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Original poster

Afternoon tea difficulty

388 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 22:29

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 16/01/2026 15:03

TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 14:07

We're not using vouchers.

@KaleidoscopeSmile report if you think I'm fibbing.

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And so WHY did you book THIS place when it doesn't cater for your needs???

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 16/01/2026 15:02

ShowMeTheSea · 16/01/2026 12:22

This has been asked several times, but no answer

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I know
I ask it every time she says about there being no veggie option

I would be interested to know why

KaleidoscopeSmile · 16/01/2026 14:54

TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 14:07

We're not using vouchers.

@KaleidoscopeSmile report if you think I'm fibbing.

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Certainly not. Reporting people isn't my thing unless they're deliberately trying to wind people up..

I don't think you're lying, I just don't think they don't do a vegetarian version.

You haven't said you've asked them, just that you can't see it on their website

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 14:14

@TheAverageJoanne You still haven't answered why your group is so keen to go to this particular hotel when they can't meet your friends dietary needs. Why can't you go back to one of the places you've been to before where your friend can get a cheese sandwich and everyone's happy?

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 14:07

CactusSwoonedEnding · 16/01/2026 11:39

I expect OP is using a Wowcher or similar special offer which means the hotel isn't actually making any profit so don't have any reason to give any more than the basic minimum, and going elsewhere would mean paying the full cost which OP doesn't want to do and would rather stick with a basic unsatisfactory service.

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We're not using vouchers.

@KaleidoscopeSmile report if you think I'm fibbing.

OP posts:
KaleidoscopeSmile · 16/01/2026 13:13

I don't believe for one second that this hotel doesn't do a separate vegetarian afternoon tea and she'd need to order that rather them getting them to change the regular version

ShowMeTheSea · 16/01/2026 12:22

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 16/01/2026 11:42

So WHY did you book a venue which doesn't cater for veggies????

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This has been asked several times, but no answer

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 16/01/2026 11:42

TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 10:39

There's none of those options. It's cream cheese and cucumber or nothing if you're not a meat eater. They've confirmed this.

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So WHY did you book a venue which doesn't cater for veggies????

CactusSwoonedEnding · 16/01/2026 11:39

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 11:32

So why go to this particular place? Why not find somewhere that will adapt to your friend? You've said you've been places before and had no issues, why not reward that service and go back rather than somewhere that you're already planning on complaining about?

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I expect OP is using a Wowcher or similar special offer which means the hotel isn't actually making any profit so don't have any reason to give any more than the basic minimum, and going elsewhere would mean paying the full cost which OP doesn't want to do and would rather stick with a basic unsatisfactory service.

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 11:32

TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 10:39

There's none of those options. It's cream cheese and cucumber or nothing if you're not a meat eater. They've confirmed this.

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So why go to this particular place? Why not find somewhere that will adapt to your friend? You've said you've been places before and had no issues, why not reward that service and go back rather than somewhere that you're already planning on complaining about?

Obscurity · 16/01/2026 11:25

Bjorkdidit · 16/01/2026 11:21

But when you have more than one food 'issue' it compounds into a severely restricted choice.

So here we have a vegetarian who doesn't like cheese who is going to probably the only hotel in the country that doesn't offer a properly varied vegetarian (or vegan as she doesn't like cheese) afternoon tea sandwich selection. That's always going to be difficult.

She does like cheese. She wants a simple cheese sandwich that’s available on the kids menu OR should she have a food intolerance or allergy to their current adult menu.

ANiceBigCupOfTea · 16/01/2026 11:23

I think it's bonkers for a hotel to offer afternoon tea and not make a few changes for taste/dietary preferences, and particularly when that request is something as simple as plain cheese.

Bjorkdidit · 16/01/2026 11:21

But when you have more than one food 'issue' it compounds into a severely restricted choice.

So here we have a vegetarian who doesn't like cheese who is going to probably the only hotel in the country that doesn't offer a properly varied vegetarian (or vegan as she doesn't like cheese) afternoon tea sandwich selection. That's always going to be difficult.

IreneFromSkibbereen · 16/01/2026 11:11

TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 10:39

There's none of those options. It's cream cheese and cucumber or nothing if you're not a meat eater. They've confirmed this.

