Do people really not know what to eat?

I agree. I feed 6-8 people daily. Just chopping the veg takes a while, even doing it while other stuff is cooking. I usually factor in an hour to cook, that’s not always easy for everyone to find every day. People say omelettes are really quick. Not when you’re cooking 8 of them! I cook from scratch at least 13 out of 14 days but it does take time and planning.

Have you ever had a child with ARFID who is on the verge of being tube fed?

But how do they get a taste for the beige food in the first place? I get that food issues must be very hard to deal with but you never seem to hear about kids who will only eat apples and carrots, it’s always chicken nuggets or similar.

Or maybe some of the posters claiming that they just don't have tiiiime to feed their kids a healthy diet could get themselves a slow cooker?

Not everyone has time and it can make a big difference time wise for those on a time budget. They can still make dishes, but quicker and easier whilst working full time

its a choice for some who don’t have financial constraints

Good grief - this beggars belief. I actually find it offensive after suffering true child abuse form years 0-18

I was on a thread yesterday where a women was trying to convince posters that while she was overweight the fact that she was happy was all that mattered and she didn’t have any desire to address her weight because being happy trumped being slim in her opinion.

And while I get that being comfortable in your own skin and body positivity is something desirable to be attained I wonder how this translates into teaching your own children about healthy eating habits and their long term outcomes? I would rather my children not have to do mental gymnastics and overcome the emotional problems that come before ‘being happy in your own skin’ and are just healthy from the start.

Basically children are too short and too heavy due to the cheap nutrient poor food being more available than the alternative. This is largely put down here in South Africa due to poverty but I also believe it’s down to education and parents not knowing better.

https://www.spotlightnsp.co.za/2020/11/19/analysis-unlike-the-global-trend-south-africas-children-are-too-short-and-too-fat/

I have a theory about the age of convenience and how at a point in time we were sold this idea that what usually took time and effort (a meal) to prepare was now easily available. Much like the advent of cars, sold to us as a way to make our lives easier but ultimately led us to move less physically. A double edged sword basically … products to make our lives easier but have long term consequences for our health. We should be more enlightened now but I think there are many people who just aren’t for whatever reason (probably mostly socio-economic)

And where poverty and education isn't an issue, people still don't know what they should be eating.

I could post 'eat lots of fruit and veggies' on social media - universally sound advice, you'd think? But people would come along and shout at me about the carbs in potatoes, and the sugar in fruit, and FODMAPs and how nightshade vegetables kill your gut, etc. etc.

They'll all be following some online 'expert' who is very charismatic and actually sounds like they have all the credentials and research backing them.

Surely the case for children is not obesity but rather malnutrition from poor food choices and that’s why all these posters are not seeing obese children walking around in their neighborhoods.

Obesity seems to be largely an adult problem and Id imagine it has something to do with human biology and how poor eating habits from childhood translate into adulthood.

I live in Africa and poor eating and malnutrition is well known to affect many factors in determining a child’s future, not just their weight but how well they do in life in general and it actually becomes an economic problem for the country with less successful adults. And it’s not always about poverty but also lack of education about the impact that food has on children. I wonder how this translates into a country such as the UK where it is assumed that people know better.

I think it’s less refined, not unrefined.

Yes, definitely. It was okay to grab a cake mid week for dessert as it wasn't full of all sorts of crap. Takeaway was fish and chips. A few digestive biscuits before bed with a cup of tea. Those sort of unhealthy things really were alright in moderation, but these days it's not just a few items of indulgence that are crammed full of rubbish. And people are still applying the same rules.

I think also the dominant advice about moderation dates back to a time when food wasn't quite so industrialised and full of god knows what, so the 'bad' choices weren't actually quite as bad.

Ah, apologies! I hadn't read your other posts.

I fully agree with you. I don't think they should be so freely available at all, not when people are either so willing to purchase something they know is unhealthy and feed it not only to themselves but their children, or if they really cannot grasp the consequences of this sort of diet.

