No thank you messages for gifts

Stop sending gifts to rude children. I would have had to write a thank you note, as advised by my parents or else. We are talking the 1970's.
These days even a text message is deemed too much trouble. Why continue after four years of ingratitude. STOP.

Obviously YANBU, but I read it as "No, thank you"
messages for gifts 😁
I could think of some!

I would just stop with no explanation.
If it is ever brought up just say you didn't have acknowledgement that the previous gifts had arrived.

I have the same with my brother and niece. Never get a thank you for Birthday or Christmas presents unless I actively chase up that she got it OK. We don't have a great relationship either so I have been thinking of stopping now she is 16.

I'd stop the gift giving. It's clearly not appreciated or they are just very rude entitled people.

Plan secret santa on an app for everybody with a modest amount to spend - and have a big meet up before christmas. It's much more fun, and less passive aggressive - especially as I imagine you want a continued relationship with this side of the family? We did it this year with my step daughters and partners. It was much easier and less stressful. Especially for me! Good luck!

This gets my goat so much!! Such bad manners and laziness. It stopped me sending a few gifts to kids years ago. Fucking rude

I always wrote a thank you card and my kids did too, though now they are more likely to text (not that they get many gifts outside of me as they are older). I stopped giving gifts to anyone outside my immediate family years ago. I had my kids after most of my friends but one had her DD two weeks after I did. So we’d exchange a gift, but one year I gave her a Sylvanian family (about £20) and my DD got … a basic Boots child toothbrush worth about 89p. I didn’t need to be spending the money if my DD’s gift was an afterthought (she did thank them verbally, though was slightly puzzled a to how a toothbrush, not even a Disney one, could be a gift).
I used to send a relative’s kids Christmas gifts, then one year at Easter she called and said she knew I had sent them something for Cmas but they got so many presents she couldn’t remember what. She of course never sent my kids anything.
So just stop.

I stopped buying for my sister's kids after we hosted them all for Xmas day and gave all their children presents. Not one of the kids or parents said thank you - for the hosting or the gifts - on their way out. One of the kids left their voucher down the side of the sofa and I stupidly went to the trouble of posting it to their home and still not a peep from anyone!

Gave up.

I’m well out of it.

All sounds a bit awful tbh

Yes @Offstroll . Note the irony which is why her mother smiled knowingly.

During a meal my niece complained about receiving no thanks. I heartily agreed with her that it’s bad mannered and rude. Her mother smiled knowingly but said nothing. Only she understood my pointed message.

so the niece complained about not receiving thanks and the same niece didn’t used to thank you or her mother?

Well I stopped buying gifts through gritted teeth aeons ago. The niece remains confused and resentful. Do I care? Not a smidge.

Really annoys me too. I send Christmas and birthday gifts to children in the family each year, and with certain of them I never get a thank you or acknowledgement from either the children or their parents. I try to be forgiving because I know they have a hectic family life and probably lots of gifts to keep track of, but it does feel slightly sad to be sending gifts into seemingly a black hole every year.

I agree with PPs that all I would expect is a text message, and I know most of the kids have phones and we're on family What's App groups together so they have my number...

Generally yes it's bad form not to thank but here's a thought: the gifts are for the kids. If the kids haven't been taught how to thank formally, they won't even know they are supposed to. So if you stop giving are you punishing the kids for their parents shortcomings?

Thanking someone for a present is basic manners! It's not like you need to write a lengthy letter, a text message would be very nice and quick. My aunt actually calls me to say thank you for a Clipify video card I send her, even though a simple "Thanks" on Whatsapp would be enough!
I'd just stopped with the gifts altogether OP. Those that can't bother to express their gratitude aren't worth the effort. Building a relationship is always a two ways process and if the other party doesn't reciprocate, why would you want to carry it all yourself?

Different scenario but last year I gifted money for two 50th birthdays and a wedding and have not received a single word of thanks. None were handed over personally because boxes were left out but they all had cards and a nice message with them. Still makes my blood boil!

Pissed off adult relatives
Who carry on buying gifts through gritted teeth
Sounds a joyous family.

Rather than just stop completely, start by reducing the value of the next round of gifts and then fade it out..

Her mother hadn’t been thanked either.

Whilst I think it’s basic manners…written, text, WhatsApp etc, in whatever form it comes… (I always made my now adult kids write thank you letters, just as I had to)… I do think you need to question if any of it is worth the time, effort and money? I have adult children, small grandchildren and tbh I cut out a lot of extended family members because in all honestly, I’d rather spend the money on them rather than kids I don’t see. Sure I did stop a few extended cousins etc because I never got a thank you, but I’m not going to beg people for a thank you, imo it doesn’t take much to send a quick text. I didn’t actually tell them, I just stopped and we never saw them anyway.

in your brothers case I would tell them, as they send gifts for your lot. I’d probably drop a quick text or WhatsApp to them , just saying something along the lines of” hey, hope you had a great Christmas and new year 🫶….just looking towards next year, we thought we’d just let you know that weve decided we won’t be doing extended family gifts going forward,,,,, our families are all getting bigger and older! maybe it’s just better to all keep our money and spend it on ourselves and our families! Hope to catch up soon! “ ( knowing full well you won’t!)

I guess if it’s something you really want to continue, then you’ll have to consider that you’ll never get a thank you …or face the confrontation that will come by bringing it up. Tbh I think if it’s annoying you know, it’s only going to get worse. For me personally I’m not bringing that up with anyone…people know what they’re doing, I’m not wasting my time and energy confronting grown adults. Your SIL could even send a text thanking you but she doesn’t, I had a very vague and distant relative buy my small granddaughter a present this year. My son and DIL haven’t even met then but I sent a thank you on their behalf, it really doesn’t take much. There is the argument that it’s not my or your SILs responsibility but it’s better than absolute silence.

Her mother smiled knowingly but said nothing.

what was her mother smiling knowingly about?!