With DH Inflexible 6pm gym schedule?

Rigid schedules are understandable, it's difficult to stick to a commitment if you don't. But you need to stop worrying about him do what suits you. Don't have dinner, have a proper lunch instead. He can then have leftovers or cook for himself.

he’s not going to the pub. He’s going to the gym. He goes with a mate. Maybe they work better. I have friends at my gym but I workout on my own because I prefer it. My mates workout together because they think they push each other.

The morning routine is not an eat time.

People who don’t finish work until 6 or have a long journey home.

Because he does the babies morning routine.

you are not a default parent. He does the mornings, he does the majority of the cooking )or is happy to), he does the bedtime routine & he helps around the house. Why is the weekends being looked at who has the baby. Cant you all do things together as a family. Like take baby swimming or for a walk. Having a baby is hardwork but a default parent is the one that does the absolute majority of everything. Like the school run, bedtime, the cooking, the cleaning up after everyone. I mean absolutely doing everything on your own. I just think if you’re both working full time days then he must be doing his fair share

@BrendaSmall

most people are still at work at 5pm

I wonder if he is not just meeting his male mates, could there be a female involved?

@MikeRafone

eating dinner together each night isn’t the best all and end all, I often eat separately to my husband if one of us is at the gym or otherwise engaged. Eating separately doesn’t mean living like a single person 🙄

I’m going to go against the grain. I have to do the gym in the morning. It’s the best time for me because I work better and it sets up my day to be more productive. My husband is a slow riser and finds the mornings difficult & he prefers to go after work. However, my kids are not little but if they where I think we’d have an ageeement that he’ll do the morning getting the kids ready etc and I’d do the evening.

how old is your baby? I would suggest dinner is done before he leaves. If not I’d just wait till he’s back. He does bedtime routine, he cooks and he helps with the household jobs. Maybe suggest he takes her somewhere on the weekend like swimming so you can get a bit of time to yourself

I’ve never eaten later than 6:30 ever. I hate eating later it stops me sleeping.

Also who wants to faff with clearing up after that time.----

YANBU - when I had a newborn and 3 year old, DH decided this was the exact time to spend his first hour at home, aka busiest time off day with the kids, to take down half dozen dying trees at the back of our garden. I do wish I'd had the wherewithal to tell him to please let that job wait!

Yanbu
Sounds like hes avoiding the witching hour.
Thats the hardest part of the day when you have young children.
As you like the gym too why not draw up a rota you each go out at 6pm two or three times a week and leave the other one to it?
Of course going to gym with friends is nice but how often is he doing it.
Could he go at 6am twice a week and catch up with friends at 6pm once a week?

Why should OP be forced to eat to his schedule. People often eat at different times, don’t see the issue?

But it's not his work. It's his total choice to offload the intense hours to OP. That's the whole point.

I think the obvious answer here is to just sort out food for you and baby — if that means batch cooking for the two of you, fine. He can then cook his dinner whenever he wants. If he’s going to treat you like a housemate there’s no point going out of your way for him.

Why should she change what time she eats just because HE likes to eat later? She is fine eating on her own. Why does HE get to dictate when she eats?

You could just as easily say why doesn't he get up at 5.30am to exercise, many people do that, especially parents.

Or do women have to do all the compromising?

I hate fasting and I hate eating late. I need 3 big meals a day. I don't snack and I don't eat after 7pm. On the odd ocasion that I have a late dinner I end up snacking and not sleeping well because I am too full.

He’s going to the gym to avoid family and baby time. Don’t have another with him, it likely won’t work out long term.

Definitely the worst time of day. He needs to ask his friends to move the slot if he’s adamant he goes every time with them. No idea why people enjoy doing this, for me exercise is about having precious alone time.

If he carries on as the child gets older he’ll miss every dinner time and bed time with his child.. leaving you to handle it alone.
he sounds like a twat op if he really thinks this is fine

That doesn’t sound reasonable fair enough if he wants to go meet up with his friends once or maybe even twice a week but every evening, how old is he?

You could quite easily eat at 8pm though.

If you are getting hungry and can’t control yourself then eat your lunch and breakfast later too. If you had a flexible metabolism then you wouldn’t have this problem, many people only eat one meal a day, many more eat in a personal choiuce eating window of 8 hours a day.

What would you do if his work changed to working until 7pm at night? You would deal with it.

Be as inflexible as him. Tell him 6pm is the shittiest time of day to be left on your own so if he insists on 6pm you'll need to go at 6pm 3/4 days a week to recover from the stress of the other 3/4 days. Stick to it until he understands what it is he's asking of you.

Why should he live like a bachelor when he is a parent

I could never eat at 8/9pm!
we eat at 5pm and I’m ready for bed by 8pm 🤣