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Original poster

Friend ordered something from business and hasn’t paid

278 replies

SmallWorrier · 13/01/2026 22:57

This is a really awkward situation! I recently started my own business where I sell goods that I’ve made. Im lucky it took off quickly and am managing to make it work so far. I mostly sell to strangers as I knew I’d struggle to sell and take money from friends if they ordered. These items are for children.

a couple of friends have ordered for their children and I’ve always sold them much lower than I would to strangers, not making a profit but breaking even on materials. A friend asked about ordering 3 items for her daughter for Christmas, which would usually have come to £30. I told her £10 would be ok. She took the items and her daughter got them for Christmas and has been wearing them however she didn’t pay for them. At the time I offered bank details and she said she’d pay cash. I’ve seen her a few times and last time I mentioned her daughter looked nice in what I’d made and her reply was “oh I’ll pay you at some point.” The woman is usually complaining about being skint however books nice holidays etc. I feel awkward but frustrated as I did them at a cheap price anyway and taking on her order before Christmas meant I couldn’t take on as many other ones (I only take so many a month to make sure they get done in good time and I don’t overwhelm myself). This is the reason I don’t want to take orders from friends!! I’ve asked a couple of times now with no reply. I don’t want to lose the friendship or people think ill of me by pushing it, especially in our small community. WIBU to ask again for the money or should I just let it go?

OP posts:
MySweetGeorgina · 14/01/2026 11:17

She will never pay you and you are too shy to ask and she knows 😬

what’s with the “oh she looks nice in my necklace… hint hint” instead of saying “you forgot to pay”

best not to sell to friends if you are too shy to ask them to pay maybe (also she sounds a shit friend tbh)

Nevereatcardboard · 14/01/2026 11:14

Any awkwardness or embarrassment in this situation should be felt by her not you. If a text message doesn’t sort it out, tell your most gossipy friend ‘in confidence’ that she hasn’t paid you.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 14/01/2026 11:06

LAMPS1 · 14/01/2026 03:48

If giving her the items for free has led to other orders, then it’s easier in your mind to let it go. But then tell her that you have been able to write off what she owes and why. And resolve never under-sell yourself again.

Otherwise I would certainly send another reminder. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tenner or or a hundred. You must get into the habit of chasing it. It’s nothing to her and so she needs the reminder. And, ‘I’ll pay you at some point’ is extremely demeaning to you so yes, you do need to assert yourself properly, as would any other business. Can she walk out of any other shop with their goods and say ‘oh I’ll pay you at some point.’
Dear friend, I’m finishing off my admin and am still missing the amount you owe me for materials for 3 items. I know £10 is only a small amount but I still need to balance my books. Thanks for your attention to this. My bank details are….

The more you do this sort of follow-up, the better you will feel about yourself and your business. Good luck !

Spot on.

And its not causing a scene to calmly and politely ask her to pay you for the goods she ordered.

Its just not. Its normal.

If any scene is caused, she will be the one showing herself up by doing it.

Just to repeat. It's not the money, its that your kind and generous friendship is not even worth £10 to her.. and it is assertive to let her know that she cannot treat you and dismiss your new venture as worthless in what is in reality quite a contemptuous manner.

PigletJohn · 14/01/2026 11:05

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 14/01/2026 01:08

Yes, this would be much easier. Sometimes, the inflexibility and stubbornness of faceless machines and automation can be irritating; but sometimes, they can be invaluable in taking any pressure or awkwardness like this off you.

Obviously it's too late for this 'friend' now, but how could somebody keep a straight face in complaining about your online ordering system not working, when it's clear as day that actually paying the required amount is all that's needed to make it work! Surely people wouldn't seriously complain about a 'glitch' that expects them to pay the agreed/advertised price in order to purchase goods?!

If you need to, tell people that your accountant/accounting software insists on it for your audit trail and to prove that everything is all above board; whereas they've warned you that any kind of 'cash in hand' dealings will be automatically looked on very unfavourably by HMRC. Also, to hammer it home, "It's such a longwinded process that would take me so long to balance things off if I had to fudge it to allow for cash payments that I'd need to charge more than the standard price to cover all of the extra work! (Hahaha-not-Hahaha)".

You can always give them a discount code if you want to (ideally one that clearly expires after a short time - something like 'Jan26-20pcoff' lest they tell everybody they know/publish it on SM/otherwise exploit your generosity).

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You don't need to provide justifications for being paid.

Flowersforyourchocolateprettyplease · 14/01/2026 10:40

SmallWorrier · 13/01/2026 23:54

Yes last time I saw her we were having coffee. I felt like asking her to get my coffee as she hadn’t paid me 😂

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Not a laughing matter.
Treat your business like a joke and others will too.

Grammarninja · 14/01/2026 10:35

It's horrible when friends put you in positions like this. I'd wait until you're doing something with her that costs money. When it comes to paying just say, "oh, if you get this, that'll make us even".
That's what I tend to do rather than badger someone.

deeahgwitch · 14/01/2026 10:31

Did you both pay for your own coffee last time you met ?
What do you make / create @SmallWorrier ?

