No thank you messages for gifts

I would be surprised if it had

No, it didn’t @Flaked. My shot didn’t even pierce the rhino hide.

It’s basic manners to say thank you. Some just don’t have basic manners!

I’d send a message to the parents of the children now,
”Just wanted to check that the children received the Christmas gifts as I didn’t hear anything from you?”
The response you get to that message will demonstrate whether the gifts are appreciated and they are just very scatty about thank yous, or whether they simply don’t care. If the latter, don’t bother to send any more.

And? Did it change anything?

I’d message and say you’re checking if they were received as no acknowledgment (if posted). I’d probably stop bothering if they can’t be polite enough to thank you.

During a meal my niece complained about receiving no thanks. I heartily agreed with her that it’s bad mannered and rude. Her mother smiled knowingly but said nothing. Only she understood my pointed message.

This seems a bit silly.

You aren’t close to your brother
and I suspect you never ever see his grandchildren (have you even met them?!).

You are buying for what purpose? To keep a relationship with your brother? But doesn’t sound like there is one really anyway.

Do you have grandchildren?

Whilst I agree that it is not SIL or brother's place to instigate the thank yous if the position is that SIL would be nasty if you stopped I would suggest saying every time did Timmy get his present as I haven't had a thank you. Do it twice and then stop. If she queries it then just say I want sure they were getting there (or just stop anyway and if she says something say I stopped because I don't think they were arriving as rhey were never acknowledged).

Yes, it's well-mannered, & I make sure to remind DC to send thank you texts, but we all lead busy lives, & it's not worth severing the relationship for.

Why not suggest you all stop, as the 'Children all get too much' etc. Like PP have said, it's a nicer idea to have a lunch where you treat the children to nice food & you get a chat with your niece & her children. It all seems a bit transactional- you buy vouchers for them, your brother buys vouchers for yours- is there any point? If it's only £100 for 4 Christmas presents & some birthdays too, it's not much per head really, £15/£20? Perhaps it's time to stop?

I agree that it’s very rude not to thank someone for a present. From the time she could first write, I always made sure my daughter sent a card to say thank you for a present - it’s just basic manners.

Say you'd rather have a January meet up for lunch than exchanging stuff anymore.

Grandneices and grandnephews are too distant a relative to bother spending £100s on, and your gifts are not appreciated.

I just stopped. Didn’t send a message announcing why (seemed like it would come across as petty). I got sick of chasing down relatives months after the fact to see if my parcels had arrived, or if they had been lost.

Nobody has had the audacity to question me, but if they did, I would say, “The gifts I was sending weren’t being acknowledged, so I took that to mean that they weren’t wanted, so I’ve stopped sending them.”

I find it very rude when no thanks are given or even an acknowledgement of receipt . It doesn’t sound like you have a great relationship with them anyway so I’d stop . If they kick off tell them why .

I have always sent thank you cards from my DC and later they wrote and sent them themselves. For all christmas and birthday gifts. However, not everyone is like this. Some people dont even think of saying thank you which I find odd. Your children say thank you and that should matter more if I am honest. I dont know whether you should stop sending, I would probably carry on to keep the peace.