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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have had a baby after being with DH for less than six months?

117 replies

itwasshelter · 14/01/2026 21:17

Absolute insanity really. I think it’s worked out, hard to say. I do wonder how much we really have in common?

OP posts:
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Crushed23 · 15/01/2026 16:47

HorseyWoman · 15/01/2026 12:53

Sounds like you met during Covid and during the 2nd lockdown period. Things did seem to move a lot differently back then. You either met and accepted never seeing each other, or met and then were forced together all the time/ formed a bubble so relied on seeing each other a lot. So I can see how this happened. I'm seeing a lot about people who met during Covid now splitting up having moved in together just after meeting, so I think there's a bit of a phenomenon.

This is interesting! I met ex-DP in January 2021 in the depths of lockdown 3 in the UK and looking back, neither of us was in a good place and it was a weird time for everyone so we probably ‘settled’. I remember losing attraction to him as things returned to normal so that by January 2022 we had our first big fight about mismatched interest in sex. Unfortunately the relationship limped on for another 1.5 years until we called it a day. I’m not surprised many Covid couples are breaking up.

PassportPanicFuuuck · 15/01/2026 16:00

TheAutumnCrow · 14/01/2026 21:34

So you didn’t in fact have a baby after being with your DH for less than 6 months?

One way or another the entire thing is totally misleading. She didn't have a baby after six months, she got pregnant within six months; they weren't married at this point, so he wasn't her DH; and finally she obviously doesn't think it was unreasonable as she's gaily talking about having been together for over six years.

But apart from that...

noidea69 · 15/01/2026 13:02

I think this a very stretched out way of you saying "I want to leave my husband and we only got married because i go pregnant."

TheFairyCaravan · 15/01/2026 12:58

I met DH in the October, we got married in the March. I found out I was pregnant on honeymoon, and we’ve been married 32 years this year.

x2boys · 15/01/2026 12:55

I met dh in the February, married him in the August ,pregnant by the following Aprill
Together 21 years now .

HorseyWoman · 15/01/2026 12:53

Sounds like you met during Covid and during the 2nd lockdown period. Things did seem to move a lot differently back then. You either met and accepted never seeing each other, or met and then were forced together all the time/ formed a bubble so relied on seeing each other a lot. So I can see how this happened. I'm seeing a lot about people who met during Covid now splitting up having moved in together just after meeting, so I think there's a bit of a phenomenon.

MillsMollsMands · 15/01/2026 12:49

I was born pretty much 12 months to the day after my parents first date. Contraception failure! They split up when I was 24 but are still very amicable.

BruFord · 15/01/2026 12:47

@itwasshelter I think you made a logical decision tbh, waiting a couple of years could have been risky- although as it turned out, you fell pregnant again easily. So everything’s worked out well!

It’s lovely to read a happy story on MN, we get enough negative ones!!

itwasshelter · 15/01/2026 08:20

I didn’t say or suggest anything to make anybody think I was nineteen. But I don’t really see the point of labouring this. There was a misunderstanding; it’s been cleared up, serves no one to keep dwelling on it.

OP posts:
Brightlittlecanary · 15/01/2026 08:05

BruFord · 15/01/2026 02:30

At 39, getting pregnant after a few months together is very different to a 19 or even a 29-year-old getting pregnant quickly. You were both mature adults and you knew that you’d met the right person to start a family with. I think you’ll be fine. 💐

I agree, this was a planned pregnancy of an older potential mother, which is a major drip feed v I think what a lot of us assumed, a young woman with an unplanned pregnancy.

BruFord · 15/01/2026 02:30

At 39, getting pregnant after a few months together is very different to a 19 or even a 29-year-old getting pregnant quickly. You were both mature adults and you knew that you’d met the right person to start a family with. I think you’ll be fine. 💐

silverwrath · 15/01/2026 02:08

itwasshelter · 14/01/2026 21:31

I met DH in October / November and got pregnant in march. I’m not sure what there is to ‘get.’

Have you been drinking? 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

BlueOrange99 · 15/01/2026 01:43

What are you asking here? Or just thinning out loud?

HelenaWaiting · 15/01/2026 01:25

Congratulations on your fast decision making and your happy little family 💐

SailingIntoSunset · 15/01/2026 01:16

itwasshelter · 14/01/2026 21:31

I met DH in October / November and got pregnant in march. I’m not sure what there is to ‘get.’

We didn’t get enough information to fully understand your situation. The confusion isn’t hard to comprehend.

Dogaredabomb · 15/01/2026 01:12

SqishySqashmas · 15/01/2026 00:16

I'm pleased it worked out for you OP but just in case anone reading this thinks rushing into things is a good plan, please be careful. I experienced the opposite, my biggest regret in life.

Yes, me too. Definitely repented at leisure.

Spiralife · 15/01/2026 01:06

Bluebluesummer · 14/01/2026 21:21

My friend has been with her husband for 25 years they got pregnant 4 months in. No one is going to be advertising it but it definitely works sometimes. DH and I were pregnant after 14 months together, we’ve been together 22 years.

Edited

Same. I was pregnant at 3 months and married at 8 months. I was 19.
We were together 25 years and then he cheated with someone half his age.
So yeah it can work.. Doesn't work for me anymore but 25 years 4 kids later he just decided he needed to start over with a new family so got himself a newer model and had another baby. They too were pregnant within 6 months.

Our kids together no longer speak to him and I am delighted with that. I got the best end of the deal.

ActiveTiger · 15/01/2026 01:03

Met on the last day of July married 28 days later had twins 9 months after that and 17 years on still as happy as anything adore DH and all the kids we now have, love my life, my family and ye works for some lol

PinkyFlamingo · 15/01/2026 00:55

itwasshelter · 14/01/2026 21:27

So we’d been together for maybe six months, probably less than that thinking about it, when I got pregnant. Things moved fast.

So you fell pregnant after less than 6 months, you didn't have a baby!

SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2026 00:48

Crushed23 · 14/01/2026 23:02

In a perfect world, yes. But what about a woman who is 39 and wants a baby? Would you recommend she wait 3-5 years to really get to know her partner before TTC? 🧐

and even then, this place is full of threads of guys who changed once a baby arrived. sometimes you just have to trust yourself

SqishySqashmas · 15/01/2026 00:16

I'm pleased it worked out for you OP but just in case anone reading this thinks rushing into things is a good plan, please be careful. I experienced the opposite, my biggest regret in life.

Sunfloweranddaisy · 15/01/2026 00:04

My parents met in the September, found out my mum was pregnant in the December they got married in the February and had me in July! 40 odd years later they are still together and very happy. It’s true when you know you know.

sittingonabeach · 15/01/2026 00:02

Surely women should think about what dad they are providing for their child, they shouldn’t just be thinking about having a child. That’s why so many kids end up with shit dads

BellesAndGraces · 14/01/2026 23:58

itwasshelter · 14/01/2026 21:33

It’s our fourth wedding anniversary this spring. Dd was 15 months. So I guess we’ve been together for around six and a half years. It’s early days in a lot of ways but I do feel I’ve been with him a lifetime! It could easily have gone very wrong though.

You’ve been together 6.5 years and you’re still not sure whether you have anything in common? Maybe you’ll have an inkling after 10 years 😂

DH and I got engaged after 10 months of meeting and were married within 15 months of meeting. When you know, you know. We’ve now been married for 9 years. Every wedding anniversary we joke “and they said it wouldn’t last”, which isn’t actually true but it makes us giggle. Definitely have a few things in common though.

mondaytosunday · 14/01/2026 23:50

Uh don’t you know by now? If you’ve been married almost four years?
You really could have said all that in your original post OP.