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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you check texts? (SMS)

135 replies

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 18:54

Who is in the right here?

Person A: a professional service provider, texts (SMS rather than WhatsApp) their client at 8am on the day of the appt advising the slot (which was for 6pm) is no longer available and asking them to come at 8pm that day or rearrange to a different day.

Person B: the client, has notifications turned off for SMSs on their phone as they get annoyed with getting lots of SMSs about parcel deliveries and from scammers. They don't see the message and turn up at the appointment at the original time to find noone there.

This was only the 2nd appt and Person A has previously communicated only by EMAIL.

VOTE:
YABU = Person A is correct. Person B should check SMSs, especially if they have an appointment.
YANBU = Person B is correct. Person A should have PHONED Person B to ensure they got the message, especially when they didn't respond to the text.

OP posts:
FunMustard · 14/01/2026 21:03

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 19:42

I'm surprised people think SMS text is a good way to convey an "urgent" message. Call me old-fashioned but that's the rare occasion where I actually pick up the phone and place a call!

I'm surprised that people don't set their phones to only deliver notifications for people in their contacts list.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 21:01

@Alltheyellowbirds what about a phonecall? that's the hardest to miss?

@LightYearsAgo those are almost all national companies. This is a single private individual.

OP posts:
Alltheyellowbirds · 14/01/2026 20:59

If it is a last minute change of plan I would far rather they texted/whatsapped than emailed. I’d be much more likely to have not checked my email.

I think that’s the norm for most people which is why things like this (as well as delivery notifications!) tend to be texted. I think if a person disables their texts that’s on them.

NewPinkJacket · 14/01/2026 20:57

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:00

I'd be v interested to see if responses were skewed by age.

I think anyone 40-50 might be more likely to expect a phonecall.

56 here.

And nope.

Wolmando · 14/01/2026 20:55

I rarely get fake texts, they are generally ones I would be expecting

LightYearsAgo · 14/01/2026 20:51

NoSoupForU · 14/01/2026 20:46

I don't check texts and wouldn't expect anybody to be using a text to tell me something important or urgent, let alone a professional establishment.

Just looking through my phone I have recent text messages from Next,my bank, my vet, my hairdresser, Dunlem, Argos, HMRC all telling me things I need to know

It's a perfectly acceptable way for organisations to communicate

ScrambledEggs12 · 14/01/2026 20:50

I'm 44, I would expect a text, definitely not a WhatsApp from a service provider.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:50

I also have Whatsapp notifications off but do check them a few times a day.

I don't check texts very often as it's literally all spam, scams and delivery notification. I just go in periodically and mass delete.

OP posts:
NoSoupForU · 14/01/2026 20:46

I don't check texts and wouldn't expect anybody to be using a text to tell me something important or urgent, let alone a professional establishment.

FrangipaniBlue · 14/01/2026 20:46

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:44

I agree with the posters saying something like:
a text was perhaps ok in the first instance but when it asked a Q like "can you come at 8pm?" and no response was received, the service-provider should have realised it hadn't been read and followed up with a call

I do agree with this too though!!

FrangipaniBlue · 14/01/2026 20:45

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:06

@ScaryM0nster is an "urgent" text from the school a mass message though? Being sent to hundreds of parents at a time? If so, that's the only practical method of comms.

Presumably an ACTUAL urgent message to ONE recipient like "your child is ill, please collect" would be a phonecall?

That scenario requires the recipient (the parent) to take action straight away though.

In your scenario you had a 10hr window before any action was needed.

I’m in the age bracket you quoted and I’d prefer a text as I can’t always answer a phone call if I’m working.

Messages I can check and respond to in my own time.

The vast majority of people will check their messages over a period of 10hrs even if they do have their notifications turned off. Not doing so is just a bit odd.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:44

I agree with the posters saying something like:
a text was perhaps ok in the first instance but when it asked a Q like "can you come at 8pm?" and no response was received, the service-provider should have realised it hadn't been read and followed up with a call

OP posts:
tilypu · 14/01/2026 20:43

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:00

I'd be v interested to see if responses were skewed by age.

I think anyone 40-50 might be more likely to expect a phonecall.

I'm 54.

Would prefer a text.

pornstarmartinilover · 14/01/2026 20:37

If th person has their phone number down as a point of contact then it would be asssumed that contact via that means would be accessed.

LightYearsAgo · 14/01/2026 20:36

Mugtree · 14/01/2026 20:28

IYou can turn those notifications off too

Show quote history

I know, that isn't my point, I'm wondering why checking is necessary when a look is all that's needed. Once you've looked you then decide whether opening the message is necessary, at least that seems the best way to me not to miss anything important

MynameisJune · 14/01/2026 20:34

DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:00

I'd be v interested to see if responses were skewed by age.

I think anyone 40-50 might be more likely to expect a phonecall.

I’m 41, call or text is fine because we live in a modern age. You failed to communicate your preferences of not reading text messages and it back fired now you’re blaming the person you had an appointment with.

Mugtree · 14/01/2026 20:28

LightYearsAgo · 14/01/2026 20:27

Do most people have phones that require an actual check of any form of communication?

I can't remember when I had a phone that didnt display on the lock screen that there were unread messages of any type.

I guess I assumed all phones would be like that so even if you have it on silent you literally just look at the phone and see a notification

IYou can turn those notifications off too

LightYearsAgo · 14/01/2026 20:27

Do most people have phones that require an actual check of any form of communication?

I can't remember when I had a phone that didnt display on the lock screen that there were unread messages of any type.

I guess I assumed all phones would be like that so even if you have it on silent you literally just look at the phone and see a notification

thaisweetchill · 14/01/2026 20:18

B, if A changed the communication method and B did t get it it’s on A

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/01/2026 20:17

Text messages are a good way of conveying a message if someone doesn't answer their phone.

tilypu · 14/01/2026 20:12

A text is the ideal way to communicate something like this, followed up by a phone call if necessary imo.

Many people can't just answer the phone due when at work (I can't), but I can check a text, and the text will be available to be read all day, a phone call won't be.

An email is fine, but it's less likely to be checked when it's an urgent message.

Did the professional know that the person doesn't check their texts?

Wolmando · 14/01/2026 20:10

I prefer text as I block all unknown numbers, so I would have to name the person who was calling or turn it off, though if it was a professional I used I would have their number named anyway, I rarely get scam messages anyway, I don't use WhatsApp

HoseGoblin · 14/01/2026 20:08

Person A should've sought confirmation from Person B.

Person B should read their texts, and also just post the thread from a normal first person perspective instead of this silly "person A person B" horseshit, especially when it's glaringly, transparently obvious who Person B wants you to root for.

Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:06

@ScaryM0nster is an "urgent" text from the school a mass message though? Being sent to hundreds of parents at a time? If so, that's the only practical method of comms.

Presumably an ACTUAL urgent message to ONE recipient like "your child is ill, please collect" would be a phonecall?

OP posts:
Original poster
DoYouCheckTexts · 14/01/2026 20:05

Just to confirm, this is a sole, private practitioner so not an automated thing like the NHS or the school.

OP posts:
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