To not want toys brought into the lounge?

OP I keep asking and you don't answer, why not move some of your furniture into the orangery?

I used to have 1 tub of toys in living room and would put key toys they played with in tub but like you expected mostly toys in the bedroom. I didn’t get up tight about toys in living room as long as they were put right away. Now I have a kitten she had toys in all rooms and my kids tell me I’m making a mess lol

...and then they're gone, and you comfort them and remind why you asked them to tidy in the first place; not to be mean, but to make sure they can carry on playing with the things they like. Losing a toy is not the end of the world, it sounds like you have a lovely home with a decent amount of space and income, so they will have plenty of toys. If they really want something back that's disappeared, then they need to prove they can look after their toys before you replace them.

If it gets to a point where certain toys are too often getting lost/broken, then readjust your expectations and don't buy those toys for them again until they're a bit older.

If they ask for them before you think they're ready, then work on skills that help them keep those toys together and tidy.

A bit like how using play dough helps with handwriting.

Of course it is. Just chuck everything into the tub, and then all the bits are together in the tub. Who cares if the kid needs to spend a couple of minutes digging through to find 2 bits of their hotwheels set, or if one bit finds it's way under the sofa?

The alternative is you carry on constantly nagging a 5 year old and dealing with the fallout of that. Just take the easy route.

They probably want to play where you are, that’s understandable.

I agree.

oh it doesn't last forever op.

Let them play and enjoy themselves - it's a sign of good parenting! at least they aren't on ipads the whole time.

Definitely, but organising them perfectly every night is too much and nobody does this!

Chuck it all in one 'crap basket' of toy minestrone and organise it back into it's rightful place once a week/every few weeks for them, when YOU want to. If they're kicking off for a piece of something in the meantime, they can check the basket themselves.

There's got to be a balance between teaching them life skills and responsibility, and indulging their play.

There are natural consequences to not taking care of your stuff. It gets lost, it gets broken, etc.

The crap basket is a very gentle way of doing that.

And if they've not touched something in the crap basket for months, then it's obviously time for that to find a new home ☺️

I know this has already been said but kids make mess, because they are kids and their brains don't work the same way as adults.

They want to play with their toys, and they want do to it close to their parents. They don't want to have to disappear off to a seperate room for controlled, contained play.

With the best will in the world, if you have kids you have to accept that your house is no longer entirely yours.

There is a very, very easy solution anyway. Buy a big plastic tub. At the end of the day, chuck all the toys into said tub. It will take literally 5 minutes.

Another thought.. are all of the toys stored in the sun room, where he can access everything? Because I find that makes it hard for tidying if they can get into every single toy they own at once.. we have some in the lounge and some in the family room, but we rotate what is out so that it's not everything at once- e.g currently there is a box of duplo in the family room, and a train set and some trucks and car tracks in the lounge. But everything else is organized in the toy closet. Then it's easy to pack up because it's not a mix of everything,and the other toys are packed away in the toy closet and swapped out when they want something different.

I used to ask mine in they wanted to do x or y.

Do you want to put those toys back in the box or these toys back in your room worked better than saying tidy up.
It meant I did half the tidying of course but it was a start

I am a very tidy person but my 3.5 year old son is allowed to play wherever he fancies! He's exploring and each room is different. If he plays cars the hallway has hard floors so is best, he drives his massive mini cooper in a big loop around the whole downstairs, he parks trams in my kitchen, my living room always has a massive train track set up in it and he rarely plays in the actual playroom! I actually love finding his toys and seeing all the new ways he decides to play; tonight he came in from nursery and was rolling a massive roll of tape down the hallway 😂

It takes me maybe 20 minutes maximum to tidy up even after a crazy playdate. What's your storage like? Is it just split into categories like small vehicles or is it very specific? Would a toy rotation help so there's less available but they can play where they want?

My 5yo resists tidying too but if I do a "deal" with him, e.g. I'll put away the Lego if you put away the cars, he will usually do at least some. For him it seems he feels it's "unfair" if he has to do it by himself (even though he makes the messes himself!) so doing it together makes it feel fairer to him. I also sometimes resort to cutting down on story time if there's absolute refusal to tidy, because as a natural consequence of having to tidy myself, I'll have less time to read with him before bed. I don't ever leave tidying till after bedtime, my evening is sacred!

That's a bit like saying kids can survive on Sunny D and jam on toast, and that they're just as good as more nutritious and scientifically more beneficial options.

Fair point.
Its all the other jabs about it that are cuntastic. And they're still piling on. Its ridiculous.

I found toys SO much less stressful to tidy than bits of food trodden in to the rug,or socks thrown behind the TV

Our living room still has a pile of toys,paints,felt tips,paper etc. Not a childfree zone at all and my kids are much older (9 and 13). Still used frequently :)

When they do have device time,they're literally 2 feet away from me so I can catch anything I don't like. Not me pushing,but they prefer to sit/play/draw/watch with company.

Not all sunshine and rainbows,I do wish sometimes for a bit of P and Q but also kinda pleased they want to be with us.

I just got the butler to tidy them away, seriously though I think it is childrens house too and no I would never ban toys from anywhere they can learn to tidy as they grow but I never banned anything other than dont touch that it is dangerous type thing

Blimey, we live in a small cottage and have one room that functions as living room, dining room, play room (and orangery). Loosen up!

We had a select few toys in the living room in a toy box. Four kids here so a couple of toys for each of them, plus some 'communal' toys. Anything else was in their bedrooms. The toys were regularly rotated so the ones in the living room didn't get tiresome. I found they just wanted to play wherever I was, so telling them to stay in another room if they wanted to play with toys seemed unfair.
I should add that my middle two are both neurodiverse so it wasn't always easy to implement, especially the tidying up!