Hello19834 · 14/01/2026 10:27

I'd firmly but politely ask her for the money. Why should she get away without paying? You wouldn't order something from Argos or Amazon and not expect to pay for the item so why should this be any different? You've given your time and purchased materials!! You're entitled to the money. She's a CF to the highest order! I don't know how these sort sleep at night treating people like this.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 14/01/2026 10:21

Agree with everyone else about pursuing her, but since this is something you're making at least you're covered for anything like this in future

Simply tell them you can't start work on whatever it is until you've been paid, and ignore any "Ooooo couldn't you justs ..."

FunnyOrca · 14/01/2026 10:21

My friend runs a craft business. She makes things and gives them out in our friend group for free when she is:

a) trying out/learning a new medium, supplier or technique (samples)
b) has stock with a minor flaw or that she wants cleared out of her studio to make space for something she thinks will sell better
c) wants to advertise a new skill she has acquired

If we want something specific, we pay full price. It’s her business and livelihood. There are nice perks to having her as a friend, but those are on her terms. You should reconsider your mates rates, especially as £30 for 3 items seems reasonable in the first place!

I would not chase this friend, but also, she will be charged full price up front in future.

KnickerlessParsons · 14/01/2026 10:17

WallaceinAnderland · 13/01/2026 23:03

This is a learning curve. Payment secures the order.

It’s not a “learning curve” (one for Pedants’ Corner”). It could be a lesson learnt though.

Diondra · 14/01/2026 10:14

Yes something about closing off accounts for 2025 is a good idea.

I would never ask for mates' rates but my artist friend quietly slips a little extra in if she knows you. I've bought 5 greetings cards through her website and she's delivered 6, or I bought a print and she's added a couple of cards. It's a really nice gesture, hopefully doesn't destroy her profit and means she is only selling to friends who are not going to take the mick.

Owly11 · 14/01/2026 10:14

Insist on the money and definitely don't sell to her again. 3 items for £10 sounds ridiculously cheap anyway. You should put your prices up.

Flowerlovinglady · 14/01/2026 10:12

Payment up front in future and only a small discount that you can afford (if at all) to friends. If someone asks you again, say you've had to change your terms and conditions as you've been burned and lost out on significant money by not charging enough. Print up your terms and conditions and email them when anyone asks and make it clear you will understand if they don't want to move forward with it on those terms - no hard feelings. If you wanted to be a charity, you would be one.

The sad thing is (and I have some personal experience of this in business) if you offer things for under market value people don't appreciate it, they just expect it.

Sam9769 · 14/01/2026 10:12

You're running a business and need to act like a business woman and toughen up (in the nicest possible way).
What if you really needed that money? You would have to get it from her.
Stop the mates rates. Tell this woman to pay what she owes and dump her.
You seem too soft and she's taking advantage if you!

MimiGC · 14/01/2026 10:08

Is it a business or a hobby that you can make some money from? If the former, then in what world does a business hand over the goods without payment?! Treat orders from friends the same as you would from strangers (even if you do want to charge them less) ie they place their order, make their payment, you hand over the goods.

readingismycardio · 14/01/2026 09:55

I have a special rate for friends - 20% but they never take it and they pay full price and beforehand! Not a single one of my friends has ever accepted the reduced rate. Ask for your money and drop her! She’s no friend.

Okiedokie123 · 14/01/2026 09:53

Why are you meeting for coffee with her? She owes you money.
and it’s not only £10 she owes you £30.
You need to be firmer and tougher if you want your business to work.

Sharptonguedwoman · 14/01/2026 09:49

Payment in advance, always. A sad lesson but also true.

40YearOldDad · 14/01/2026 09:47

SmallWorrier · 13/01/2026 23:54

Yes last time I saw her we were having coffee. I felt like asking her to get my coffee as she hadn’t paid me 😂

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Think of it this way, it only costs you £10 to find out the type of person she is. If all it costs is £10, she will never ask for anything again, so you've got off cheap.

Icecreamandcoffee · 14/01/2026 09:47

If you feel too awkward let it go. But don't sell or make anything for her again. When she asks, just say you are too busy with orders every time.

BoudiccaRuled · 14/01/2026 09:46

Obviously she's blacklisted but also, you either charge full price during peak season or wait until it's quieter. Explain why and friends (proper, reasonable friends) will understand. Also don't take cash as this looks like a tax dodge and /or that your friend isn't taking your business seriously.

deeahgwitch · 14/01/2026 09:45

She’s not a friend anymore. She won’t pay the tenner for something that should have cost her £30 😮☹️
Ask one more time for payment and then, if she doesn’t pay up, drop her.

Isobel201 · 14/01/2026 09:44

NewPinkJacket · 13/01/2026 23:04

I'm sorry but your business isn't going to last very long unless you toughen up.

Stop the silly mates rates for a start. They are ridiculously low and if they were real mates, they wouldn't want to pay a lot less because they'd rather support you in your new venture.

And obviously TELL this woman that she owes your money, you gave her a stupidly big discount and you want paying now, with no more excuses.

But ultimately if you want to succeed here, you need to stop the discount nonsense.

This entirely, business is business regardless of whether its your mate or a stranger.

shellyleppard · 14/01/2026 09:44

Ask for the money and charge full price if she asks again