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AIBU?

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Original poster

Afternoon tea difficulty

388 replies

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 22:29

Well it's ATBU. Booked afternoon tea for a few friends on Saturday for a birthday. One person only eats cheese on sandwiches but she'll have chutney and things like that on them.

Unfortunately they are being rather difficult. When I requested cheese sandwiches when I booked she had to check with her manager who said it would be OK. They phoned today saying they could only provide cream cheese & cucumber, but not plain cheese! I pointed out plain cheese was available on the children's menu but they weren't able to change the sandwich selection, only for allergy or food intolerance.

AIBU to not leave them a tip, grumble on Trip Advisor and complain to them? We want it to go ahead. I'm going to make some and take along in a sandwich box for this person, too. She doesn't eat meat or fish.

This is a prestige hotel that charges a lot btw.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 14/01/2026 23:42

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:06

No it isn't! She eats all the sweet things. Other places have provided a range of cheese sandwiches in the past. Also vegetarian vol au vents and sausage roll equivalents have been available.

Also I don't think there's anything fussy about not liking certain foodstuffs. How many of us will eat absolutely anything?

Edited
Show quote history

I'm fussy but there is usually only one sandwich I don't like

So I swap with someone.

I can see why they don't want to change it completely

sittingonabeach · 14/01/2026 23:41

Do they not do sausage rolls as well or other meaty savoury choices, so she will miss out on that course of the meal too?

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:41

You know what? I think we'll leave the embarrassing fusspot at home and eat her share!

OP posts:
CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 14/01/2026 23:41

I think if someone will only eat cheese sandwiches, it’s a bit pointless them going along to an afternoon tea which serves a selection of sandwiches, none of which are cheese. The menu is not suited to her diet and tastes. So you either cater to her and pick a venue which serves cheese sandwiches or she puts up with missing the parts she doesn’t want to eat and perhaps has some extra cake while someone has her unwanted sandwiches. The hotel clearly doesn’t want to make an adult personal cheese sandwiches for whatever reason.

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:40

Alpacajigsaw · 14/01/2026 23:37

and jeez don’t take a Tupperware with your own cheese sandwiches. I’m cringing so bad for you OP.

Awww are you? That's kind of you.

OP posts:
BeaLola · 14/01/2026 23:39

Just tell them she's rather tall for her age and order the child's menu ....

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:39

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 14/01/2026 23:33

Only eats cheese sarnies? FFS just opt for the veggie option and be done with it!

There isn't one. I've just checked. Seriously. I've read it three times. There's a range of sandwiches for meat eaters, three different choices, but only cream cheese and cucumber for vegetarians. None of that is vegan. Which isn't relevant to us but will be for others. So those fusspots who don't like cream cheese are stuffed!

OP posts:
Christmaseree · 14/01/2026 23:38

I’ve never had a cheese sandwich with afternoon tea.

Alpacajigsaw · 14/01/2026 23:37

and jeez don’t take a Tupperware with your own cheese sandwiches. I’m cringing so bad for you OP.

Alpacajigsaw · 14/01/2026 23:35

They ate BU not to rustle up a few cheese buttiex but your friend is an embarrassment. I’d be so mortified to go for afternoon tea with someone who only ate cheese sarnies

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 14/01/2026 23:35

wheresthesnowgone · 14/01/2026 23:16

Literally all she has to do is not eat the freaking sandwiches.

Life is so unfair isn't it.....

This.

Verite1 · 14/01/2026 23:35

I would be incredibly surprised they don’t have a vegetarian menu. Have you actually asked as opposed to simply asking them to swap fillings?
And if not, why have you chosen to book one of the few places that don’t have a vegetarian option when one of your party is vegetarian?

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 14/01/2026 23:33

Only eats cheese sarnies? FFS just opt for the veggie option and be done with it!

Keroppi · 14/01/2026 23:32

What's wrong with cream cheese and cucumber sorry? That's vegetarian

ShowMeTheSea · 14/01/2026 23:31

If she's vegetarian then, can't she ask to see the vegetarian/vegan menu?
Most afternoon teas do one. I don't see much point in getting a non vegetarian afternoon tea if you're a veggie!

