FIL pissed me of

She could not go for that one day.

The op said they're accessed by car, the DD doesn't drive.

Why can’t 17 year old go in the ‘lovely coffee shop’

Youre not accepting any alternatives. Taxi is obvious. DD will have yo be uncomfortable once.

I'm shocked with the replies. From the OP, I read this as being Ireland too.

Kids here don't leave secondary school until 18/19, so at 16, is still very young.

Getting taxis at that age is not the norm at all. Outside of urban areas, it's very difficult to get taxis. There is also the safety aspect to consider. There have been a number of high profile issues in the past which has most likely influenced parents on this. No way would I send my 16 yr daughter off on her own in a taxi (we're rural) if I didn't know the driver/company.

Driving at 17 isn't the norm either. There are mandorary sets of trainings required, long test waits, high insurance costs which has impacted. Learner drivers can't drive without a licensed driver (not sure if that's same in UK).

The football/ soccer setup at that level here, means players do need to travel distances. Pitches are often very remote with little to no facilities around (clubhouse, tea, coffee). The idea of getting public transport to these locations is laughable. Outside of main cities, there isn't that infrastructure here.

Hope you get sorted OP 💐

Have you got a best mate that would take her? I’d do that for my friend and her child

Some of the posters on these threads will just argue the opposite of what the OP says. It’s not you OP. Perfectly reasonable to be annoyed your FIL is refusing to help when he is barely asked because he can’t go to Lidl at a different time. Nothing wrong with Granny coming and spending time with your kids whilst you’re away. That’s what they asked for and i’d enjoy my holiday a lot more knowing someone was there overnight.

My DD is 17 and she hates getting a taxi and before 2 days ago when the car broke before a mock, has said she would rather miss school than go in a taxi. She has flown to south east asia on her own, so isn’t mollycoddled or treated like a baby, but is just nervous of this. Hopefully now she’s done it once?

Glad your BIL has agreed to help.

Your FIL sounds horrible

I’d pay/bribe the 17 year old to go with her in a taxi or at least have this as a back up if your brother is unreliable

Not rude at all, in what way rude? Did she call OP names? Was she sarcastic, condescending, snappy? No. The child needs to be more independent, the poster is right. This situation would be a good occasion for the child to get out of their comfort zone and either call herslef the coach she can't make it or take a taxi. She is just one year away from adulthood, how would she manage in the big wide world? People her age commute to jobs and for education.

If you're in Ireland then the public transport is totally understandable, sometimes even Irish people don't get how limited it is in different counties. I have the pick of buses, train, dart, taxis etc my sister in the next county has one bus an hour walk to it and it's every hour, no taxis, she can pre book one 2 days in advance if needed.

That distance even if your DD could get a taxi would adding in Sunday rate premium and pre book approx 60.00 - 75.00 euro one way. Quite expensive !

Some counties really are limited with public transport.

While children here do use it, it wouldn't be like the UK where they are doing it from a young age. Many country schools have private buses, many schools across Ireland are local and can be walked to or parents drive them.

While my now adult children have used every type of transport, it wouldn't have been common getting taxis from one county to another, it's too expensive for one.

We definitely have a different way of living regarding travel and our public transport is dire !

Good that your bil is taking her, give him a ring when he's supposed to be up and ready to go collect her. It will be good to have someone with her she knows, she'll need to be relaxed and not stressing over buses and taxis.

I do not understand why she can't go with her older sister in a taxi. The sister can sit in a coffee shop (paid for by mum and dad) with her laptop and do homework or watch crap on Netflix while the younger girl plays.

Could a sibling go with her in the taxi , with some cash for coffee shop/shopping as a reward ?

What are you hoping to achieve OP ?
He said no-move on and find another solution or she misses the match end of no?

Yes both the young adult and the mature adult equally selfish and useless

Why on earth not as it’s very important for their sibling? If they refuse as just don’t fancy it or have something better to do surely no better than your FIL no?

@Shakeyshakeybaby

You are asking someone to give you something that they are not willing to give.

You need to accept that and plan and act accordingly.

FIL is NOT going to help you with this. Focus on a plan that does not involve him.

Then think about how much you are willing to do for him going forward.

Jesus if she is in Ireland and lives rurally every single teen as soon as turn 17 start taking driving lesson. Everyone ! you want to see the amount of cars parked outside secondary schools. I do know now though all learners must have a full licence driver with them. But you can not live in Ireland countryside without knowing how to drive
but still if live ruarally and into sports well used to getting lifts busses etc to sports events - you get used to that living in the country 🤣 there is always someone who knows someone who is going somewhat that direction 😝

I think it’s one of those posts where we can say anything or make any suggestion, but all OP really wants is for posters to agree that yes, FIL is an arsehole

I despair for the future, if there are some young people for whom working out the logistics of a 15 mile journey without their parents is insurmountable.

Can’t believe some of the responses on here.

OP - no! You’re not being unreasonable. He’s being selfish beyond all reason. Decent people help each other out. You’re not asking for a regular commitment or a major deviation to a prior commitment he has. He’s being really mean.

Because it's relevant to the question op posed .
You can't ask for a accurate opinions without providing the relevent context and facts .

God yeah
mine would have been absolutely chomping at the bit !

Many Irish kids who don't live in the back arse of nowhere. She isn't hindering her children, she is working to the limits of what is available in her area of Ireland.

And recently we had several taxi drivers prosecuted for raping female passengers so a bit of caution is not to be judged.

OP I’ve quickly read most of the thread - if you are from the traveller community in Ireland I completely understand your concerns.
And.. more importantly why your FIL is so stubborn!!
I am Irish (not a traveller) but Christ my father wouldn’t take me to dental appointments as a child.
Everything was an inconvenience to him.
He’s nearly died several times from sheer ignorance and stupidity about not attending medical appointments.
He made a show of himself at my mother’s funeral a couple of years ago (I will never ever forgive him and have no relationship with him now). But everything is on the “poor beleaguered man, nagged by the women” in very traditional scenarios so they just absent themselves from normal family interactions and favours.

It’s understandable to me the issues in getting a lift in Ireland too - it’s either easy as pie or like taking out a mortgage and the favour goes on and on..

I am glad your BIL responded favourably.

It’s true that lots of teens are independent in Ireland but there’s also a big cultural issue of “babying” by family- until you turn 18. Not in every family- I was working with my 13 year old sister at 15, walking 10 miles a day (in literal here) mushroom picking in summer holidays. I know that was the 1990’s but outside cities, things were fairly regimented. Girls had fewer freedoms and more responsibilities.

Don’t let this spoil your daughter’s first match, or your time away. If BIL fails, she will miss the first match. It’s not the end of the world.

In defence of previous posters - life is easier in terms of public transport at least in the UK (where I live and most mums on here), so it’s hard to fathom the almost non-existent public transport in Ireland!

It may not be common but that doesn't mean it can't be done. There's a first time for everything. 27km isn't that great a distance either. 30 mins in a taxi maybe?
I'm from Ireland (am suspecting you might be too) and was definitely taking taxis by 16.