Page 12 | My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

Claradiplomatique · 2026-01-15T11:15:04+00:00

We live overseas btw for anyone wondering. So I have a lovely housekeeper who is very…religious. She tells me off when she sees the children’s toys with horns (dragons, dinosaurs, Yoga Goat) or if she sees any children’s books about magic or witches. My own tarot cards and crystals are tucked into a drawer. There is somewhat of a language barrier as I think we are having a normal conversation and she says “Jesus is coming soon” out of the blue. There is also an ongoing battle between the nanny (different religion) and the housekeeper as nanny believes in evil eye etc and has given charms to me and the housekeeper says they are “satan’s work.” Nanny took the children to a Halloween craft workshop and came back with witchy dolls and a pumpkin which housekeeper said we should burn. They do however both agree that our rescue street cat is sent from God to protect us. AIBU? Do I double down on the no religion talk or let her go? 🧿🪬

ScholesPanda · 15/01/2026 12:14

Next time she says 'Jesus is coming soon' say 'Right, well you best crack on with the dusting then, you wouldn't want him to be disappointed in your cleaning standards'.

Alicorn1707 · 15/01/2026 12:14

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:19

I am a writer but no, not writing a book on religious household staff!

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"I am a writer" so just use your words @Claradiplomatique 😆(common MN mantra!!)

usedtobeaylis · 15/01/2026 12:14

I'm not really sure what the actual issues it's causing are?

ZemblanityZen · 15/01/2026 12:14

Have you had 'I can't do the ironing because I've just had a shower' ? Something about water and weakness

mbonfield · 15/01/2026 12:13

Time to find someone else

Ygfrhj · 15/01/2026 12:13

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:48

I’m presuming you are British. We are not British so I doubt you are a taxpayer of my country. 👍🏻🧿

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I wondered how you could afford multiple household staff on a UK government salary, now it makes more sense 😅

Glitchesandswitches · 15/01/2026 12:12

Tumbler777 · 15/01/2026 11:47

I'd agree Nanny worse, took the kids to a craft fayre and came back with Witchy stuff, you don't know what else she's shown the kids or came home with!

A halloween craft workshop. If witchy stuff doesn't fit there I don't know where else it would 😁

WatalotIgot · 15/01/2026 12:12

Just follow the cat's advice and actions on this as they are the most intellectual one in this scenario.

EmpressaurusKitty · 15/01/2026 12:11

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:45

This is the cat. Apparently she repels demons.

She was injured living on the street and now she is very happy and loved.

Your housekeeper wouldn’t approve of my cat, she’s got a Ouija board & knows how to use it.

My housekeeper is vey religious and it’s causing issues

InterestedDad37 · 15/01/2026 12:11

If their superstitions are getting in the way of their work and disrupting your household, I'd sack them both! Tell them to take their superstitions elsewhere.
Also, Halloween is an Irish/British/N. European thing - tell them to celebrate their own traditions, and not buy into the global marketing of shit merchandise and ersatz traditions!

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:11

MyKindHiker · 15/01/2026 12:08

I just don't think living in another country that isn't yours where people have different views works like that. The OP could remove all help and do everything herself but the kids will still go to school and have friends and associate with people who have different views. It's up to the parents to teach their kids to filter out the stuff that doesn't align with their own views. We've had nannies who have had different religions but as long as they've aligned on fundamental values, ie: what's right and wrong, it doesn't matter.

I'd also note (again, it sounds like you haven't lived abroad) that rejecting all help and becoming a full time SAHM in a foreign country is a one-way ticket to becoming extremely isolated and depressed. Many places don't have school gates cultures or coffee mornings like that.

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I’ve lived in several different countries. The assumption that I must be some parochial Little Englander because I wouldn’t let people with pernicious and damaging beliefs bring up my children is bizarre.

FreeWillyPorFavor · 15/01/2026 12:10

Oh I love this! Our housekeeper (also abroad) is obsessed with our cats and it’s a battle to stop her over feeding them.

No religious drama though 😞 I think I’d go with another poster’s suggestion of just saying ‘it’s not a problem for us’ and diverting onto the cat.

tipsyraven · 15/01/2026 12:10

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:06

If this was a working class single mother allowing elderly neighbours to indoctrinate her children with satan fantasies and superstitions while she worked night shifts, I doubt you’d be fangirling so hard.

