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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you check texts? (SMS)

135 replies

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 18:54

Who is in the right here?

Person A: a professional service provider, texts (SMS rather than WhatsApp) their client at 8am on the day of the appt advising the slot (which was for 6pm) is no longer available and asking them to come at 8pm that day or rearrange to a different day.

Person B: the client, has notifications turned off for SMSs on their phone as they get annoyed with getting lots of SMSs about parcel deliveries and from scammers. They don't see the message and turn up at the appointment at the original time to find noone there.

This was only the 2nd appt and Person A has previously communicated only by EMAIL.

VOTE:
YABU = Person A is correct. Person B should check SMSs, especially if they have an appointment.
YANBU = Person B is correct. Person A should have PHONED Person B to ensure they got the message, especially when they didn't respond to the text.

OP posts:
ScaryM0nster · 14/01/2026 20:03

If you provide your mobile number for communication to a service, I think it’s on you to tell them if you don’t actually want communication through that route (given sms and phone calls are both standard functions of a mobile number).

Im in the same age bracket, and would expect a text for an urgent message rather than an email.

Gold standard would be for them to confirm that you’d got the message and if not follow up with a phone call.

In our area the urgent info from schools all goes through an sms alert system.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:00

I'd be v interested to see if responses were skewed by age.

I think anyone 40-50 might be more likely to expect a phonecall.

OP posts:
spicycats · 14/01/2026 19:58

I don’t check texts. It’s all junk. I’m with you on this.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:57

@NewYearNewJob2024 yes, just my 2nd appt so no way of knowing if she in particular cancels routinely (I won't be finding out as I won't be using her again - it's the sort of service where you need to be able to trust/rely on that person and gel with them personally).

What I'm trying to say is that in general, one should not have to check all forms of communication in the lead up to an appt as if being rescheduled on the day is half-expected. Cancelling should be v rare and done by phone call both as it's more courteous to do it personally like that and more chance you will pay attention to a call than a text (given calls are quite rare these days!). I feel a text being fired off gives a vibe of "no biggie" and "don't care if you actually get this message or not".

OP posts:
Missey85 · 14/01/2026 19:55

Should have checked the texts

museumum · 14/01/2026 19:52

Texts are for quick instant short messages. Much more instant than emails and more convenient than answering a phone call. In fact far more people don’t answer calls.

ElizabethsTailor · 14/01/2026 19:51

I would expect a text but then a phone call if no response to the text, given it included a question.

Very unusual decision to not check texts.

ReturnToRiding · 14/01/2026 19:51

I would need a response before I’d be happy they had received it

NewYearNewJob2024 · 14/01/2026 19:50

If it's only your second appointment with him/her (if I've understood you correctly), then you don't really know that they cancel or reschedule appointments routinely. So maybe give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, they did contact you and you have chosen to turn off SMS so that's your issue. However, they should probably have also rang to double check you'd had the message as you didn't respond. I'd prefer a professional to contact me via SMS rather than WhatsApp tbh. I don't understand your issue with SMS notifications as opposed to other notifications!

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:49

@LoveWine123 apparently she'd "forgotten" it was her child's parent's night that night...

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 14/01/2026 19:48

I would have expected a phone call and I think it’s unprofessional for someone to rearrange appointments like this last minute unless there is a real emergency which clearly wasn’t the case as she rearranged for a couple of hours later. It sounds like she gave the slot to someone else. She should have called.

stichguru · 14/01/2026 19:47

Person B should have notified person A that they don't like being contacted by text!

BringBackCatsEyes · 14/01/2026 19:45

I would expect a phone call in this situation. That said, the client shouldn’t be giving out her mobile number if she doesn’t want people to use it.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:42

I'm surprised people think SMS text is a good way to convey an "urgent" message. Call me old-fashioned but that's the rare occasion where I actually pick up the phone and place a call!

OP posts:
Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:41

It's a private professional, not an NHS clinic. Some phones apparently show when an SMS text is read, a bit like whatsapp. (Mine shows 2 blue-ed in circles) So she may have even been able to tell it wasn't read. Indeed, it would have been reasonable to assume the text hadn't been read as no response was received to the question "can you come 2hrs later?"

OP posts:
Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:39

I actually think it's a shame that we all have to constantly check every form of communication on the day we have appts. Being cancelled or rescheduled by a supposed professional really shouldn't be routine.

OP posts:
Sycamoretrees · 14/01/2026 19:38

Surely if you choose to turn of your notifications then you can't complain when you're not notified about something.... or am I missing something?

Owly11 · 14/01/2026 19:38

What do you mean who is correct? The professional sent a text as it was urgent and emails are not a good way to send urgent messages, so entirely understandable and appropriate. The client didn't get the text due to not using texts - a rather unusual decision but one that she is obviously free to make. The result of this was inconvenience for the client. No one is right or wrong. However I am surprised that the professional didn't give a follow up call when the client didn't reply - if it is a private professional then that is shoddy but if it was a busy NHS clinic then it's just one of those things.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:37

IMHO a phonecall, given the relatively short notice, would have been more courteous than a text as well as ensuring the person definitely got the message.

This person is a meant to be a professional. Cancelling on the day by text is, imho, something a feckless online dater does. It's almost a bit cowardly!

My solicitor, vet, builder, etc etc all have WhatsApp Business accounts.

OP posts:
FerrisWheelsandLilacs · 14/01/2026 19:33

I'd expect correspondence like that to come via SMS. It does from my chiropractor, private hospital, nail lady and hair dresser. My dog physio and my hobby club WhatsApp instead, but I have my WhatsApp notifications off but know to check them when I have appointments.

Turning SMS off seems so weird to me - it's how people contact you with som level of urgency. If I need to contact someone urgently I would do it in the following order (depending on who it was):

Phone
SMS
Whatsapp
Social media DM (I'd skip this if it was a professional contact)
Email (Email would come after phone for a professional contact)

Mugtree · 14/01/2026 19:31

I'd think it was odd to get a WhatsApp from a professional.

I have all notification sounds turned off, but I'd see a text within 24 hours.

MotorbikeStuntRider · 14/01/2026 19:30

I've never used WhatsApp and wouldn't expect a professional to contact me using it. Never known anyone to turn off text notifications.

However, if they didn't receive a reply perhaps they should have telephoned them instead.

BlossomLeaves · 14/01/2026 19:29

Unreasonable to not check text messages. Also unreasonable not to follow up with a call or email on something urgent like a last minute appointment change.

Teenagerantruns · 14/01/2026 19:28

If person A didnt get a reply they should have called to check person B had received txt.

shouldofgotamortage · 14/01/2026 19:27

i would of expected a phone call, not a text.

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