To check in on crying neighbour?

I agree with this. Maybe a message saying something like, "God, this is relentless, isn't it? I'm desperate for some adult company. Are you free for a walk tomorrow?"

Could you make the pretext a you problem - like ask her to go for a walk because you need a break, you're knackered, you need some adult company, you're struggling...

Then just mention that she was she was feeling the strain the other day so thought you’d offer to look after the baby whilst she has a cup of tea in peace. You could propose to bring cake/biscuits to with it!

If she says NO, then, just tell her your door is always open if she wants to take up the offer.

That way she has ample opportunity to refuse or take on your offer Deoending on how she feels.
Remember too, you can only offer help. It’s really up to her to take it.

If she's on her own, then I'd make an excuse to call over (I had some xyz leftover and thought you might like it) or so and so dropped in these biscuits but I don't eat them would you. Or if she's done anything you've appreciated you could use that as an excuse to call round with something small to say thank you. Then I'd just see how she is and gauge it from there. I'd mention nothing about the crying but if she brings it up or if she seems completely wrecked then I would offer to watch baby for an hour or two while she sleeps or showers. I think inviting her out to a joint play date is a fabulous idea, I'd actually frame it as I saw xyz but I was a bit nervous to go on my own would you come with.

This!

definitely DO NOT mention the crying

she can mention it if she wants

Aw I'd frame it as did she fancy a change of scenery with the babies.

I've bawled my heart out before in my home and yep my neighbours probably heard me but I'd be mortified if they brought it up and feel I couldn't do it in future when sometimes a massive cry is just the release that's needed.

Please don’t say anything that implies she could be struggling/ you’ve heard her.

I used to cry all of the time and would have hated knowing people could hear me.
My home was the one place I could let it out.

I would definitely invite her round for a cup of tea then your DH is at work.
The more she comes round, the more she’ll feel like she can open up to you.

Is she a single parent?
Id offer to watch her baby at yours whilst she goes home and has a shower and if the baby wakes up you’ll text her.

Thank you for being so kind.

Just to say go for it and how lovely you are to care...so many people don't have a clue about their neighbours or how to interact with kindness not nosiness...please if you can keep us updated.

This is the kind of situation where a white lie is useful tbh. Lots of suggestions about doing stuff together and how to reach out, but id also be tempted to go 'how are you doing, because I remember having a few cries in the shower after my first was born and it was so rubbish, it can be really tough sometimes cant it'. She might not open up right there and then, but it opens the door in future for you to say 'how are you? I had a tough week this week' and for her to say 'me too'.
Hope she's doing okay - its lovely of you to want to reach out.

And appropriate

I think your approach sounds nice

I think its lovely of you to care and wish there were more people like you around.

It sounds like she's more comfortable with messages so I would maybe send her a message saying I hope you are OK, if you'ld ever like to come round for a cup of tea and cake you are most welcome. And maybe suggest a day. I would not mention the crying but I love your phrase about motherhood can be so lonely and don't want you to feel alone and maybe could add that. Then she knows she doesn't have to pretend to be fine.

Oh yes, an invitation to get out of the house sounds perfect.

Offering to walk to the sensory room with her sounds like a great idea OP. When my kids were babies I took them to the (now sadly closed) Sure Start centre nearby regularly, it kept me sane getting out and meeting other mums there.

I think I’d find some excuse to knock on her door tbh. Borrow something or take her some cake or something and try to get chatting. Poor girl hope she’s ok and well done for being a nice neighbor

You could always reach out by saying you are finding it difficult with your baby and would love to have a chat and ask her advice 🙂 x

Bless you for caring. I wish I'd had a neighbour like you when my DS was a baby. Suggesting the sensory room sounds like a good plan - maybe frame it as 'I could really do with getting out of the house for an hour - do you fancy coming and we can get a cuppa and some cake?'

Oh you have a similarly age baby - I’d ask her if she would like a cup of tea and a chat, or go for a walk with the prams or something. I’d frame it like she’d be doing you a favour rather than give the impression that you think she’s a charity case (not that I’m saying you do think that, just that some people are sensitive to that).

When I was struggling post partum, there wasn’t anything that would have been particularly helpful to talk about tbh. In fact I would have hated people trying to have a chat with me about it. I was just fucking knackered. Simply being around other people was the most helpful thing possible.

I wouldn't send a text I'd pop round because it's too easy to ignore a text. She'd probably be glad of the company and you could hopefully help her with something she needs

Ask her if she fancies a cuppa and take it from there. I can remember a woman at our local baby group being really tearful one day. She’d had a terrible night with little sleep and was exhausted. She had said she cried a few times just randomly and was embarrassed. We all spoke about the hormones after having ours and how we’d become tearful. I’d said I remember sat in my living room crying alongside my 2nd cos nothing was helping them
settle. Another mum pointed out she was crying cos she’d just got baby to sleep and postman caused the dog to bark and there was baby awake again.

I know it really helped this mum feel less embarrassed about her emotions and that it can happen to everyone. We all had a cuppa, a laugh and sometimes a wee tear and felt much better.

I’d suggest going out for a walk if you both have babies. I had very bad PND.

I wouldn't message, and definitely wouldn't mention I could hear her crying.

Just pop round, knock the door, say you fancied some company and ask if she's in the mood for a cup of tea and a biscuit just now. It's then easy enough to ask how she's feeling and let her know you want to listen.

You sound like a good neighbour, OP.