Ex wife still has husband’s surname

My DH’s ex wife kept ‘his’ name. After they divorced, thirty years ago, she remarried so changed her name to her new husband’s but when they divorced she went back to her ex ex husbands. The kids were all grown up and didn’t care (some had changed their own names due to marriage) so nothing to do with keeping the same name as them.
I couldn’t care less. Quietly I think it’s a bit sad. She claims to hate him, I struggle to
imagine why she wants to keep the name. If I ever divorced the first thing I would do would be to ditch the name.
So yeah, a bit sad, but it doesn’t bother either of us.

I have my ex-husband's surname. We have a child together. I won't be changing my name when my son is 30 because it is the name I have built my career around and because I bitterly regret ever changing it in the first place, so I'm not doing it again. Changing your name is bloody weird.

My ex has remarried. His new wife shares his surname, and therefore mine. I doubt very much that she has feelings about this.

Your husband's ex spent 16 years as a legal guardian of his child and presumably wanted to have the same surname as said child, for his sake and for the sake of ease at school etc. You expecting her to change her name when she's had it for so long just because she's no longer the kid's legal guardian is absolutely ridiculous. Grow up.

This is what I would do if my ex asked me to change my name. I'd take it more. 😉🤣

When i got divorced i tried to change back to my name before i married. You'd be surprised how diffocult it is. All.my vocational qualifications ( certificates, diplomas etc. ) were in my married name, as well as a whole bunch of other things. It was expensive and time consuming and in the end i gave up. Too much trouble. It had nothing to do with wanting to keep his name. I absolutely didnt want to. Sometimes things are just easier and life's too short. So ive been Mrs. Blah for 30 years. Who cares.

If you think you situation is 'bad'. My friend didn't change her surname had a kid and double barrelled the kids surname, they then split, with a really nasty breakup with her ex becoming very abusive. Friend moved on quickly, married (keeping her own name again) had a few more kids and double barrelled their surnames, her first and second husband both had the same very common surname.
Nearly two decades on we still all laugh about how much it must piss her ex off!!

Get a life.

🤣🤣🤣 I say the same out my ex dh. Some wild people out there. I just smile sweetly and like the queen never complain. Unless she really encroaches on me.

Can't imagine why they divorced!

I do wonder why they married.

My mum and step mum have the same actual name! Seating planning my wedding was fun!

She also sometimes refers to him still as her husband and family. I am a whore apparently even though I met him years after they separated and have never met or spoken with her. Thankfully separated by several miles 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don't understand it not something I would do

I don't know any women who do that with their current husband nevermind ex - that is really weird.

My dhs ex kept her married name and even goes by Mrs (dh's first name) Topaz 🤣🤣🤣 that bemuses me as they have been divorced 12 years, yes to use the last name but to include my dh's name is wild but can't let it bother me.

I have my ExH surname. I hate him and I hate his name, but our son has his surname so I’m keeping it for him. If, when DS turns 18, he wants to change his surname (which has said he does want to), I’ll change mine to the same as his.

The views of ExH’s current wife are irrelevant to me, and my name is of no concern of hers.

Ive kept mine as its my sons name. Id rather not its a very distinctive name. I want to do travelling with my son and don't want to be stopped due to having a different surname. This has happened to a few women I know.

Maybe she didn't like the 'common simple' name she had before she married.

plus she isn’t the type to be bothered about her and her son having the same surname.

How do you know. Maybe she is. Maybe she changed her mind.

Nothing to do with you really-it's her name.

This was years ago when our kids were young. It's okay now, one remarried, one died and we moved away. [and not soon enough]😆

They haven’t been together for 28 years and still she is on your mind? Insecure much?

If it bothers you so much, why don't you and your husband change surname to your maiden name?

Why are you jealous of someone he divorced 28 years ago?

999 case by the sound of the message ...

[to be clear, don't call 999!]

I think that's quite common, particularly if there are kids YABU

My DH ex has still got his surname . They’ve been divorced 27 years and kids are all grown up with families of their own. I couldn’t care less what she calls herself . There’s plenty of us in this world with the same name so one more doesn’t make any difference to me !

Or “The next ex-Mrs Surname…”

I didn’t change my name after I got divorced, but then changed it to current (and final) DH’s. My mum kept her married name for 38 years. I don’t think my stepmum cared. DH’s exW went back to her maiden name after they were divorced. Who cares?

Talk about keeping things close to home!!

Do none of you ever leave your home town 🤣

YANBU

It definitely comes across as someone who is desperate to hold onto their ex husband or embarrassed by getting divorced.

I can understand it when the DCs are very young as it must be difficult going abroad etc with different last names.

I can also perhaps understand not wanting to let it go for a few months if it’s difficult to face the reality of your ex leaving you.

But yes it is weird to keep it for years when you aren’t married to them anymore.

I definitely think it’s an age thing though.
I guess divorce used to bring a lot of shame but I’ve noticed younger women tend to change their name back almost immediately, sometimes using their maiden name even before the divorce is final.