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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want toys brought into the lounge?

464 replies

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 17:19

So in context, our downstairs area is all open plan. There’s a smallish lounge, a dining room and then an orangery. The children’s toys and games are in the orangery and their bedrooms.

They both but especially my five year old keep bringing them into the lounge. I hate it. It’s mostly because the lounge is on the small side so quickly gets full, toys get trampled on, end up under the sofa and the TV unit. I end up skidding on toy cars and parts of tool boxes all the time.

I am trying to be quite firm about keeping toys in the orangery or bedrooms. Or is this just too uptight? It’s an ongoing battle keeping the house fairly tidy and I don’t do a bad job but it is a lot of work.

OP posts:
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Lowkey28 · 15/01/2026 20:28

This is a battle you will not win. Enjoy the toys, enjoy them having fun while they are small and play. Toys are always organised chaos, keeping all the bits of certain toys together just isn’t real life when they are small.

buy a nice box. Put it all in there at the end of the day

OriginalUsername2 · 15/01/2026 20:28

Why don’t people just google it and learn?

Awishcometrue · 15/01/2026 20:25

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 17:30

I think the main issue is that it ends up being odds and sods from the toy box, so a pair of pliers from DS’s tool box or a few stray blocks. That’s what annoys me to be honest. Then they end up lost. I’m just trying to keep everything in order. I had a massive clear out just after Christmas and things are a lot more manageable now but it’s still a battle.

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With young children this is virtually impossible! They are playing with toys things are always going to get mixed up, how old are you children? I have twin 3 yr olds, I do a 'reset' of play room 2/3 a week but as soon as everything is in order they just pull it all back out...completely normal for young children, as long as they know how to put things away, they might not do as you ask now but eventually they will

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:25

Hufflemuff · 15/01/2026 20:23

Where do you sit? If youre sitting in the living room and theyre in "orangery 🙄" then YABU. The kids want to be near to you, not shoved out to another room.

They aren’t, they can come and go as they wish. And I am regularly commanded to ‘sit there’ by youngest anyway. I’m just asking for them not to take toys out and leave them all over the house, really.

OP posts:
Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:24

tommyhoundmum · 15/01/2026 20:22

What is it that makes them different from conservatories then I wonder?

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Quite a lot of people have explained this on the thread, if you’re interested. If you’re not interested but want to make snarky remarks - I am not interested.

OP posts:
Hufflemuff · 15/01/2026 20:23

Where do you sit? If youre sitting in the living room and theyre in "orangery 🙄" then YABU. The kids want to be near to you, not shoved out to another room.

tommyhoundmum · 15/01/2026 20:22

GregoryMcGregor · 15/01/2026 20:19

Google shows lots of orangeries with glass roofs.

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What is it that makes them different from conservatories then I wonder?

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:21

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:20

Perhaps he's not quite ready for it. it's counter productive if he's overwhelmed and stressed. You may need to just do the tidying yourself for a while, with the occasional clear out.

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This is largely my view at the moment. There does come a point where I think you just have to go with what works and with what feels comfortable to you as a parent.

@Lovesacake he tends to roam around a fair bit, which is fine but he does leave a mess strewn in his wake.

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 15/01/2026 20:21

YABU, it’s what kids do and he’s very little still.

It won’t be forever, and it’s not a huge hassle to just chuck everything back in the playroom at the end of the day or whenever doable.

Bunnycat101 · 15/01/2026 20:21

Some people are very ordered and need their environment to be that way to be happy. Children generally aren’t that way inclined: they mix their toys up, plays with things in different ways to you’d expect etc. I’ve got one of the wooden pizzas the OP mentioned and I haven’t got a clue where the topping pieces are an it doesn’t bother me. I suspect the OP is going to have to work on letting go a bit as her children get older and you need to let them be a bit freer.

I’m relatively chilled out but reach a point where mess makes me feel quite on edge. The OP obviously hits that point quite quickly.

WatalotIgot · 15/01/2026 20:20

If you have hard flooring perhaps using a toy broom to sweep all the toys together might be a game for him.

PatriciaRocks · 15/01/2026 20:20

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:10

I have tried. I worry about raising a boy (in particular) who thinks mummy does it all. But for whatever reason it seems to massively, hugely overwhelm him. Even something straightforward like ‘put the blocks back in the case’ - he starts getting very dramatic, insisting it will take ages, and often ends in tears, upset, drama, no matter how jovial and matter of fact you are about it. I had to conclude a while ago it just wasn’t working and I had to sort of weigh up the impact of me endlessly telling him to tidy up and leading to the upset or accepting that I needed to do it. I opted for the latter. I get it wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but for me it’s working.

