Ex wife still has husband’s surname

😂😂

I lost my home, my job, some of our friends, and my hopes and dreams for the future, I was damn sure I wasn’t going to lose my name as well, and if it pissed her off so much the better

I was married for 20 years, I had my married name for way longer than my maiden name, have now been divorced for 24 years, it’s the name my children wanted me keep, they were all teenagers at the time and they didn’t want people to think that the other woman (who he went on to marry) was their mother, so I kept it, plus it’s a right admin faff having to change your name and expensive having to get new passports etc

She probably wants to keep her name the same as her sons and after all that time married, it would be hassle changing it, that’s if she wanted to. Why don’t you do all of her admin and pay the costs of having her name changed back? What a weird person you are. Can think of plenty of names for you currently.

Get over yourself. It’s her name. Why should she change it? My parents divorced 45 years ago and my mum never changed her name.

I was only married to my first husband for 6 months but I kept his name for 14 years. It’s a hell of a faff to change it all back.

It's worth the minor inconvenience if you want to use the same name.

If you don't, don't.

It's even less hard not to. It's a ridiculous, patriarchal anachronism.

The vast majority of women who get married, including me. It isn't hard.

It's her surname, not her ex husband's. Why should she change it if she doesn't want to

I only have the surname I have had since birth. Never once have I answered to another name, but because I’m married it seems to confuse the hell out of people. I even had someone tell me it was illegal to remain Ms Myname after marriage and that giving our daughter my surname with DH’s as a middle name was child abuse.

I see your point, but there is a difference in that 'Brian' is not a name that the person has ever been known by.

I answer to either of my surnames without rancour.

It isn't. A name is an identity. It's important.

Otherwise you wouldn't mind in the least if people started addressing you as 'Brian'.

I would have taken precisely that attitude to the social diktat to change my name in the first place, if the idea of doing so had ever even occurred to me.

Who indeed could be bothered with all that admin?

It’s a bit odd, my mum is the same. I think in those days it was important to have same name as children. Don’t see why it would bother you, that is also odd

So - is it acceptable or not as the case may be to keep your ex's surname and also call yourself Mrs. Ex's name? My parents got divorced 30 years ago and my mother always called herself Mrs. married name, her best friend / my Godmother got divorced at the same time and went back to her married name, it was a bit confusing to me as a child.

In 3 cases it persuaded the female not to change her name and in another they portmanteued.

She wanted the same name as her child when growing up and now that she’s had it so long, it’s just her name with no marital meaning to it. Plus! to change your name is an absolute faff, as you have to then change your name on your bank-account, passport, driving licence at the doctor’s and so forth. And there’s no need to. She may also like to have the same name as her GC if on the cards!

OP, it may upset you her keeping the name, but you’re not important in the Ex Wife’s life so she doesn’t give a cr*p what you’d like to happen.

I kept my previous married name till I remarried last year- DD was 18 & we’d been divorced for nearly 14 years. I kept the name as she was still young and at school when we separated.
DH ex wife still uses her married name - they’ve been divorced a similar length of time & DC are 28/30 so mid teens when they separated. I’m just not that fussed what name she goes by, her choice.

This wouldn’t bother me. It’s her name, she must have had it longer than her maiden name by now- just let it go.

I wouldn’t give a shit - well I don’t as my husbands ex still has his name.

It wouldn’t be for me personally, I’d go back to my maiden name as soon as we split

What is your success rate so far?

This stress could all be so simply avoided if everyone just kept their names!!

I support equity. Men aren’t expected to do this, so why should women? It’s practice rooted in male privilege and the literal ownership of women and children.

I never ask engaged women if they will be changing their names, but I now make sure to ask engaged men. How else will anything change?

Unclear why you have any say over this persons name! Yeh you are wrong to be peeved.