FIL pissed me of

It's two different issues really I think. Your FIL won't help you and your DH needs to stop doing favours for him if it being all one way pisses you off. You aren't being unreasonable reasonable there.
Your DD being unable to get to football is just the latest thing that he's not willing to do.

I have a similar age gap with my younger sister and at 17 I would definitely have helped out to get her to a football match. I'd have offered to go with her. She wouldn't have fancied going with the coach and a random other adult. That is, unless I was utterly sick of her football for some reason, like if it always dictated family weekends. So I don't think it's at all unreasonable of posters to suggest your 17 might help and I don't get why you are so cross about it.

You really need to stop saying 'we' when referring to the whole of Ireland.
Yes kids in Ireland get trains to school. And they get taxis to school.
You must live in a bubble.

By any chance do you keep your house sparkling clean @Shakeyshakeybaby and had a very very big wedding?

Sorry, am only a third through the thread and it may have been mentioned but could she maybe get a taxi to one of her new teammates' houses and then get a lift from there? I know she doesn't know them yet, but she soon will and will need to. My weekends revolve around my DS's sport so I do get that it is important. Or, I would just risk the BIL.

i would rather they spent time with their grandmother then running the streets ,

so in your world it’s spend time with granny or run riot on the streets?

Guessing your two eldest don’t get on

Otherwise most 17 yrs olds would be fine sitting in clubhouse for a couple of hours whilst their sibling plays their first match for a new team

Why ?

And the poor woman is pretty immobile herself as she’s recovering from an operation

Next time fil asks for a favour say no you’re going to Lidl.

Where did you get watch from? Did you miss the part where the grandparents live THREE mins away and the OP has asked the grandmother to STAY TWO NIGHTS with three teens?

Its controlling and its ridiculous.

Why not?

I dont think asking a grandparent to "watch" teens whist their parent have 2 nights away when they've never done so in 17 years is unreasonable or not understandable tbh.
That the grandparent wouldnt want to, is not understandable unless they are ill or infirm.
That a grand parent would rather go to Lidl than spend time with their grand child is really sad for everyone concerned.
Imagine the teens thinking my grandad would rather go to lidl than spend time with me......
I also worry about the next time the Grandfather need help....

@Shakeyshakeybaby
I wouldn't expect my 17 year old to stand in the cold for two hours. Where we live nobody would ever put their 16 year old in a taxi to attend a football match. BIL would do it but yes he is unreliable and I couldn't risk him not turning up.

You really do have a problem with control don't you?
I agree with other pps that you are babying your teenagers. This is rightfully your 16yo's issue to solve:

• maybe she could bribe her sister to take on the (ackowledgely unpleasant) task of taking her to the match; or offer to do something for her at a later date
• maybe she could get on her big girl pants and brave the taxi ride on her own (tbh it is a bit pathetic that she wants to drag her sister out for the entire afternoon just because she's nervous about going in a taxi on her own)
• maybe she could talk to her uncle (I mean the "unreliable BIL") directly and beg him to help her - and make her own assessment as to whether he will step up or let her down
• maybe she could talk to he coach about it (rather than you)

The point is that you are massively failing to teach your children to stand on their own 2 feet and to resolve issues when things go unexpectedly wrong. These are important life skills they need to learn so that they will be able to cope when they go away to university (or work) in only a couple of years' time.

After reading your replies the only options are you cancel your trip and take DD or she doesn't go.

If she was scouted you could ask the coach or whoever is in charge if they could give her a lift?

Arn't your three children old enough to look after themselves?

Do you have a friend who would step to take her as a one off?

She's probably in 5th or 6th year. Kids her age have part-time jobs, look after elderly relatives, and act like responsible human beings.
You are delighted when people agree with you about how 'impossible' things are. Thats exactly the attitude your FIL has. Well done on rearing kids in a similar fashion.

Theyre teens now. You could have built an excellent relationship with a babysitter over the years and now they’re at the age where you could safely leave them overnight alone in the house together.

Tell the team it's too short notice for you to make arrangements for this game as you have other plans already in place. Unless they can help somehow with a lift she will not be starting this week but will start from the next game

I voted YABU.

Not because I think your FIL is reasonable, he sounds like an ass hat. But because you knew he wasn't going to do it, yet you've decided to be completely reliant on him.

MiL has dodgy leg and can't drive
Taxis, trains and buses aren't the done thing where you are
You have no friends
Daughter has no friends
Sister can't do it because reasons
Brother is as reliable as a chocolate fireguard

So your answer to all this is 'I'll rely on someone who has already made it clear they will not do this sort of thing.' I find that unreasonable.

It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with the fil being a man.

I’m a woman and I couldn’t care less about watching football, but I like watching my children play.

Lots of grandparents go to some of the football matches to support the children.