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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

365 replies

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:15

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

OP posts:
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Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:11

BlueJuniper94 · 15/01/2026 14:49

Oh come on, isn't it better children as exposed to a variety of ways of seeing the world? Isn't this multiculturalism at its best? I thought we loved diversity 🤷‍♀️ are you worried your children will believe things you don't? Are you really lacking confidence in their intellectual and critical faculties that they need to be shielded from other beliefs?

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Yes, I mean unless the children are being scared by it. At that age I would have found it funny if anything.

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:09

artfiend · 15/01/2026 14:25

Same here. The events described by the OP seem to be taking place somewhere in the former Yugoslavia. My best guess would be Bosnia and Herzegovina. A more distant possibility could be a former Soviet republic closer to the Caucasus, but the presence of a Catholic housekeeper makes that less likely.

If my reading is correct, tensions among the household staff would likely be both religious and ethnic, with ethnic divisions possibly even stronger.

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Fascinating. I don't know much about Yugoslavia & my guess was quite different. Want to find out more now..

LucyLoo1972 · 16/01/2026 21:07

Balloonhearts · 15/01/2026 11:23

I'd tell the pair of them that I don't want them filling the children's heads with tales of Satan and to keep their religious beliefs to themselves. If they can't, I'd let them both go. I wouldn't want anyone filling my children's heads with religious nonsense about Jesus and Satan and evil.

I had religious psychosis and it destroyed my life. I was a christian but a sane one not like this housekeeper

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:05

Glitterella · 15/01/2026 15:26

It’s a MN thing. I have refrained from sharing the part of my life on MN which has me employing a full time cleaner and a gardener. Firstly posters assume Im British and have a go at me for obviously being well off enough to afford it and then when I explain I live in Africa I am a colonial oppressor. You cannot win on MN.

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As long as they're paid fairly I don't see the issue...

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:04

BlueJuniper94 · 15/01/2026 14:54

You don't sound like you do respect those who are if they're "spewing bile" 🤣

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Strictly speaking, if you are an employee you shouldn't be telling your employer off for having witchy objects or whatever or say stuff in the house is from Satan.

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:02

Hopelesscase32 · 15/01/2026 17:49

Why is everyone so bothered about having a nanny and a housekeeper
My brother in law works in Oman and they are encouraged by the employer to do so as it helps the local economy

Edited

As long as she's paid fairly and is able to return to her home country if she wants...

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 21:00

Tuesdayschild50 · 15/01/2026 17:17

They both sound woo woo 🤭 i could imagine this being a comedy show 🤣

Exactly. Honestly I want a housekeeper like this 🤣 It sounds entertaining more than anything.

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 20:59

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 15/01/2026 16:56

Resist attempts to change how your children live, but don’t change the people. Chances are any replacements will have similarly diverse beliefs- which they are entitled to- and may not offer any benefit.

I lived in Singapore briefly and wealthy locals and most westerners there had a maid who cooked, cleaned, and also supervised the children. Many had two. The maid’s room in the apartment we stayed in was like a large cupboard, with a small high slatted window that you couldn’t climb out of. You were responsible for your maid’s behaviour and potential pregnancy, so employers were extremely strict- even attending birth control appointments. It was awful.

My DC went to a local nursery part time to give me a bit of a break. It was very different to the UK.

Yeah, Singapore is...something else...on quite a few issues!

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 20:57

AllMyPunySorrows · 15/01/2026 18:35

Says every lower-middle-class Brit who ever moved to the ME and employed an exploited domestic servant under the kafala system.

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If the people are paid fairly and able to leave the country, that's one thing.

I think it's fair to argue that people often work as domestic servants who haven't got many other options & it can help them send remittances etc. But otoh that is NO excuse for being held in bondage by kafala and not allowed to go home, nor paid unfairly.