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:31

ShowMeTheSea · 14/01/2026 23:25

I was literally just thinking that after posting!
Can you imagine - they happily accommodate a plain cheese sandwich in their fancy afternoon tea, then OP /mate uploads their "look at what we've got in this so called fancy afternoon tea" package to their FB or whatever, it's not a great endorsement, is it 😁
They might be covering their backs. Don't blame them if so.
Afternoon teas are about the experience. A plain cheese cheddar sandwich is something you can knock up yourself at home.

Show quote history

Oh don't be silly. Of course we're not going to do that.

OP posts:
Henriella · 14/01/2026 23:29

That’s a pity @TheAverageJoanne.
The ones I’ve been to usually have vegetarian or vegan afternoon tea menus you can look at instead of the regular menu. Are you sure that’s not the case?

ShowMeTheSea · 14/01/2026 23:28

No, I don't play games and pretend to be someone else

Oh good, you sometimes see confusing reverses or some details changed on here so good to know 🙂

ShowMeTheSea · 14/01/2026 23:25

Springflowersyay · 14/01/2026 22:48

The hotel will be imagining a scenario where they provide plain cheese sandwiches and their guest complains that they’ve been charged the price of afternoon tea and only been supplied with cheese sandwiches, rather than their full menu……

I was literally just thinking that after posting!
Can you imagine - they happily accommodate a plain cheese sandwich in their fancy afternoon tea, then OP /mate uploads their "look at what we've got in this so called fancy afternoon tea" package to their FB or whatever, it's not a great endorsement, is it 😁
They might be covering their backs. Don't blame them if so.
Afternoon teas are about the experience. A plain cheese cheddar sandwich is something you can knock up yourself at home.

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:22

Henriella · 14/01/2026 23:17

They usually have options to cater for vegetarians ime. Does the hotel
offer anything like that?

Doesn't look like it. The other options are smoked salmon, Ham and mustard. Chicken and lemon Mayo. I've told her to dress up as Minnie Mouse and pretend she's 12 and get some cheese sandwiches.

There's a few really unpleasant comments on this thread.

Solved anyway, because she's bringing her own.

@ShowMeTheSea No, I don't play games and pretend to be someone else.

OP posts:
ShowMeTheSea · 14/01/2026 23:20

TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:15

I think it's the simplest thing to accommodate. None of us are "fussy" and your point @ShowMeTheSea is irrelevant and hyperbole. I've never seen Bolognese sauce at an afternoon tea but there's always a first time I guess. For example I don't like smoked salmon but another friend does so we'll trade. We would have done this on Saturday anyway, but with just Philadelphia on the menu it's going to be bland.

And stop saying fussy. She's a vegetarian.

Edited

I didn't mean Bolognese sauce at the afternoon tea, I completely agree that would be weird 😂
I meant if everyone phoned up with their preferences and tweaks to the menu they'd have to draw the line somewhere.
We'll have to agree to disagree that your friend (or is it really you? As it sounds like you as you're getting awfully defensive lol) isn't fussy as sounds a tad fussy to me.
Just eat the sweet stuff then or book somewhere you actually like the sound of.

Henriella · 14/01/2026 23:17

They usually have options to cater for vegetarians ime. Does the hotel
offer anything like that?

wheresthesnowgone · 14/01/2026 23:16

Literally all she has to do is not eat the freaking sandwiches.

Life is so unfair isn't it.....

Original poster
TheAverageJoanne · 14/01/2026 23:15

I think it's the simplest thing to accommodate. None of us are "fussy" and your point @ShowMeTheSea is irrelevant and hyperbole. I've never seen Bolognese sauce at an afternoon tea but there's always a first time I guess. For example I don't like smoked salmon but another friend does so we'll trade. We would have done this on Saturday anyway, but with just Philadelphia on the menu it's going to be bland.

And stop saying fussy. She's a vegetarian.

OP posts:
stichguru · 14/01/2026 23:12

I'm in two minds about this. On one hand doesn't the hotel want their customers to be happy? Changing to a filling that they have in stock isn't hard, why not do it to please the customer? On the other hand, there is a reason why they do afternoon tea as a set and fairly narrow menu, to do with stocking and making things in a streamlined way to lower costs and hassle. Why did your fussy friend not check whether she liked the menu and not come when she realised she didn't like it. Is their someone in the group who she could swap sandwiches with? (Not that anyone should, but would anyone be happy to?)