With DH Inflexible 6pm gym schedule?

I wouldn't wait for him to come home to eat. Prepare dinner as you see fit, when it''s ready eat with your child. He can heat his portion when he comes home. I wouldn't make a fuss about it, just state things as they are. Tell him that for you it doesn't work to eat at 8, all of the evening is gone waiting for him.

Eurgh what a wally. So he misses basically all the time with his child in the evening? That's going to become a bigger issue as your little one gets older and starts to wonder where dad is most evenings. Yeh, you need to give him a kick up the bum about this.

Do his other friends not like their families? I'm not sure it matters how old your kids are - missing 1-2hrs 5x a week with them to go to the gym is plain selfish and is only possible because their partners are massively picking up the slack. He's obviously learned bad habits / selfish ways from them plus unrealistic ideas about what family life looks like... and it's not that, at least for most people.

He needs to get up early to go, go straight from work, go late or wait until the weekend. Basically any other time that isn't impacting on morning/ evening routine for your kid(s). For starters I would stop helping him. I would only make yours and your kids food or make what suited you. If he's going to be selfish, start being selfish back

Sorry if it was me, and he insisted on gym - he'd be cooking and eating on his own when he got home. Me and baby would be sorted lomg before. If he didnt like it - he knows what he has to do.

agreed with the first part of the comment but horrified by the second part of "with hold sex". Sex is not a tool to be used to benefit or withheld in punishment. In a committed relationship its an expression of love between two people, two equals. Yes, when a relationship is in difficulty sex life often suffers but the way you have put this makes sex a transaction to be used or withheld to manipulate.

Then there’s a lot who’s not!!

He is being unreasonable. If he wouldn't discuss, I would be eating without him and then handing him the baby and going myself. Every day until he got the message .

He’s being unreasonable of course, rush hour/s at home really need two people if in a relationship. Can’t he prep a meal say in the slow cooker/chop and fridge the night before? I’d start not cooking at all til he’s home, then dinner will be at 9pm and he’ll be hungry because he’s being selfish

This is the worst time of day to go out and completely unfair to you and as your child gets older, the child too. If hes in full time work, as the child gets into toddler age, drops naps etc you will find bed time is 7pm, 7.30pm. Whats he going to do, just never be there? Relationships with friends and time for yourself has to change when you have a child and hes not accepting this. Is he never going to be available for bedtimes? It might be best to suggest alternating initially but this would be ringing some bells for me. My husband has done an evening yoga class once a week that meant he missed bedtimes, but we alternate anyway, he goes running often early at weekends when my son and i are still in bed having a cuddle. It doesn't mean he can't do it, just needs to realise what's important. Im part time so most of my excersise is in the time I'm not at work and my child is out anyway. If I was in full time work we'd have to go early or alternate.

And in any case using sex as a bargaining tool is a terrible thing to do to your relationship!

Maybe lonely is the wrong word. I just prefer eating with someone.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

i never eat in the week with my husband due to conflicting work schedules and the gym. I ain’t lonely tho

Not every night. But no unrealistic a few times a week.

You say he resisted the food thing in the past, AND isn’t budging on gym time, so you can say that something has to give and it’s either his gym slot, or the food thing, you can’t wait until 8pm or later to eat, that is ridiculously late when you’ve been up all day on interrupted sleep.

I think you need to both work together on the food front, and he has to do his fair share of solo parenting so you can have some time too.

one of the things you both could do is to sort the food out, so you can eat when you’re hungry, you don’t have to think about it or do much in the heat of the witching hour.

Some food actually tastes better the next day, so things like curry or casserole/bolognese etc, cooking rice and freezing it is actually healthier as the carbs change in the cooling process so less of a spike in blood sugar when you’re eating pre cooked and cooled rice. Same for potatoes

so batch cook, make up containers with portions and freeze them. We’ve done this in the past and it’s worked brilliantly when we’re short on time/inspiration or if I’m travelling or something.

I do get your frustration and if you could ask him to push it back even 30mins it might help, but I get his perspective too. I train every day and love being with my friends when they’re booked in.

@Fulmine

it doesn’t sound like OP is getting much gym time to reduce. You do know that going to the gym is good for both mental and physical health right?

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

there is a lot more to being married than just eating together each night! What if you yourself wanted to go to a gym class or out to see friends in the evening , would you say no cos it would mean you can’t eat same time as your spouse and they would be offended? Also being on your own sometimes doesn’t for most people make them feel lonely

Sounds like you should both be devoting less time and energy to the gym and more to each other.

Of course he can’t go to the gym every evening at 6pm on the dot because his friends go that time!

He is a husband, that in itself should have make him more willing to move things around for you.

He is a dad, that means he has no more choice in the matter as literally a tiny human depends on him. Not just you.

your husband is completely unreasonable and you shouldn’t be alone in this.

Well I’d be offended by someone who didn’t.

Whats the point in being married to eat a lonely tea every night?

Sorry about the GIF. Don't know how to delete it. Who's the mug now? Haha

Sympathies with you OP. Your DP has taken you for an absolute mug, the bastard. You need to reconsider your priorities. What about your life????

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

not everyone puts such emphasis on “family meals” though. It’s doesn’t do a family any harm to eat separately on an evening sometimes. Can eat together on a weekend when have more time. The gym is so good for mental and physical health. So I’m not sure they do come first on the hierarchy of importance tbh.

Wow, I would have loved an hour with my friends every day when my kids were babies. Or even now 😂. He is being inflexible on a lot of things, from reading your comments. Take back some control or you will be a slave to his whims and wishes.
6pm is a terrible time to go out for an hour and a half. If he insists, then you insist he makes dinner first, at least for you. If it doesn't taste right for him then he can make more for himself on his return.
If you want baby to sleep in his own room then put him in it. You must have a say in the decisions, don't let him dictate. Xx

He's completely taking the piss, quite frankly, and you don't have to put up with it!

@notaurewhatusername This video might give you a script!