To not want toys brought into the lounge?

They will grow up and only have screens before you know it. Just let it go.

Or "go and pass me that can of Tenant's Special in the orangery, doll" 🤣🤣

What’s an orangery?

I think you have to reframe the process. You’re not nagging, you’re teaching him to tidy. It takes a long time. Just like when you keep getting them to do their reading every night, and they might wail “I caaaaaan’t!”

You don’t give up on the reading and do it yourself, just because the process is hard. You push on, because it’s important.

Teaching them to tidy up is the same. Little and often, little and often. Slowly they get better at it. They’ll still fling their arms around sometimes, and cry, and complain, but that’s how children operate. They’re also learning to follow instructions, and how to function in society. Keeping on at him won’t damage your relationship, don’t worry. He needs you to be the parent.

And yes it’s exhausting, it’s all exhausting, we’ve all been there. Have a cup of tea ☕️ and try to accept your house will be a bit messy and you’ll be a bit frazzled for a few years, but you’ll get there.

Why on earth are people being twats about the orangery?
They exist. It's ok to call an orangery an orangery.

I had 3 children very close together. So I had 3 under 4's, 3 under 5's etc. Keeping toys out of the living room wasn't an option as I needed to be there to supervise them whilst BFing my new baby. We didn't have the luxury of a playroom or orangery. Even if we did, with so many young children, I needed to keep them 'corralled' where I could keep an eye on them.

DH was working long hours developing his catering business in a local seaside town which grew to be 3 restaurants & 2 dish & chip shops. He worked long hours & I worked P/T as a Civil Servant - I often wonder how we did it. Especially once the DCs were aged from 6+ & I'd take them with me in the busy summer evenings to watch TV/videos in the flat above the main restaurant after I'd finished work, having dealt with DC's activities & went to help him out in the restaurant. I was exhausted most of he time.

What I had was have plastic toy bins & made a game of everyone putting the toys into the bins before bathtime. Then the bins went away to be brought out next day. I would make it a game/competition how quickly can we clear the toys tonight? We'd keep a record so that when daddy came home he could see that we beat the previous night's record. There was always a treat for after the toys were cleared away - may be to chose a chocolate from a box, an ice cream from the freezer whatever.

Edited to typos - apologies if I've missed some.

It’s interesting that you cite your 5yo as wailing that tidying takes aaaaages, but in your reply to me you did exactly the same thing! You’re supposed to be the adult here. You bite the bullet and insist on tidy-up time. It’s not optional. That’s how your kids grow up knowing that a bit of mess in a family home isn’t a crisis.

Why are you doing the tidying? Why does it take two hours? My DC have their tea at 5pm, at 4.30 pm the TV is paused or muted and it’s tidy up time - nobody gets their tea (it can be kept warm in the oven) until everything is put away (that includes the spanner from a tool set, a Playmobil fireman from the fire station in the bedroom, bits of Lego etc).

To be fair you normally see ‘orangeries’ in stately homes which were fashionable during the time of colonialism to specifically grow tropical and Mediterranean plants like orange trees. Some bit added on to the side of a new build is not an orangery unless you’re growing oranges in it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My friend bought a house with an orangery. It was a brick built place, proper roof and delightful windows that were rectangle but had arch shaped struts. Very pretty indeed, I the plebeian scum that I am have a conservatory.

As an aside pineapples were grown in places like this is stately homes and they were such a status symbol they were sometimes rented out for centrepieces to the aspiring middle classes who couldn’t afford an orangery or staff. No they were not called pinapplerys.

I traditionally hate mess and I do this too. It’s just for now. I’m glad there are toys there, they’re DDs and I’m grateful for her!

Aw I’m just like you OP, I hate mess and clutter. But your kids just want to be part of family life and near you, I think just do your best with the mess it won’t last forever.

One of the main things I have learned is that the best way to keep a tidy home is to work with not against how you all use the house.

So for example, my kids laundry baskets used to be up in their rooms which just didn't work when they moved to showers because they shower downstairs. Yes in principle they could take their dirty clothes upstairs to their laundry basket upstairs but in practice they didn't and it was a lot tidier overall when I just put a laundry basket downstairs.

You can carry on trying to insist that toys go upstairs or in the orangerie or whatever but it's clearly counter flow for your household and will always frustrate you.

Either make some space for toys in your lounge or put a sofa in your orangerie so you sit there more. But a 5 year old is just going to want to be with you

So very middle class.....Assuming the OP isn't actually living in the Big House of course.

No. Thats not what an orangery is.

Yes, you sound really uptight.

We only have a lounge and a kitchen. So I just keep a lid on the quantities of toys and tidy them away frequently.

I’d love a bit more space, but we love our house too and don’t want a bigger mortgage/bills!

I’d let them bring some toys in. When I’m overwhelmed with toys in the house I just think to myself in 10 years there won’t be any toys.

Make tidying a game like i said in previous post kids love it

Google will tell you what an orangery is.

It's affected. Sorry. So very Hyacinth.

You're just describing life with small children, OP.

Either you spend your free time tidying it up, you nag, or you relax. There isn't really another solution.

@Didimum

I wouldn't be too smug ladies...

Key Differences Summarized

• Roof: Orangery (lantern), Sunroom (glass), Garden Room (tiled).
• Walls: Orangery (brick/pillars), Sunroom (fully glazed), Garden Room (semi-glazed brick/modern materials).
• Integration: Orangery/Sunroom (attached), Garden Room (can be detached).

@Irishcharmer An Orangerie is different to a conservatory, it has a solid roof, we have one. It's easier to heat too. Look it up, most houses can have one.