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Original poster

Afternoon tea difficulty

388 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 22:29

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

OP posts:
IreneFromSkibbereen · 16/01/2026 02:38

PhantomAfternoonTea · 14/01/2026 22:33

She can skip the sandwiches then. I don't blame the hotel for not changing the fillings on offer, they're not required to cater for fussy eaters.

How hard can it be to make a basic sandwich with a slice of cheddar cheese? A six year old could do it in minutes.

This isn’t “fussy eating”, it’s a very modest request, and if a hotel cannot even do that much for a customer then I would not be going back there.

RawBloomers · 16/01/2026 00:33

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 23:47

No, they have a reputation to keep up. They have to try and look classy and sophisticated, not like a Harvester.

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Which they mainly do by graciously acquiescing to what their guests want.

The idea that the sort of people expensive hotels are after would never want something as “Disney” (which - how the hell do you make that association) as a cheese sandwich is ridiculous.

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 23:47

RawBloomers · 15/01/2026 23:40

They normally just want money, and people with money. And people with money are famously picky.

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No, they have a reputation to keep up. They have to try and look classy and sophisticated, not like a Harvester.

CautiousLurker2 · 15/01/2026 23:46

notacooldad · 15/01/2026 15:21

Apparently its genetic - they have the olfactory-receptor genes that react to the aldehyde in coriander leaves. It genuinely tastes like soap to them - the adehyde is found in the leaves, not the seeds that are used in dried coriander, so they can eat that without issue.
I find all this stuff interesting! I didnt know about the leaves and seeds.

Only know about it because DH’s best mate hated coriander and yet was a trained chef, and a curry fiend. Had to insist on the coriander being served in the side and not on the dish. I’d never heard of it before either!

Can you imagine if chocolate tasted like soap? Who would need weight loss jabs?!

RawBloomers · 15/01/2026 23:40

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 20:25

I assume prestige hotels would rather have sophisticated grown-ups staying with them, not Disney adults.

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They normally just want money, and people with money. And people with money are famously picky.

RawBloomers · 15/01/2026 23:39

TheAverageJoanne · 15/01/2026 17:34

I booked yesterday which is 96 hours ahead!

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It probably doesn't get much easier because you book further ahead. They need notice so they can make sure to have the right number of each little cake, each type of bread, etc. But they aren't going to be able to prep the sandwiches days in advance.

Have you ever tried doing a tea like a good tea place does at home for a big group of people? It's difficult. All of those sandwiches need making really close to the time they're going to be eaten, but they're fiddly and need lots of different ingredients, so you have to be organized and plan. Have a well refined production line. One plate being different is a problem you have to be constantly aware of, or do separately from the main line.

I'm not saying you're unreasonable because they told you they could do it so they ought to do it with good grace. And it's really bad of the to back out of that commitment after they said they'd do it. I'm just saying it isn't a simple change that is inconsequential, so I can see why a place might not be prepared to be that flexible about it.

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 22:58

Well, that's prestige hotels for you.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 15/01/2026 22:05

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 20:25

I assume prestige hotels would rather have sophisticated grown-ups staying with them, not Disney adults.

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What a snotty, rude attitude

Neighboursnumber1fan · 15/01/2026 21:49

i Would also only eat cheese sandwiches (I dont really like afternoon tea anyway) I have previously just ordered a kids menu to get the cheese sandwiches.

I have also been offered cottage cheese and cucumber sandwich’s when I asked for a plain cheese sandwich. They were 🤮

BunnyLake · 15/01/2026 21:39

TheAverageJoanne · 15/01/2026 15:56

There's only one option. Singular. Much less choice than for meat eaters.

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Is there really nowhere else you could go instead?

BunnyLake · 15/01/2026 21:37

JacknDiane · 15/01/2026 11:10

Would she eat wafer thin ham Barbara ?