I do believe that a lot of people do know. I can understand that some might genuinely struggle, but really it's not hard to understand that eating a frozen pizza and chips vs. a homemade soup/cottage pie/fish and veg is a poor choice. People know a bar of chocolate isn't as healthy as a banana. I believe it's mostly about choice, and people make poor choices and make excuses for them and scream judgment when they're called on it.

The dominant advice about moderation was okay years back when these things really were eaten in moderation. Now people think it's moderation to eat a frozen pizza and chips, a bar of chocolate, then have a side salad and a diet coke so that somehow eradicates the bad. Or they pretend they think that, anyway. It's a big mess, and people choose ease and what feels good in the moment.

One can indeed spend a lot of money on the best of anything, which is not to take away from the reality that unfortunately it is overwhelmingly the case (to simplify massively!) that one can acquire the calorific ‘volume’ required much more affordable’ with mass produced processed industrial foods than from spoilable fresh produce, or indeed high end niche ‘craft’ snack foods..

I think we are actually kind of agreeing with each other...

You say "Don't give it to them to begin with and they won't get a taste for it".

I agree wholeheartedly, but I would also then ask:
-why is the dominant advice still 'everything in moderation' and don't demonise foods?
-if a food is that addictive and bad for you that it shouldn't be fed to children at all, why is it even on the shelves, and in pretty packaging with misleading health promises all over it?

Most people honestly don't know who and what to believe anymore.

Whatever a respected panel of scientists says is dangerous to health to the point that the risks of eating it outweigh any benefits.

These programmes are designed to make the people watching feel superior, aimed at the judgmental, who like to look down on people.

My point is the PP’s own point. I think every parent will have noted that the arrival of DC does have quite a substantial impact one one’s life. Some have no clue what parenthood will bring, some have expectations about exactly how things will pan out , but no one know what the impact is until it happens. No battle survives first contact with ‘the enemy!’ (Said expression of course coined in jest)

When I left home, at 18, I didn't know how to boil an egg or make tea. Genuinely, had no idea where to start, how to boil water etc. But I realized quickly that frozen pizzas and shite food I had been raised on was overall extremely expensive.

So I went online and learned. Entirely alone and on a student budget with my shitty student loan on a tiny one burner.

When I was dating, i asked men on the first date if they could cook. I wanted a family and didn't want to be the only cook, it was important to me.

My toddler has I'd say 95% homemade food, partly because of allergies, partly becuase DH and I are good cooks who prioritise fresh food. It's actually not a big burden at this point although it may seem like it to some.

There's no excuse in my view, and it's terrible parenting.

The ARFID thing is a red herring, because genuine ARFID is rare. It seems it's not on these threads because people congregate on these boards for advice, etc., but most families aren't dealing with that.

Fussiness (not ARFID) where kids are demanding beige food is a parent problem. Don't give it to them to begin with and they won't get a taste for it, or actually limit it and teach them that no means no. It's my duty as a parent to ensure my children are healthy; that means sitting through the tantrums of, "I want cake, I don't WANT fruit!". They'll soon want fruit if they're not given other options. I'm not going to be emotionally manipulated by a 7 year old into feeding them unhealthy food every day because they'll turn their nose up to decent home cooked meals. They eat or they don't, but that's all that's there.

Edit: I should add; my kids are given a variety of choice. I include them in meal plans, and they're actually really good in terms of their eating. They've both definitely been through fussy phases and I've just stuck to my guns. The only genuine dislikes from either of them are mushrooms and courgette, which is absolutely fair enough. They've tried both enough times and in enough of a variety of ways for me to know they're not just being silly about it.

What foods would you ban?

Of course, but in extreme cases the child eventually just refuses the alternative altogether. How often do you hear 'my toddler/kid will only eat beige food', even just on this thread. Parents end up desperate just to get their kid to eat anything at all.

This is a lot of words to say you’re a judgemental bovine.

London is not very representative.