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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that when I am Leader of the World

63 replies

Wheelskeepturning · 15/01/2026 18:27

There will be a special, horrible prison purely for people who...

  • park on double yellow lines or across someone's driveway (I don't care if it's just for 5 fucking minutes.)
  • drop litter, double sentence if it's in a park/countryside
  • don't pick up their dog 's poo
  • ha e a dog they can't control or doesn't have an instant recall if off a lead
  • Anyone who talks or is on their phone in a cinema or theatre

There are no second chances, straight to prison for a year for a first offence.

I don't care if IABU - don't forget I AM THE RULER OF THE WHOLE
WORLD

I am happy to add other crimes to my list if anyone has any ideas

This is (hopefully) obviously lighthearted and I know there are obviously many, many much worse crimes and those people will continue to go to prison.

OP posts:
Hollowvoice · 15/01/2026 18:41

Do they get a double sentence for parking on yellow lines and across a driveway at the same time?
If yes, you have my vote

Jiddles · 15/01/2026 18:40

Cold callers who ask how I am and wait for a reply.

Screamingabdabz · 15/01/2026 18:40

Oh can we add the three massive blokes that got out of a swanky BMW who’d parked in the closest parent and child space in Tesco the other day? The cunts did not give one shit. I was not brave enough to challenge them.

Xkk · 15/01/2026 18:38

Mymanyellow · 15/01/2026 18:32

People that get in the wrong lane at petrol station , and drag the hose round to the side where their filling cap is.

In what way does this incevenience you? I admire people who do that, I myself don't have the courage as I am afraid of the humiliation if it doesen't reach but majority of pumps have signage that say/show they can be used on both sides.

Thortour · 15/01/2026 18:38

People who say picky bits.

People who decide they don't want things in the supermarket so they just chuck them anywhere - especially cold things.

TheDandyLion · 15/01/2026 18:38

Mymanyellow · 15/01/2026 18:32

People that get in the wrong lane at petrol station , and drag the hose round to the side where their filling cap is.

No, the idiots who sit in the queue to wait for a pump on 'the right side' blocking the way of people behind when a pump comes free on 'their wrong side' cos they can't be arsed to pull the hose round.

SomedayIllBeSaturdayNight · 15/01/2026 18:35

Mymanyellow · 15/01/2026 18:32

People that get in the wrong lane at petrol station , and drag the hose round to the side where their filling cap is.

Nooooo! This is helpful and efficient, this should be rewarded in the new world order!

Original poster
Wheelskeepturning · 15/01/2026 18:35

Adding all the above to my list.

Come and join me @ScholesPanda 😁

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/01/2026 18:33

Mymanyellow · 15/01/2026 18:32

People that get in the wrong lane at petrol station , and drag the hose round to the side where their filling cap is.

Why is that bad? Surely that’s good, as that keeps the queue moving evenly?

Mymanyellow · 15/01/2026 18:32

People that get in the wrong lane at petrol station , and drag the hose round to the side where their filling cap is.

ScholesPanda · 15/01/2026 18:31

Can I come and live in your world please?

EveningSpread · 15/01/2026 18:30

We have a terrible dog poop problem in my town.

My preferred punishment for these people is the immediate appearance of the Dog Poo Police, who ban the person from ever owning a dog again. Oh and also take the dog round the corner and fire an unloaded gun so the owner thinks it’s been shot. But really of course it hasn’t. Bet that would stop ‘em.

There was a dog poo on my way to town that grew fur and became a fixture. I hate it so much.

randomchap · 15/01/2026 18:28

Starting threads and not coming back to answer questions.

Swipe left for the next trending thread