different.

Whilst extra practice in a similar car to your instructors with a confident supervisor is certainly beneficial. There is definitely an argument that it can also be very damaging for your confidence if you go out with the wrong supervisor.

I have two daughters, one who has passed her test and one who is still learning. I supervised my elder daughter two or three times, it was horrifically stressful for both of us and did more to damage her confidence in her abilities than bolster it.

If he is not 100% on board with taking you out, then it shouldn't be mentioned again. Unless you have been in a car like a sitting duck with a learner driver then it is very difficult to convey just how stressful and vulnerable you feel.

Ya if he's not comfortable he'll make you nervous , is there anyone else who can sit in with you? When I was learning I got my sil to sit in with me to practice . Driving without the instructor is important for practice between lessons to build up your confidence

Dh went out in the car with me but was comfortable with it, if your dh is uncertain then he is not being unreasonable.

Ask your instructor if you can spend all or part of one lesson driving with no directions. Tell him you just want to drive around an area or to a Sainsburys.

I've just spent the last 6 months teaching DD to drive (alongside her lessons with an instructor), and it went fine, because DD accepted that she needed to do what I told her, didn't object to me grabbing the steering wheel when she was heading for a parked car etc.

A few years ago I tried to do the same for SIL. We made it two attempts before we agreed it was best she stick to learning with her instructor.

Some people just aren't cut out to teach a loved one to drive, and sometimes they are, but the relationship they have with each other isn't conducive to teaching them.

Obviously, being male, he's in the wrong! Maybe the OP isn't a good enough driver yet, maybe he feels insecure when she's driving. If the OP manages to bully him into doing something he's not comfortable doing then she's the one being unkind and unreasonable.

Some people are not good passengers, my late OH taught me to drive, back when the world was in black and white, he always said that I was a far better driver than he was but even then he wasn't a comfortable passenger, I would see his feet moving on imaginary brakes and clutch!

I wouldn’t supervise any learner driver. My DH barely likes being a passenger in the car with me now and I’ve been driving nearly 20 years, so I doubt he’d have wanted to supervise me as a learner.

What exactly is he uncomfortable about? What is he worried will happen?