FIL pissed me of

Im
not sure if that’s a genuine question?

If someone lives in a culturally different, often discriminated, minority - you don’t think it’s relevant to say so others can answer in a way that might be more appropriate? Or alternatively not reply as we don’t have experience of her lifestyle?

Thank you for your message. Obviously I missed that. You

I would be beyond disappointed if my 17 year old wouldn't just do this one nice thing, considering her parents haven't been away together since she was born.

I 100% would've done it for my parents and I think many 17 year olds would do the same.

And yet you say you don't blame her?

Your expectations are quite low here.

I'm shocked by the replies you have gotten. Yes your fil is inconsiderate and your bil will have to step up. It's very unlucky timing but a great opportunity. It is a shame you won't get to see her play.

Can people take a moment to realise that there are places that don't have taxis or cabs or uber available on every corner of every road and that it would not be okay to send a 16 yr old girl on a long day trip with a complete random taxi driver. Football pitches and clubs can be miles away from towns and a car is needed.

Maybe read a thread when it's been running for a while before posting such an obvious idea 💡 that's probably been thought of before. At least if you read the OP's updates you'd know that she (eventually!) did contact the coach.

Maybe fil genuinely thinks the dc need to grow up....

Literally NONE of them are adults.

Why should op have to tell you though?
Why can’t you imagine that others may live differently to you without it having to be spelled out?

Why does your DH do all these favours for FIL who never ever reciprocates? I hope that he will refuse to help him from now on.

Odd all round.
Be wary of your FIL as he ages. I suspect he may become a problem.

If there are coffee shops as you said your 17 year old would not need to stand in cold they can go to one of them

Hey OP , no advice just some solidarity ! I’m guessing you are Irish due to writing style(as am I) you are getting a lot of narky comments unfairly in my opinion. It’s hard for people who don’t live in Ireland to understand how utterly useless rural public transport can be …non existent in most cases .
The village I come from has one taxi driver and you have to book him about four days in advance if you require him. I had to share his taxi with a greyhound many years ago !!! In most country areas you need transport to get to the public transport .

That one wasn't rude

I sometimes don’t get this forum - if OPs post was instead ranting about the 17DD refusing to take her sister, everyone would be up in arms and accusing OP of parentification. It would be nice if one sister would help another, but you can’t force them too, not in this type of situation.

OP, FIL is a selfish jackass and a very CFer! Please take petty revenge, like no more favours and sabotaging his takeaway with an accidental ingredient maybe some hot chilli !!

You could have done that 11 pages ago.

@Moveoverdarlin but would you send a 16yo with their 17yo sister? Some taxi companies you can request a lady driver if unaccompanied females can’t have male driver

Glad you’ve got it sorted OP. The FIL sounds a spiteful man. And I agree with everything you have said. So many people on here think everything is walkable or there’s a bus stop on every street. No Way would I send my DD16 in a taxi on her own.

They’re not babied, but they don’t live in a city or a suburban town, so we drive everywhere.

OP I also think you've had unnecessary flak on this thread

FIL sounds a twat

I'd be tempted to reply to him with a bit of pass agg 'that's a shame. Glad you get to make use of the takeaway'

I get that people can like their routines but sheesh, suck it up and show your granddaughter you care

Hope you have a lovely weekend away

X

FFS, yet another MN pile-on!!
OP, sorry you're getting all this grief. Really hope your bil can step up reliably.

So she does know her coach and teammates? Try talking to the coach who she obviously knows having trained twice. They may be able to make some arrangements. Seems like you just keep making excuses just because you’ve got a downer on your fil

Why are people being so unkind to this poster, why do people have to get so nit-picky and start tearing posters to bits when the poster obviously has a really happy family unit.
It seems that every time this happens someone has to come along and start being sarcastic, is it because they can’t bear to think that some people are actually happy.

Yes I see now.

Would have saved so much aggro and confusion if she had stated from the beginning that her DDs can't take taxis on their own with unknown men due to cultural reasons as they are from the travelling community, rather than some insane BS about how kids in "my country" don't do that in general.

If I was your DH he should ask again and say ‘Dad, you know Emily’s soccer is a big deal now? She’s exceptional at it. Are you sure you can’t put off Lidl and take her? It’s a bloody sad state of affairs when we’re now looking in to taxi firms to take her. God knows who she could end up alone in the car with. She’s a 16 year old girl Dad! You’d rather we did that than her Grandad take her? Jesus. Anyway how is that Internet / Car / DIY problem that I sorted out the other day for you?

Perfect, sounds like a nice bonding activity for DD and her uncle.
I would be remembering this situation the next time FIL wants a favour.
Enjoy your holiday!

Honestly you are raising children to be incompetent adults.
A 16 year old who cannot get a taxi alone is actually ridiculous. It doesnt really matter who she is playing for, like you keep reiterating, it's a one off!!!!