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AIBU?

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Original poster

My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

365 replies

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:15

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering.

So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious.

She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer.

There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue.

There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn.

They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us.

AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go?

🧿🪬

OP posts:
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Dragonflytamer · 15/01/2026 12:02

What's the thing about horns? Does she think Rhinos are the work of the devil?

InterIgnis · 15/01/2026 12:01

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:54

I do go to Orthodox Church here as it’s beautiful and I have an evil eye charm and jewellery so I’m embracing the culture. Religion here is considered a private matter so outside the home you don’t really discuss it if that makes sense.

I’m nominally Orthodox. I’m not religious, but I do love the Byzantine style of churches and Ottoman mosques. I also have a few evil eyes around my house. It’s more cultural than anything.

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:01

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:58

Unfortunately that wouldn’t work as we both work, attend evening functions and travel in the region sometimes overnight. Expats living here don’t have family close by so every expat family I know has some kind of paid help.

By having the cleaning and ironing etc done I can spend time with the children. There are times when stuff happens when I need the nanny to be at home with them.

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Meh, it’s a choice to live like that. It’s not a choice I would make. You’re allowing random strangers with batshit views to influence your children.

ChestnutGrove · 15/01/2026 12:01

You all sound a bit woo

Genevieva · 15/01/2026 11:59

I would treasure the slightly comic domestic situations you are experiencing. They will create rich memories.

Original poster
Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:58

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 11:53

I would get rid of them both and bring up my own kids/run my own home. I realise that sounds a bit joyless, but absolutely nobody gets to bring that superstitious magical thinking crap anywhere near my children’s minds.

Unfortunately that wouldn’t work as we both work, attend evening functions and travel in the region sometimes overnight. Expats living here don’t have family close by so every expat family I know has some kind of paid help.

By having the cleaning and ironing etc done I can spend time with the children. There are times when stuff happens when I need the nanny to be at home with them.

OP posts:
Bluemin · 15/01/2026 11:57

I'm intrigued that you attend church but then say things like "wittering about religion" and use tarot cards and crystals which the church views as occult practices. Sounds like your own views might be a bit confused.

Isekaied · 15/01/2026 11:57

We had an employee on a work placement like this caused so many issues.

But we always respected her beliefs and made so many accommodations for her. And changes to the role. And supported her so much.

In the end she still put in a huge complaint about us which caused us so many issues.

Pastlast · 15/01/2026 11:56

Can’t comment on the rest but having seen picture I agree cat was clearly sent from God to protect you. 😀

CautiousLurker2 · 15/01/2026 11:56

Are you the diplomat’s wife whose nanny went off to have cosmetic surgery and expected 3 weeks off? She as a writer too…

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 15/01/2026 11:55

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:24

Obviously we don’t have a footman and butler (but I know someone on a Bangladesh posting who has a butler and a cook) but the driver is married to the housekeeper and he thinks they are both crazy,

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Well it's Bangladesh. Stands to reason. They have to offer the moon on a stick or no-one would go. The harder the posting, the better the incentives.

QuietPiggy · 15/01/2026 11:55

'This is a fascinating discussion, but I can't stop, I'm due to shag the gardener in five minutes.'

Isekaied · 15/01/2026 11:55

This is hilarious 😂

InterIgnis · 15/01/2026 11:55

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:45

This is the cat. Apparently she repels demons.

She was injured living on the street and now she is very happy and loved.

Beautiful cat!

Cats are excellent at keeping demons in line due to outranking them.

I’d be of a mind to let them wage holy war, but let them know to do it quietly. It does seem like the housekeeper is more the issue here though, as it appears that she’s evangelizing. I would speak to her quietly and let her know she’s being inappropriate, and if she doesn’t stop then I would look to replace her.

(As an immaterial aside, I didn’t think Spain, more like Turkey or Greece.)

Original poster
Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:54

I do go to Orthodox Church here as it’s beautiful and I have an evil eye charm and jewellery so I’m embracing the culture. Religion here is considered a private matter so outside the home you don’t really discuss it if that makes sense.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 15/01/2026 11:53

I would get rid of them both and bring up my own kids/run my own home. I realise that sounds a bit joyless, but absolutely nobody gets to bring that superstitious magical thinking crap anywhere near my children’s minds.

GoodBones85 · 15/01/2026 11:52

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:24

Obviously we don’t have a footman and butler (but I know someone on a Bangladesh posting who has a butler and a cook) but the driver is married to the housekeeper and he thinks they are both crazy,

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OMG this just gets better and better 🍿 😂

Lovelyview · 15/01/2026 11:51

It sounds entertaining rather than irritating. Lovely cat.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 15/01/2026 11:49

My dad has a cleaner and she’s very very religious. First time I met her she handed me a little Jesus business card thing. I was kind of confused but apparently she’s the best cleaner and his house is actually sparkling. Cleanliness is next to godliness I guess.

Original poster
Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:48

DefiniteMeteor · 15/01/2026 11:33

As a taxpayer - no thank you. That is surely on the list of stuff we don’t need to be paying for.

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I’m presuming you are British. We are not British so I doubt you are a taxpayer of my country. 👍🏻🧿

OP posts:
ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/01/2026 11:48

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:45

This is the cat. Apparently she repels demons.

She was injured living on the street and now she is very happy and loved.

Cat says you should suggest the help worship her instead of their less-cute gods. Failing that, she would like them to continue adoring her and forbids you from upsetting them.

Tumbler777 · 15/01/2026 11:47

I'd agree Nanny worse, took the kids to a craft fayre and came back with Witchy stuff, you don't know what else she's shown the kids or came home with!

slugsinthegarden · 15/01/2026 11:47

Very cute cat!

ThisHazelPombear · 15/01/2026 11:47

Aww, she is a very pretty cat.

Original poster
Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:47

Ilovelurchers · 15/01/2026 11:45

My butler has different views than me on the sanctity of marriage, and it's really started to get me down.

But what's an average girl to do?

I feel you, OP. ;)

I know to a lot of people it seems funny but this is how a lot of people live overseas. Diplomats, people working in oil or banking etc. And when you have people in your home wittering on about religion it’s annoying.

OP posts:
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