If memory serves me that was The Royal Family? 😂

MasterBeth · 15/01/2026 20:25

BIossomtoes · 15/01/2026 19:14

Why not? What difference could it possibly make to them which menu someone orders from?

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I assume prestige hotels would rather have sophisticated grown-ups staying with them, not Disney adults.

Homegrownberries · 15/01/2026 19:46

BIossomtoes · 15/01/2026 19:14

Why not? What difference could it possibly make to them which menu someone orders from?

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You'd have to ask them.

BIossomtoes · 15/01/2026 19:14

Homegrownberries · 15/01/2026 19:12

Prestige Hotels aren't generally geared towards adults who need to order off the kids menu.

Why not? What difference could it possibly make to them which menu someone orders from?

Homegrownberries · 15/01/2026 19:12

Prestige Hotels aren't generally geared towards adults who need to order off the kids menu.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 15/01/2026 19:12

TheAverageJoanne · 15/01/2026 17:34

I booked yesterday which is 96 hours ahead!

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But why did you book somewhere without a veggie option if there's a veggie going....

notacooldad · 15/01/2026 19:08

Arguably (and I know there will be those who argue!) the vegetarians have the same choice as everyone else but have chosen not to eat the meat options. Obviously, people with allergies and intolerances don't have the same choices.
Thats a bit rough attitude on people not eating due to religious and cultural reasons!
Im not arguing, just saying!

Henriella · 15/01/2026 18:37

Obscurity · 15/01/2026 18:22

So? It’s a catering option.

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Ah come on!

Womaninhouse17 · 15/01/2026 18:32

TiredMum2026 · 15/01/2026 17:56

A lot of vegetarians don't eat egg...

I also don't know many meat eaters that get one option and would be entirely happy with it. Why should vegetarians have to suck up one option?

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Arguably (and I know there will be those who argue!) the vegetarians have the same choice as everyone else but have chosen not to eat the meat options. Obviously, people with allergies and intolerances don't have the same choices.

Obscurity · 15/01/2026 18:22

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 15/01/2026 18:12

Because it’s a lie?

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So? It’s a catering option.

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 15/01/2026 18:12

Obscurity · 15/01/2026 17:53

Why are you not using the allergy or food intolerance reason if that’s an option?

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Because it’s a lie?

TiredMum2026 · 15/01/2026 17:56

YouWillNeverGuessMyUsername · 15/01/2026 06:43

I bet they do provide a vegetarian one and the friend just won't eat most of the choices.

She only wants cheese apparently. So no egg, no cucumber, no chickpeas or avocado or anything

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A lot of vegetarians don't eat egg...

I also don't know many meat eaters that get one option and would be entirely happy with it. Why should vegetarians have to suck up one option?

Obscurity · 15/01/2026 17:53

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 22:29

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

Why are you not using the allergy or food intolerance reason if that’s an option?

littlemousebigcheese · 15/01/2026 17:49

ShowMeTheSea · 15/01/2026 13:49

So many places have a vegetarian afternoon tea menu though?!
It baffles me that people don't check whether there's a vegetarian menu first before going, and then secondly act all surprised and put out when there's not much (or any choice) for them when they get there seeing as they've ordered a "normal" (in other words non veggie option that's going to include meat and/or fish!)
I mean, sorry but that's common sense, surely?

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I agree but this one didn’t! It had one menu, no subs accepted. I’m not saying it’s ok, and I think there should be flexibility esp if they are making them fresh as you would think and hope for given the absolute rip off prices most charge!

BIossomtoes · 15/01/2026 17:44

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/01/2026 08:49

I have got her a Betty's voucher instead and we're going to go for a meal instead of afternoon tea. My friend can therefore pick what she wants from the (extensive!) menu rather than feeling that she's had to be 'catered for' specially. She absolutely hates to put anyone to any trouble and she really is restricted in her sandwich choices.

So we'll have a slap up meal instead!

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Good plan. Make sure you tell them it’s her birthday.