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Fangirling? Grow up.

Living abroad as a child certainly enriched my life, I’m more tolerant of different cultural practices for a start.

Blorengia · 15/01/2026 12:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

😂

KoalaKoKo · 15/01/2026 12:09

As long as she is not aggressive about it I would just tell her that you kindly disagree or engage in a light debate on spirituality maybe tell her some of your own or about some other religions and tell her as you feel spirituality is a rather personal thing that you would rather that she didn't criticise your beliefs or force hers upon you. There is such a diversity of religions in the world, I always find it fascinating to hear more about different ones as long as it isn't shoved down your throat. I think firing her would be extreme unless she is being cross or aggressive about it. Would it be easy for her to get another posting? How would it impact her life? Your cat is gorgeous btw!

MyKindHiker · 15/01/2026 12:08

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 11:53

I would get rid of them both and bring up my own kids/run my own home. I realise that sounds a bit joyless, but absolutely nobody gets to bring that superstitious magical thinking crap anywhere near my children’s minds.

I just don't think living in another country that isn't yours where people have different views works like that. The OP could remove all help and do everything herself but the kids will still go to school and have friends and associate with people who have different views. It's up to the parents to teach their kids to filter out the stuff that doesn't align with their own views. We've had nannies who have had different religions but as long as they've aligned on fundamental values, ie: what's right and wrong, it doesn't matter.

I'd also note (again, it sounds like you haven't lived abroad) that rejecting all help and becoming a full time SAHM in a foreign country is a one-way ticket to becoming extremely isolated and depressed. Many places don't have school gates cultures or coffee mornings like that.

weaselyeyes · 15/01/2026 12:08

That cat could absolutely repel demons!

I think just try to enforce a no discussion of any kind of religion in the house rule and keep them both. Obviously they'll find it hard to comply, but it will give you a good reason to intervene/disapprove/shut it down. You could stress you want to respect everyone's beliefs, but they need to keep them to themselves. As long as you can suppress any open hostilities or arguments, it sounds fine.

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/01/2026 12:07

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 11:45

This is the cat. Apparently she repels demons.

She was injured living on the street and now she is very happy and loved.

Cute cat

Glitchesandswitches · 15/01/2026 12:07

Team nanny. I have evil eye above my door.

Original poster

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 12:06

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:01

Meh, it’s a choice to live like that. It’s not a choice I would make. You’re allowing random strangers with batshit views to influence your children.

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Well it’s a good job you aren’t in the Foreign Service then.

There are enormous privileges in this life and we can acknowledge we are very fortunate. I wouldn’t swap it for working in Walmart (for example). Other people would hate this life and are happy in their home town working at Walmart. Everyone is different and makes choices that work for their family.

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sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:06

tipsyraven · 15/01/2026 12:04

Or she is allowing living in another culture to enrich her children’s experience of life.

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If this was a working class single mother allowing elderly neighbours to indoctrinate her children with satan fantasies and superstitions while she worked night shifts, I doubt you’d be fangirling so hard.

Goldfsh · 15/01/2026 12:04

I love it. I agree that if the cat is happy with both, accept this as a marvellous bit of colour in a dull world.

I used to have a very religious cleaner who would start her session by loudly exorcising and blessing the house. I rather enjoyed it!

tipsyraven · 15/01/2026 12:04

sprigatito · 15/01/2026 12:01

Meh, it’s a choice to live like that. It’s not a choice I would make. You’re allowing random strangers with batshit views to influence your children.

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Or she is allowing living in another culture to enrich her children’s experience of life.

Mangelwurzelfortea · 15/01/2026 12:03

Don't sack either of them! This sounds fascinating! And also you're probably getting good luck from all sorts of different gods, plus the cat.

Original poster

Claradiplomatique · 15/01/2026 12:03

Bluemin · 15/01/2026 11:57

I'm intrigued that you attend church but then say things like "wittering about religion" and use tarot cards and crystals which the church views as occult practices. Sounds like your own views might be a bit confused.

Edited

I enjoy the beauty of the orthodox mass, just like I occasionally visit a mosque. My own beliefs are personal but I dabble in a few things and I am interested in religion, just not being preached at.

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