My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

😂😂😂😂 she is so tired of your conversation and household ‘Jesus is coming’ is quiet common in African culture when someone really disapproves of the topic

Why have children if you are so very important and busy? Do you not think your kids would prefer to see their parents not the nanny and housekeeper? What a crap life for them. I would wager everything I have that they will not chose the same life for their future children.

As long as they're paid fairly I don't see the issue...

America =\ the Bible Belt.

There are plenty of regions in the U.S where religious proselytizing is not something you’d be likely to encounter.

What does the cat think?

The cat loves them both.

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

What does the cat think?

I’m presuming you are British. We are not British so I doubt you are a taxpayer of my country. 👍🏻🧿

This is the cat. Apparently she repels demons.

She was injured living on the street and now she is very happy and loved.

Your housekeeper wouldn’t approve of my cat, she’s got a Ouija board & knows how to use it.

I think the nanny is fine and the housekeeper either has to go or has to stop proselytising.

At a guess you’re posted in a part of E.Europe/E.Med that was once part of the Ottoman Empire thus has Islam and also Orthodox Church?

Either way, this has the makings of a Henry James novella: “What Clara Knew”. As long as it doesn’t go “Turn of the Screw”.

OP, I’d opt for sceptical tolerance unless it affects you or the children detrimentally. The driver is your best friend !

If you are a fiction writer, or maybe even not, I think you need to document your experiences and use them one day. My life as a diplomat’s wife type of thing.

You’ll get all sorts of daft responses here from people who don’t understand the mechanics of living in different countries, dealing with different cultures etc. Although the world has changed, there are still places where ‘privileged’ visitors are expected to contribute to the local economy and professions where they are expected to have household staff.

Many years ago my sister and her husband went to South Africa and she was taken aback that she was expected to have a cleaner, despite not working herself. Also that she had to have a nanny when my nephew was born. Her husband wasn’t even in the diplomatic service, just a middle ranking chemist. Had they not had ‘staff’ they would have been shunned by their peers for being tight or common and by the locals for not ploughing money back into the community.

My late sister-in-law’s father was in the Diplomatic Service and it was normal to have a whole raft of household staff despite his wife not working.

Enjoy living in your current country, I’d love to know your nationality and where you are living but understand if you don’t feel you can tell us.

I get that staff are much more affordable in other countries and in ex-pat communities it feels like the ‘done thing’, but you still have a choice. I would hate to have full-time staff milling around the house all day long, even if they weren’t spouting religious nonsense. I have cleaners, but they are only here a few hours a week, I make sure I’m not around when they come and they obviously know not to move or remove any of my belongings. Is this not something you could do instead? It would solve your problems I think.

Sounds like a Mitford/Cooper mashup novel but set in Keeeeenya about 100 years ago. I’d read it.

I think that some of those snarking about OP having domestic help are missing the point that having “staff” is much more affordable in some countries (as a % of income) than it is in Western Europe.

Having lived many years in Asia I know countless families who came back to the UK and continued earning more or less the same/working the same hours as they did in banks in Hong Kong or insurance companies in Singapore.They had nannies and housekeepers there, but do not have them here because they don’t want to pay UK-level salaries to them.

It’s no different to coming back from living in a place where street food costs a couple of £ at a stall, to food trucks in London charging £12 for a curry.

I wouldn’t worry about it. I grew up through my dad’s diplomatic postings in various parts of the world and I’ve lost count of the number of nannies, gardeners and random ladies in the street who have blessed me, curse me and assured me of Jesus’s imminent arrival. As far as I know, it didn’t do me too much harm and probably gave me a slightly more colourful view of the world.

My mum would probably have tried to introduce some sort of no talking about religion at work rule. I’m reasonably certain it would have been completely ignored.

To be honest, none of the cursing, blessing and Jesus talk was anywhere near as batshit as growing up on diplomatic postings behind the iron curtain in the early 80s. I’ve got some properly mad camera in your bra, bugged tennis racket, poison umbrella, chess match to the death stories about my crazy childhood.

America =\ the Bible Belt.

There are plenty of regions in the U.S where religious proselytizing is not something you’d be likely to encounter.