Over Christmas the mess was difficult and so I had a big clear out of unused toys and games and books. The house felt a lot more manageable.

It really isn’t about poor children being kept away from the main family rooms. It’s just about having a bit of space where I’m not constantly picking things up. And it reduces the damage when things are trodden on too.

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Perhaps he's not quite ready for it. it's counter productive if he's overwhelmed and stressed. You may need to just do the tidying yourself for a while, with the occasional clear out.

Lovesacake · 15/01/2026 20:19

What happens if you don’t sit in the lounge (until after he’s in bed)? If you spend your time in the orangery does he still go through to the lounge?

GregoryMcGregor · 15/01/2026 20:19

tommyhoundmum · 15/01/2026 20:12

It is an orangery if it has a proper roof as opposed to a glass or perspex one. My kitchen became one and it's no colder than anywhere else in the flat.

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Google shows lots of orangeries with glass roofs.

NavigatingMyLife · 15/01/2026 20:18

We used to call the pub the theatre. I’m now calling my conservatory the orangery. But as others have said defo get a big toy chest to chuck everything in at the end of the day. Kids should be able to play everywhere but likewise your house doesn’t need to look like a branch of ToysRus.

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:18

jamandcustard · 15/01/2026 20:18

So it sounds like the pressure of having to do is what he doesn't like.

Will he tidy up with you?

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No

OP posts:
jamandcustard · 15/01/2026 20:18

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:16

I have tried the song, the countdown timer on the Yoto player, they just don’t work for ds. For whatever reason it is something he just seems to get a bit … odd about, for want of a better word.

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So it sounds like the pressure of having to do is what he doesn't like.

Will he tidy up with you?

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:18

CypressGrove · 15/01/2026 20:17

Not understanding why pieces of toys get lost in the lounge but not in the orangey?

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There isn’t as much furniture in the orangery and it’s bigger.

OP posts:
CypressGrove · 15/01/2026 20:17

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 17:56

Didn’t you find toys with small pieces got lost, though? One of DDs favourite toys is a dolls house and she’d be upset if parts to it got lost.

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Not understanding why pieces of toys get lost in the lounge but not in the orangey?

Original poster
ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:16

myheadsjustmush · 15/01/2026 20:11

My children had a big playroom - but their toys always ended up in the lounge too. It is to be expected when you have children.

I used to put on a song and say "Lets see if we can tidy all the toys away before this song finishes" - that used to work quite well, and it was fun too!

I have tried the song, the countdown timer on the Yoto player, they just don’t work for ds. For whatever reason it is something he just seems to get a bit … odd about, for want of a better word.

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 15/01/2026 20:15

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 19:57

I’m not even remotely like hyacinth. I couldn’t give a stuff what the room is called. I couldn’t have called it a conservatory but … it isn’t 🤷‍♀️ I don’t care; I’m an ordinary person, I work, I’m nothing special and I’m not trying to make out I am.

To be honest the endless ‘biting, cutting’ comments are a bit upsetting. I’m probably being a bit sensitive I know: had a shocking night last night with one child up half the night with an ear infection and various minor in the scheme of things but inconveniences today have me a bit more sensitive than normal, but I have asked nicely a few times now if we could maybe move on.

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Ignore the twats OP. They are just sad idiots that get a kick out of putting people down. All they are really doing is showing themselves up.

WatalotIgot · 15/01/2026 20:12

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 18:26

It takes a long, long time. I find toys everywhere: under sofas and rugs and other furnishings, in the downstairs toilet (not actually IN the toilet!) - it’s also easy to stand on them and break them.

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We used to find toys occasionally in the toilet! DS used to like seeing what happened when flushed. He did it to DH's watch: only once though. I didn't want toys to go upstairs/into bedrooms as nothing good comes out of silence during the day where children are concerned!

jamandcustard · 15/01/2026 20:12

ohnononofenton · 15/01/2026 20:01

Yes. But then if he still doesn’t tidy up even with the consequence, then what?

And another consequence and another … and he still won’t.

There comes a point where like I say for our relationship and for my sanity I do have to say - this isn’t working.

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What consequences are you using?

tommyhoundmum · 15/01/2026 20:12

FuzzyPuffling · 15/01/2026 17:23

YABU for using the term "orangery" unless you live in Chatsworth House.

If it's like a conservatory, it's probably bloody freezing at this time of year, and of course your kids would prefer to be around family than in their bedrooms. They'll eventually grow out if it.

It is an orangery if it has a proper roof as opposed to a glass or perspex one. My kitchen became one and it's no colder than anywhere else in the flat.

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