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Original poster

To not want toys brought into the lounge?

464 replies

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 17:19

So in context, our downstairs area is all open plan. There’s a smallish lounge, a dining room and then an orangery. The children’s toys and games are in the orangery and their bedrooms.

They both but especially my five year old keep bringing them into the lounge. I hate it. It’s mostly because the lounge is on the small side so quickly gets full, toys get trampled on, end up under the sofa and the TV unit. I end up skidding on toy cars and parts of tool boxes all the time.

I am trying to be quite firm about keeping toys in the orangery or bedrooms. Or is this just too uptight? It’s an ongoing battle keeping the house fairly tidy and I don’t do a bad job but it is a lot of work.

OP posts:
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5
myheadsjustmush · 15/01/2026 20:11

My children had a big playroom - but their toys always ended up in the lounge too. It is to be expected when you have children.

I used to put on a song and say "Lets see if we can tidy all the toys away before this song finishes" - that used to work quite well, and it was fun too!

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:10

DamsonGoldfinch · 15/01/2026 20:08

Ask the teacher what prompts and routines they use and then implement them at home. Your 5 yer old will respond and your younger child will be trained before they start school making them much less of a pain in the arse.

Younger child is fine, just does it, sometimes without even being prompted.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:10

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:04

I wonder if he has to have a bit more guidance? With one of mine I had to hold his hand and literally do tidying up together. It was a bit wearisome, and went on for ages, but it worked in the end (although his uni room was horrific!).

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I have tried. I worry about raising a boy (in particular) who thinks mummy does it all. But for whatever reason it seems to massively, hugely overwhelm him. Even something straightforward like ‘put the blocks back in the case’ - he starts getting very dramatic, insisting it will take ages, and often ends in tears, upset, drama, no matter how jovial and matter of fact you are about it. I had to conclude a while ago it just wasn’t working and I had to sort of weigh up the impact of me endlessly telling him to tidy up and leading to the upset or accepting that I needed to do it. I opted for the latter. I get it wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but for me it’s working.

Over Christmas the mess was difficult and so I had a big clear out of unused toys and games and books. The house felt a lot more manageable.

It really isn’t about poor children being kept away from the main family rooms. It’s just about having a bit of space where I’m not constantly picking things up. And it reduces the damage when things are trodden on too.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 15/01/2026 20:09

It’s marketing speak.

SayDoWhatNow · 15/01/2026 20:09

Tidying is a skill that can be learned but which some children find easier to pick up than others I think.

With my son (3.5y) you have to break it down and really support him to do it. So focusing on one part of the mess and doing it together. Even if that's just asking him where a particular toy goes, or to put a box of stuff that you have tidied back in its place. Or being in charge of putting the dice back in the box after a family board game.

DamsonGoldfinch · 15/01/2026 20:08

Ask the teacher what prompts and routines they use and then implement them at home. Your 5 yer old will respond and your younger child will be trained before they start school making them much less of a pain in the arse.

NotnowMildrid · 15/01/2026 20:08

Very uptight, and you’ll bring your children to be uptight too.
There are far important things in life than worrying about toys in the lounge. You should be glad your children want to be with you. Make the most of it, because it won’t necessarily last forever (particularly if you’re uptight).

TheMorgenmuffel · 15/01/2026 20:05

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:57

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

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Ignore them, they're just being twats for the sake of it.

godmum56 · 15/01/2026 20:04

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:51

It’s a really nice room. I’m often in there as well. The main reason I would prefer not to have toys in the lounge / dining area is because of heavy sofas and bookcases and TV unit that are a pain to pull out to rescue small toys.

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book case(s) and one sofa in the orangery?

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:04

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:02

No, he doesn’t. But thank you Smile

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I wonder if he has to have a bit more guidance? With one of mine I had to hold his hand and literally do tidying up together. It was a bit wearisome, and went on for ages, but it worked in the end (although his uni room was horrific!).

DuchessofStaffordshire · 15/01/2026 20:03

Ohpleeeease · 15/01/2026 17:36

You can’t have an orangery and a lounge in the same house. You must start calling your lounge the sitting room or drawing room. Or demolish the orangery.

Yes, anyone with an orangery would never have a lounge. They're only to be found in pubs and on cruise ships/ferries as my Grandmother would have it.

