Afternoon tea difficulty

I went with friends for afternoon tea to celebrate a birthday recently. One was vegan, one was pescatarian and one hates mayo! Then there was the tea order. One wanted Earl grey, one just hot water with the tea bag on the side for her to dunk, and one wanted coke instead. The patient waiter noted all of the above and agreed to it all except the mayo free sandwiches as they were pre-prepared. As they were carrying in the trays they dropped two on the floor and smashed them. When they brought the replacements magically they had managed to make some mayo free sandwiches!
I was so embarrassed at being part of such a high maintenance group when I am happy with builders tea and anything I am given. We left a big tip! I’m sure this fussy approach is a recent thing as I don’t remember my mother or grandmother ever fretting about fillings. There did used to be a tea menu though, with Darjeeling or Lapsang or Lady grey. Perhaps it is about profit margins.

I think it can even affect their licence if you bring in your own food

It's certainly impolite and rude and could get you thrown out

The problem is, they don't offer 'bespoke' afternoon teas so you can't blame them for not giving you something they never promised. Yes it's only 'a few slices of cheese' but if they have hundreds of people coming through in a day (if it's one of the big London hotels, that will be the case) and everyone wants their own unique variant, it's going to take way longer to prepare and the cost will increase significantly. It sounds like afternoon tea will be wasted on this person. Also, sneaking in your own food is likely to get you kicked out. And I don't see why punishing the waiting staff by not tipping is going to achieve anything. Your waiter/waitress had nothing to do with the decision about cheese sandwiches.

Quite.

Some restaurants would not allow outside food to be brought in on health and safety grounds. If you brought in something undercooked it might bring Salmonella or Norovirus which be attributed to the restaurant and in any case maybe passed on.

TBH I find Afternoon tea a bit of a pain anyway.Somewhere between lunch and Dinner ! Anyway I think YABU. The Hotel has a menu that includes cream cheese and cucumber ,Thats fine .My friend is also veggie and would just pass on what she doesnt like.I think friend is being a little fussy.There are usually pastries and cakes. Surely thats enough anyway .With lashings of tea to wash it down of course!

I think they are unreasonable in not catering for a few cheese sandwiches when they actually have them on the children's menu. It's not as if they never have cheese in the kitchen and have to specially get in in. I am surprised they will not accommodate this when you have asked in advance. Afternoon teas are not cheap and I would think a request like this, requested in advance wouldn't be a hardship.

And, no, you absolutely cannot open up your tupperware 🤣

I don't like smoked salmon or egg and lots of afternoon tea places include these. I just either forgo all the sandwiches or eat the one triangle I like and focus on the cakes. It's all about the cake really anyway 🤣

Did you ring them and say "we have 1 vegetarian, can you cater for her?" Or did you say "1 of our party will only eat plain cheese sandwiches so can you make those?"

Premier Inn perhaps 😏

I’ve googled a couple of random good hotels (not in London) and they offer vegetarian/vegan alternatives. Why OP chose a place that doesn’t is anyone’s guess.

Wouldn't be any good for me either as I'm vegetarian and allergic to cucumber! But even without allergies to consider, that's a very poor offering for vegetarians. To be honest though, this is why I would never go for afternoon tea, I've never seen one with a menu that would suit me.

Exactly.

Surely you can request cucumber sandwiches without the cream cheese?

What you definitely can’t do is take your own sandwiches.

As she is vegetarian the correct way was to ask if they provide a vegetarian option of their afternoon tea and order her one but she can’t complain that she doesn’t like their choices - she can comment that vegetarian options are not very exciting or limited or not available.
You could go to a Thai place and have plenty of vegetarian options.

It is a cheese sandwich, not a huge ask for a prestigious hotel!

Hotel are being ridiculous, as long as you are still paying the same they should accommodate.
Ring and ask to discuss with the manager.

i have been to loads of afternoon teas, there are always a couple of items I don’t eat but I eat other things instead. We don’t sit there diving it up equally, there is usually way too much food. She doesn’t need to bring her own sandwiches, can’t she eat extra scones?

Could you ask to add on a children’s afternoon tea and then she can have the cheese sarnies, anyone who doesn’t like one of the cakes for example can have an alternative. As there’s a few of you going, an extra £10-15 to give some flexibility for your friend and others seems a moderate price to pay.

Exactly.

And if you dull it down for the fussy eaters, you're disadvantaging everyone else who're thinking they're going out for a fancy afternoon tea and want something a bit more special than mild cheddar on sliced white bread.

Of course it’s ok not to like certain stuff but then you shouldn’t order it. When I want to book afternoon tea somewhere I look up their menu to check if I fancy it or not and if I don’t fancy everything on the list the next question am I ready to pay the quoted price for what I’m going to eat.
So yes, you are very unreasonable to expect set offer to be changed just because. You could easily choose a different place or go for another option from the menu for this friend (if it’s possible) or (shock horror) she could just leave what she didn’t like or swap with one of others for extra sweet thing.

She’s vegetarian so the other sandwiches the hotel offers aren’t suitable.

I think an adult only eating cheddar cheese sandwiches is a bit annoyingly fussy. I'm not sure an afternoon tea is really what she should be ordering as frankly a main component of afternoon tea is a selection of different, fancy sandwiches.

She should order a cheese sandwich and a cream tea and the rest of you the afternoon tea.

What kind of grown adult is so pathetic that they’ll only eat a sandwich if it’s cheese?

if she wants to be like this just don’t take her. Don’t pander to it. Don’t complain at the hotel because they don’t have a menu that suits her stupid whims. You wouldn’t go to Kwik Fit and complain that they won’t fix a sewing machine.