Ex wife still has husband’s surname

This. Maybe worth speaking with a solicitor as well? Can’t let the cheeky bitch use someone else’s name for over 30 years! Or even share it with her son!

I've kept mine and not changing it anytime soon.

I'm more surprised by the number of women who changed their surname to their husband's when they married. I didn't realise it was still as common

My ex husband's ex wife also kept his name. It is a nice name. Maybe nicer than her maiden name? Not sure what that was, but I am guessing. I kept mine all along as I am fond of it, so didn't bother me...and I am VERY glad I did!😁It makes me wonder whether you have some kind of underlying envy or resentment? Otherwise why would you care after all these years?

You are being very unreasonable. It’s her name!

My husband’s ex changed her surname when they married and kept it after they split 25 years ago. Apparently, she preferred it to her old surname. No children and they had a very short marriage.

I’ve never given it any thought.

I mean I kind of get it but also if I ever got divorced I’m keeping my current last name because 1) it sounds way cooler 2) I want the same last name as my kids and 3) all my published work is under that name and it’s how I’m known professionally.

There’s loads of reasons why you might want to keep your ex husbands name and at the end of the day it’s personal. It’s okay to be annoyed but there’s nothing you can do.

OP why are you so bothered by it, that you put it in SM?

I hope I don't get divorced but if I did, I'd keep my married name. Hated my maiden name for numerous reasons and I want the same name as my children (my daughter might change hers if she marries but I still like that connection).

My dh was married for 1 year when he was 18. He’s now 44 and been married to me 21 years this year, ex wife still has his name. Couldn’t give a monkeys that she has it.
I don’t understand why it bothers you?

You haven't said why it bothers you so much?

They’ve been divorced for 28 yrs, time to stop caring what she does. This makes no difference to your life whatsoever.

Have you kept your surname or taken your husband’s?

This is a non-issue, but if you’ve changed yours perhaps you see it almost as a reflection of ‘ownership’ by your now husband and her ex-husband.

I genuinely fine it mad and baffling that women routinely call themselves by a different name because they have married someone 🤷‍♀️

You're being massively, hugely unreasonable. Get a grip

She has HER surname.

Names are not unique, they don't belong to anyone.

You will be mind blown when you find out random women have your husbands surname. He could get a new co-worker with that name or a new neighbor or a new kid in your kids class etc...

You would be even more pissed to realize ANYONE can change their name to his surname for any reason they choose.

Give up your pathetic patriarchal brainwashing that tells you men 'own' women and our identities are linked only to them. For 30 years this woman has had this name and its HERS and only about her now identity, life, achievements, family etc... Maybe your husband should have taken YOUR name instead if it bothers yous so much.

My mum did this and yes it's weird and it's even weirder now that we are grown up.
(She didn't want acquaintances to know they'd divorced...)

I worked with someone who was with someone whose first name was the same as hers. Her surname was double-barrelled but she wanted to keep her own surname as well as have husband’s surname so she tripled barrelled it! It just seemed really ridiculous.

I never changed mine 2 reasons firstly I really couldn’t be arsed having to notify so many companies . Secondly I spent 20 odd years spelling my maiden name so I was glad to get a normal surname and I was sticking with it until I remarried .

A lot of women want to retain the same name as their children as the child has the father's name
A neighbour of mine has remarried and still retains her ex husbands name as she likes it and not as keen on second husbans name. Good for her I say. We women should all do what we prefer

Why did you choose to have the same name as her? That’s the odd thing. If it bothered you, why did you do that?

Wait until you realise that thousands of other people also have the same surname as your DH 😬

How can you possibly know that "she's not the type to be bothered about having the same name as her son"?

It's so funny, this name thing. You can share names with other people without eroding your rights to the same name. You're no less of a ByCyanPlayer since finding out your husband's ex has kept the name, literally nothing has changed for you.

There could be a hundred thousand ByCyanPlayers in your city and you'd still be as much of a ByCyanPlayer as you are now.

I'm divorced 20 years but still use my ex's name. My maiden name was Onions - the fuck am I going back to that! 😀

It's her surname. She presumably shares it with her son.

How long do you expect her to have a name before it becomes "hers"? It was also her name before you came along.

unless his Mum has remarried it'd be III @Sanasaaa 😉

But it’s her name…and has been for 30 years by the sound of things

Even if it’s an unusual/unique surname, it doesn’t matter…it’s HER name