Ex wife still has husband’s surname

Now there's a great idea! 🤣🤣

If only we could persuade OP to reveal the name then we could all set up deed polls to adopt it ourselves. She would probably self combust.

I doubt OP will be coming back now. She was looking for validation that she alone had rights to her husband's surname. She didn't get that and instead quite rightly had her arse handed to her on a plate. It's very nearly unanimous that she is being unreasonable/ridiculous.

When I saw the title I thought it might be the new Mrs Cornflower complaining about me!!

Timelines confirm otherwise.

However I do intend on changing my name back....... eventually.

I would like to think I annoy the exH and the new missus.(it certainly will upset one of them!)

He once told exMIL he hated the fact I was Mrs XXX.

I retorted it was mine name and I intended to keep it.

Now when I cross the rainbow bridge I want my maiden name used.

When I can find the time I'll change it. (Although knowing the ex there be a 2nd ex Mrs Cornflower soon enough).

Hahahahahaha okay don’t be so ridiculous mrs number 2

Why does it bother you? Is it because you was not his first choice?

That was her name before it was ever yours.

Her child's name before it was yours.

If my Mum hadn’t of remarried there would be no way she would ever go back to her maiden name. (It was awful)

My friend divorced and even before ink was dry she had changed her name back to maiden.

Another friend she wanted the same name as her children after divorce , she is now in her late 50’s never remarried and still has her ex name - as she says I’ve been known by this name for nearly 30 years it’s kinda mine now!

It’s each person choice.

If we ever get divorced I will be keeping my married name. Its my childs' surname.

I've always been completely baffled as to why a woman would want to keep her ex husband's name following a divorce but I know I'm a minority - I have divorced friends with grown up children who still go by the ex's surname.

I kept my XH's name until I remarried. It's a complete hassle and some expense (driving licence & passport both charge as I remember) to change your name.

They were only married for 2 years...so why are you so bothered by her life choices 🤔

If it annoys you that much why don't you and your husband both take your name? Problem solved.

How do you know she "isnt the type to care if she has the same name as her child"?

Could also be
She likes it better than her birth name
She refuses to be seen as a "maiden" (I do loathe the phrase maiden name and always use birth name)
She cant be bothered to do all the hassle of changing her name again
She likes knowing it annoys you and her X

I still have my ex husband's surname, we've been separated since 2018 (still technically married, I can't afford to divorce him.) I then gave that surname to DS who is nothing to do with him! (One of my ex bf's mums had a huge issue with my surname and still being married. Ridiculous! This was in 2022.)

Oh, and we were only properly married for four years. Don't care. It's my name now! And I didn't want DS to have his deadbeat dad's surname either.

How can you say she’s not the type to be bothered about her and her son having the same surname? Do you know her personally? Sometimes it’s not about being bothered it’s just practical. If mum and son have the same surname no questions are asked, going abroad, bank accs, enrolling at school, healthcare etc, it’s just easier. If they split when son was 2 and by the time her son turned 16/18 she’d have had the surname for 20 years so why go to the hassle then. You sound pathetic tbh. You need to get a grip. Plenty women get divorced and even hate their exs but keep the surname for a variety of reasons, as above, work, passport etc. just get on with your life and stop obsessing over your husbands ex he split for 3 decades ago🤷‍♀️

What do you mean by 'she isn't the type to be bothered by her and her son having the same surname'?
She's his mother, a lot of mothers don't change names after divorce for this reason. It's very valid.

I'm sure she is doing it just annoy you, OP 🤔

Main Character Energy.

I divorced 14 yrs ago and kept my married name as it was DD’s too. It was just a bonus that XH hated that I’d kept ‘his’ name. He’s now remarried and I know he hasn’t taken her name.

Lots of women keep their new name, its a faff to change it, most people know her by that name and shes probably had it longer than you had her maiden name, grow up.
Does your husband know hes married a psycho?

16 years later I still have my former married surname. I have the same name as my children and I couldn't be bothered going to the hassle of changing my name on everything.

Plus it probably annoys my XH 😅

Yabu to care about this. It's nothing to do with you.And they've been divorced for 28 years so what do you think is going to happen because she kept his name🤷🏻‍♀️

My husbands ex-wife still uses his name but they still have school age kids so I kind of get it, however I was desperate to change mine and went back to my maiden name as soon as I could - but maybe the difference was when my kids were born, I was Miss Maiden Name anyway so it's not really a big deal for me.

I actually think it bothers my husbands ex-wife that I have his name now, and obviously the same as her kids as she hates me and causes so much hassle, and I often get mistaken for their mother which pisses her off no end, so that's quite enjoyable.

I do find it odd that she would keep the name of a man she despises and refuses to even look at but I guess it's the kid thing.

My mum kept her married name after she divorced my dad. He got remarried. Im sure my step mum thought similar to OP. But its her name. Maybe she has built a whole career and everyone knows her as ms x? Maybe she CBA with the hassle of changing it? Either way I don’t think it’s something to get annoyed about. Im Mrs foredgyhare and so is my mil and my sil and other people.

I still have my ex’s surname after we divorced 25 year ago. I kept it so kids had same name and no real reason to change now

12 pages telling you YABU...

Do you get annoyed at other people sharing the name?

Stop being so ridiculous. She has more claim to the name than you do, after all she isnt property. Its her name, its the name of her child.

Change your name if you're that arsed. Or get DH to change his name to yours. Problem solved

I'm divorcing and not changing my name. I just can't be arsed. Too much hassle. It's my name now and has been for a long time.

I'm the same. I kept it to be the same as my son's. I'm not going to change it unless I marry again.