KM123456 · 16/01/2026 20:47

Ask other parents there what they do in this situation. It can't be unique.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/01/2026 20:27

MidnightMusing5 · 16/01/2026 18:42

Who does the cat love more?

I find it quite funny though. They both mean well in their own way .

The Hand that Holds the Dreamies, of course.

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 20:08

LER83 · 16/01/2026 19:37

You should have a look at 2 books by Pamela O'Cuneen, 'Hummingbirds in my hair' and 'Culture Shock and Canapes'. Its about her time in Africa as a diplomats wife and running a household. They are really interesting and funny!

Sounds good!

Carla786 · 16/01/2026 20:08

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:18

The cat loves them both.

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Aw,...
this sounds a bit annoying.. but if they're both doing their jobs well, maybe let it be..

Hmm1234 · 16/01/2026 19:38

😂😂😂😂 she is so tired of your conversation and household ‘Jesus is coming’ is quiet common in African culture when someone really disapproves of the topic

LER83 · 16/01/2026 19:37

You should have a look at 2 books by Pamela O'Cuneen, 'Hummingbirds in my hair' and 'Culture Shock and Canapes'. Its about her time in Africa as a diplomats wife and running a household. They are really interesting and funny!

ellyeth · 16/01/2026 19:28

I agree with balloonhearts. I wouldn't want my children's heads filled with worries about devils and evil. Most adults can overlook these sorts of things but children are more impressionable.

TheRuffleandthePearl · 16/01/2026 19:27

If any member of my staff tried to “tell me off” about anything to do with my kids, she would be out the door so fast her head would spin. Fuck That. Cheeky cunt thinking she has any right to tell me how to do anything.

Switcher · 16/01/2026 19:24

DefiniteMeteor · 15/01/2026 11:33

As a taxpayer - no thank you. That is surely on the list of stuff we don’t need to be paying for.

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It sort of is. Senior diplomats have salaries that allow staff in low income countries, and as they and their spouses are expected to entertain in the evenings, often in their home, they do need some help with setting up the event and the house, as well as childcare. Diplomacy is much, much cheaper than tariffs, wars, immigration problems, cyberespionage or all the other shit that hapens (or happens more) without it.

angelfacecuti75 · 16/01/2026 19:18

"Please don't talk about /impose your religious beliefs on my children or with each other as it is clearly causing issues between both of you and I want my children to feel safe in their own home ...this includes talking to them /me in front of them /throwing away or talking about throwing away toys /talking about us not attending events due to your religious beliefs/talk about Satan etc. I want a calm atmosphere in my home amd for my children and I expect professionalism. Thank you '
Google translate it if you have to & show them on your phone .

Behappy1948 · 16/01/2026 19:11

I would be telling them to keep their thoughts and ideas to themselves and get on with the job they are paid to do. Other than that it would be the housekeeper that had to go.

NotDarkGothicMama · 16/01/2026 19:03

EmpressaurusKitty · 15/01/2026 12:11

Your housekeeper wouldn’t approve of my cat, she’s got a Ouija board & knows how to use it.

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My cats also have an ouija board. My living room is now haunted by tiny ghost mice.

ilovesushi · 16/01/2026 19:03

Live and let live. Our old nanny was very religious and didn't like anything to do with Halloween or witchcraft. No Harry Potter for the children! Apart from this foible she was outstanding so we just accepted it. For her it was deeply important, for us not so important. Ask the cat.

AlohaRose · 16/01/2026 18:58

Are you the poster whose nanny is currently off work following cosmetic surgery?

Blades2 · 16/01/2026 18:52

Clean your own house? 😊

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/01/2026 18:49

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:54

I do go to Orthodox Church here as it’s beautiful and I have an evil eye charm and jewellery so I’m embracing the culture. Religion here is considered a private matter so outside the home you don’t really discuss it if that makes sense.

Religion here is considered a private matter so outside the home you don’t really discuss it…

Surely this is your line? They’re outside of their home unless they’re live in and even so, it’s your home.

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