TheMorgenmuffel · 15/01/2026 20:03

QuietPiggy · 15/01/2026 19:50

I don't see how it qualifies as an orangery unless you grow, or plan to grow oranges in it.

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By that logic a conservatory cant be called that unless you're using it to grow plants in.
Because that was their original purpose.

GravyBoatWars · 15/01/2026 20:03

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:01

Yes. But then if he still doesn’t tidy up even with the consequence, then what?

And another consequence and another … and he still won’t.

There comes a point where like I say for our relationship and for my sanity I do have to say - this isn’t working.

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What specifically is he being asked to do when you ask him to "tidy up" right now and when/how often are you doing it?

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:02

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:01

Does he respond to rewards? eg all toys in their proper place by 6.15, then lots of praise and a reward?

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No, he doesn’t. But thank you Smile

OP posts:
PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:01

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:59

And if she won’t? That’s where I am. If he just did it after a reminder it wouldn’t be a problem but he just won’t, regardless of what you do to try to force the matter.

I don’t know whether ds possibly has some additional needs: it’s one of the things troubling me a bit at the moment, but whether he does or he doesn’t I have to parent in a way which works.

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Does he respond to rewards? eg all toys in their proper place by 6.15, then lots of praise and a reward?

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:01

jamandcustard · 15/01/2026 20:00

If he doesn't tidy up then you enforce some kind of consequence for not listening.

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Yes. But then if he still doesn’t tidy up even with the consequence, then what?

And another consequence and another … and he still won’t.

There comes a point where like I say for our relationship and for my sanity I do have to say - this isn’t working.

OP posts:
jamandcustard · 15/01/2026 20:00

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:59

And if she won’t? That’s where I am. If he just did it after a reminder it wouldn’t be a problem but he just won’t, regardless of what you do to try to force the matter.

I don’t know whether ds possibly has some additional needs: it’s one of the things troubling me a bit at the moment, but whether he does or he doesn’t I have to parent in a way which works.

Show quote history

If he doesn't tidy up then you enforce some kind of consequence for not listening.

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:00

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:57

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

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Just take the good advice, OP. Perhaps let them play in the lounge, but start being firm about tidying up.

Pineneedlesincarpet · 15/01/2026 20:00

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:57

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

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I was replying to the PP who said we were all "parochial".

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:59

Lulubo1 · 15/01/2026 19:53

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why the 5yo can't tidy up. We've made it clear to our 3yo that she has to tidy up when she's finished. Yes, we have to remind her and encourage her, but that's parenting. You don't back down on some things. Maybe I'm unreasonable here, but a 5yo is more than capable of tidying up. They do it at nursery/school

And if she won’t? That’s where I am. If he just did it after a reminder it wouldn’t be a problem but he just won’t, regardless of what you do to try to force the matter.

I don’t know whether ds possibly has some additional needs: it’s one of the things troubling me a bit at the moment, but whether he does or he doesn’t I have to parent in a way which works.

OP posts:
PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 19:58

TheEverlastingPorridge · 15/01/2026 19:44

😂

My aunt calls her that and it goes onto the patio - which she pronounces "pay-she-O"

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I just love that! I'm going to call mine that from now on.
Brilliant 👍

Allisnotlost1 · 15/01/2026 19:58

QuietPiggy · 15/01/2026 19:50

I don't see how it qualifies as an orangery unless you grow, or plan to grow oranges in it.

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It ‘qualifies’ because that’s what it’s called. Plenty of bathrooms without baths.

ETA: link for the hard of Googling https://www.lwrsol.co.uk/blog/orangery-vs-conservatory-whats-the-difference/

Loads of people with modern extensions and open plan homes have orangeries, they just don’t know what they’re called.

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:57

Pineneedlesincarpet · 15/01/2026 19:55

@CatsSleepFatandWalkThin

Ok Hyacinth.

Edited

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

OP posts:
PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 19:56

Lulubo1 · 15/01/2026 19:53

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why the 5yo can't tidy up. We've made it clear to our 3yo that she has to tidy up when she's finished. Yes, we have to remind her and encourage her, but that's parenting. You don't back down on some things. Maybe I'm unreasonable here, but a 5yo is more than capable of tidying up. They do it at nursery/school

I don't think you're unreasonable. Mine did it at that age, it becomes habitual.

Pineneedlesincarpet · 15/01/2026 19:55

@CatsSleepFatandWalkThin

Ok Hyacinth.