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This is exactly what’s wrong with the hotel’s attitude, the assumption that because a person is vegetarian, they will automatically like cheese - all cheese and every cheese, served with anything.

Imagine saying this to a meat-eater:

“What do you mean you don’t like liver? You’re a meat eater aren’t you?”

Reply: “yes, but I dislike liver.”

Would you call the liver-hater a fussy eater? I wouldn’t.

I’m not a vegetarian. I love most cheeses, but I don’t happen to like cream cheese. Does that make me a fusspot?

It’s the attitude that if someone has the audacity to be a vegetarian, then they should count themselves lucky to get anything at all. But vegetarianism has been around for a long time, it’s not particularly unusual, and I would have thought that people, especially catering establishments, would understand this.

(To be fair on contemporary hotels and restaurants, I’ve usually found them to be happy to accommodate my vegetarian relatives and friends and offer them a wide range of options.)

Henriella · 16/01/2026 10:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

She had read the menus online and saw that cheese sandwiches were standard on the children’s menu. So perhaps that’s why she only asked for cheese?

But the OP can clarify if she wishes.

Fuggleup · 16/01/2026 10:42

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Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 16/01/2026 10:39

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 10:23

OP still hasn’t actually clarified (I think) if there is literally no vegetarian option other than paying for the full afternoon tea and leaving the meat sandwiches OR if there is a vegetarian tea option but her friend just doesn’t like the fillings (egg mayo, med veg and hummus etc) and wants them swapped out corn just cheese.

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There's none of those options. It's cream cheese and cucumber or nothing if you're not a meat eater. They've confirmed this.

OP posts:
Fuggleup · 16/01/2026 10:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Fuggleup · 16/01/2026 10:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Obscurity · 16/01/2026 10:33

Whaleandsnail6 · 16/01/2026 09:35

Or the customer could order something that is not part of a set menu so they have more choice.

The only thing on offer at this hotel is presumably not afternoon tea.

Op and her friends have chosen to go to a place that does not meet the vegetarian needs of one of the guests...logic would say 1) ask if changes can be made 2)when told no due to set afternoon tea menu, guest who wants the change either orders something else off the menu or the party chooses to dine elsewhere

No making up allergies needed.

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Yes, these are reasonable options too.

Obscurity · 16/01/2026 10:32

Henriella · 16/01/2026 09:10

No, not so be it!!!!
And it’s on liars when they lie.

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😂

Henriella · 16/01/2026 10:28

WirelessInternet · 16/01/2026 09:35

That’s not what the OP said though, she specifically said that the friend only eats sandwiches that are cheese. If the other sandwiches are also not suitable for her ladyship then she can jog on - this person is a pain in the arse and I wouldn’t be going to all this effort to accommodate someone who thinks she’s special.

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OP clarified in a later post that her friend was vegetarian.
“And stop saying fussy. She's a vegetarian.”

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 10:26

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 10:23

OP still hasn’t actually clarified (I think) if there is literally no vegetarian option other than paying for the full afternoon tea and leaving the meat sandwiches OR if there is a vegetarian tea option but her friend just doesn’t like the fillings (egg mayo, med veg and hummus etc) and wants them swapped out corn just cheese.

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Sorry - hit send too soon!

Either way - it’s clearly not suitable for friend when they’ve been to places before in the past that are so why is all this difficulty needed! Just go where you know she’ll be catered for/somewhere with a vegetarian menu for your vegetarian friend.

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 10:23

WirelessInternet · 16/01/2026 09:35

That’s not what the OP said though, she specifically said that the friend only eats sandwiches that are cheese. If the other sandwiches are also not suitable for her ladyship then she can jog on - this person is a pain in the arse and I wouldn’t be going to all this effort to accommodate someone who thinks she’s special.

Show quote history

OP still hasn’t actually clarified (I think) if there is literally no vegetarian option other than paying for the full afternoon tea and leaving the meat sandwiches OR if there is a vegetarian tea option but her friend just doesn’t like the fillings (egg mayo, med veg and hummus etc) and wants them swapped out corn just cheese.

Aethelredtheunsteady · 16/01/2026 10:20

MasterBeth · 16/01/2026 09:04

Somehow, I don't think this hotel was The Ritz.

The Ritz has the staff and the budget to do anything its clients want.

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And has a vegetarian menu…