FIL pissed me of

He is pathetic. Id do nothing for him. Id tell him if he cant help out geting Grand daughter to new club, no take away for him on no more favours. Call him out on rhis - why should you pay for his dinner. Why does he get to be a tw*t and you dont.

Failing all that..dd misses one two-hour session and you just tell them that holiday was booked long before paperwork was even a thing and its a trip you have waited 17 years for .

Why not? I would certainly think it reasonable to ask if it were mine. Why reasonable to ask FIL but not 17year old?

You said in your OP that the paperwork has come through quicker than you expected so you thought you were okay booking it.

You already have plans prior to the paperwork being done - why can't she just miss the game if she cant get there?

Where has the Op said she and her family are members of the travelling community? Did I miss where she confirmed this?

Whether she is or not, she as the parent gets to decide whether it is firstly even possible for her 16 yr old daughter to travel in a taxi miles from home for a lengthy period of time and whether this would be safe for her daughter or not.

Her being a member of the travelling community has no impact on the fact that it just isn't a feasible solution.

As for the contributor who said pay for a nanny for the day to bring her??! Where can you just source a nanny with transport for one day..I could really do with this service.

I wouldn’t. A community that restricts the freedom of young women and girls does not deserve understanding.

Don't go. Go another time but stop totally and entirely helping FIL out. He doesn't give the tiniest shite about any of you.

Would BiL be reliable if one of your children reminded him?

Why on earth not?

😂

I would be frustrated with your FIL as well, because he is the easiest solution to the problem and is choosing not to help when you don’t ask him for many things, but he is happy to accept your help (and takeaways!) when he needs something.
Im not sure which Country you live in as you’ve not specified so it’s tricky when the norm is for children to be transported rather then get somewhere under their own steam.
Having said that I would definitely expect a 17 year old to pitch in and accompany a younger sibling in a taxi and take a book or equiv to sit in a nearby cafe if they didn’t want to stand on the sideline because at 17 they should also appreciate that you never go away and families help out even if it’s not something they’d particularly enjoy.
Maybe send your brother in law a message on the morning ahead of time just remind him if he’s a little unreliable so that your MIL doesn’t have to stress about trying to sort it if he forgets.
Have a lovely time away!

As BIL is willing ask him to do it and then make sure you call to remind him about 30 mins before he needs to leave.

Are there some issues with your 17 year old not mentioned here? I did DoE, went to festivals with friends and left home at 17… taxi ride and a couple of hours in an coffee shop should not be impossible.

If FIL could go to a cafe, so could 17yr old.

Spell it out to fil. Point out all you do and say you feel used. Or ask mil to speak to him and explain all favours to him are likely to stop dead!

If the op has just explained from the outset that she’s part of the travelling community, posters would have been a lot more understanding

.

Some of these comments are absolutely sickening. So much for mumsnetters support.

I think OP shot herself in the foot by saying she wouldn't ask her 17 year old to support her younger sister in a very important match for a new team but even if she was willing to do it, in reality I think it's the fact that public transport outside of Dublin can be non existent in areas.Taxis are unreliable and extortionate. Learning to drive and get insurance at 17 can also be extortionate costs too and most 17 year olds would still be in secondary school.

It's very sad not to have family to rely on, so many people should understand. OP your FIL sounds terrible and BIL not much better, that's very tough.

This.. she's 16 not a baby, if she wants to go she needs to get a taxi 🤷‍♀️

Is anyone else rather disappointed that OP’s location turned out to be Ireland with a quick trip to the Uk involved?

I had visions of a village in Africa or darkest Peru.

Ah ok this makes sense. OP could grandma not go with her in a cab?

Honestly, I don't think a lot of the posters are trying to help. They are criticising the op's parenting and completing ignoring the fact that no, public transport, including taxis, is not a viable option everywhere.

Well I agree with you but apparently the OP is from the travelling community so not wanting DDs to travel unaccompanied with a man they don't know (taxi driver) makes sense now but OP was insisting that kids in her country don't take taxis. I suspect that this may be a case of someone from the travelling community thinking that the whole rest of the country is like that (i.e. kids don't take taxis) when actually it is traveller kids don't take taxis, but not realising the difference as they are in their traveller bubble.

Give eldest €50 & taxi fare to go with DD and stand at the side of the pitch as a one off

For those asking why cant the two girls travel together in the taxi , this wouldnt be appropriate in the travelling community. Two underage girls would not be able to travel by taxi alone unaccompanied and the older sister would not be able to sit in a cafe alone for 2 hours either . If their brother was over 18 he would be able to accompany them but not if he is younger

This reply comes across as rude, which I’m sure wasn’t your intention. I don’t think posters are misunderstanding the basics. People are trying to help and suggest solutions.

If there is no solution that you feel comfortable with, then perhaps she needs to miss that (one) weekend…