Last weekend we (me and my brother and our kids) went to see my DM and DF (sixties).
The topic of a care homes came up as a documentary was on the tv late afternoon. This was about failing care homes. My mum, almost out of nowhere, said well we’ll be in charge of where we go as we’ve set up a trustee/nominated person to make these decisions with our finances for where we get to that stage.
Brother was equally as taken aback at the time and parents then said they had done it so me and brother didn’t have any disagreements and to ensure me and him weren’t put under pressure to deal with it all.
I accept I have little to no knowledge as to what’s usual in these circumstances but I know my mum was in charge of my gran’s circumstances at that point and the same with my dad and his mum. I just find it so offensive and hurtful that they’d rather appoint essentially a stranger instead of their own DC. AIBU?!