No thank you messages for gifts

This happened to me this year and I wasn’t impressed. Sent gift cards that totalled over £100 and didn’t get a thanks except their mum saying “the kids say thanks”.

”The kids” are all adults so wouldn’t have been too much to send a happy Christmas and thank you text.

I won’t be sending next year but won’t be saying why as don’t want the aggro. Instead I’m just going to say money is tight and let’s not do gifts. 🤷‍♀️

Same think I will do card only, her bday is next month.

I have 8 step grandchildren that I have bought & made for on all of their birthdays and Christmas for the last 14 years. I can count on one hand the amount of thank you's i've received - i don't expect a letter, just a quick text acknowledgement would do!! But nada!!

So, I've decided that's it now - they're all teenagers and are old enough to know better! There will be no gifts anymore and all cards will be shop bought generic ones!

Seems you haven’t learnt ..Oh well

Hmmm. You know what will happen. Same as before, nothing.

I think it’s very important to send acknowledgment or thanks and very rude not to. Doesn’t have to be a formal letter or card these days - my nephews and nieces will either send sweet texts/emails or photos of the kids playing with the gifts or a videoed thank you from the little ones. It’s lovely.

You’re not close to him, you sporadically keep in touch via his wife (not entirely sure what this means, do you only speak to his wife, never actually to your brother?)…I'm assuming you never see them? I just wouldn’t be spending £100 on gifts for the grandkids, especially if they don’t thank you. Just stop sending from now.

I have facetimed my brother weekly/fortnightly since the kids were babies - the children know us very well. And things are a lot easier now that both have their own phones (age 14 & 10).
I have always been forgiving with the kids not acknowledging or saying thank you for their gifts as it's shit parenting for not teaching them to do so.. However, the 14 year old is old enough to know better and she has now picked up on some disgusting awful habits from my brother, saying things like 'you can give me money, you can afford it because you don't have kids'... LOL

I agree with @Flaked that this seems a bit silly. Do you know these kids well and see them regularly? If the real intent is to maintain a relationship with your brother, why not concentrate your efforts on him?

Sounds similar to my very low contact brother. He randomly gave us token Christmas presents this Christmas,first time in 17 years. I know it was to make us feel awkward/make him look good in front of my mum.
Anyway I sent a breezy "Happy Christmas,thank you for our presents".
We e always given a gift just to our 17 year old niece. Left it with my mum,along with some money....no thanks. Nothing 🙄

I think you've misunderstood what people are saying. I wouldn't be stopping because I want a 'thank you', I am stopping doing what I have done for years because it's never acknowledged so perhaps it's not wanted, who knows?!

However, it is polite to say thank you and manners cost nothing and it goes a very long way when effort has been made for gifts. My parents raised us to say thank you so I am surprised at my brother for not teaching his children this.

They should acknowledge and thank you but stopping presents because you want a thank you seems ridiculous to me

Our young relations were brought up to say thank you and their parents ensured they did. But when they were of an age to do it themselves, with no prompting it stopped. Like most of us on this thread, we only expected a text, not three pages written on vellum with a quill pen.

I’m actually at this point now. Oldest niece is now 14. Never had a single thanks for any gifts, so they’re clearly not welcome. I’ll be stopping presents now and will just send a card.

I don’t send gifts for a thank you, however it is good manners to be polite. It’s the lack of manners that bother me! Not even an acknowledgment of some thoughtful gifts is just plain rude.

i Wish people wouldn’t send my child gifts just for a thank you!

I appreciate the thought but honestly she is 1 it takes me ages to find time to write these.

i send gifts but I don’t expect anything back!

I am debating stopping buying for my 2x nieces (14yo & 10yo brother kids). For the last 4 years I’ve bought them a silver 1oz Britannia each for birthday & Xmas. Even bought them each a nice display box to store them (£35 each).

Last year I got zero thanks on both birthdays and Christmas. The Christmas occasion made my blood boil because I had arranged to go to my brothers on 30th dec, drove an hour to his only for him to call when I was 5 mins away to say the family had gone out. Anyway, I posted the gifts (coins in a card) through the door and have heard nothing since. I’m actually frustrated at this writing about it and need to get over it. The coins were £85 each (not cheap) and I bought 4x of them!
i said to my husband I am not doing it again, when I first started buying the coins silver was approx £25 per oz, now it’s like £80 so sod this without even getting a thanks. It’s bad manners.
before anyone says a 1oz silver coin is a boring present - sod off, I’m sick of buying toot that ends up at the tip!

We stopped when we weren't being thanked. If they couldn't be arsed to even send a text we didn't see why we should bother.

Maybe contact/text and ask did they receive the gifts/vouchers - as if you are checking Royal Mail or whoever have delivered?
My brother and wife bloody rude about not acknowledging gifts. Last time, I phoned and asked did niece receive parcel
of new baby clothes. He shouted ‘DAUGHTER! Did you get that parcel from
Bleachedjeans?’ I heard her shout ‘Yeah! I
did!’
That was the last time I sent any of them anything. Rude, ignorant twats.

I’ve had nieces who do this to me and I purposely text them ‘did you get your gift?’ And then they reply thank you. I’ve also reduced the amount I spend on them every year as I find them so rude.

I doubt they'll be guilted out of not thanking you for any future gifts, OP.
I can just see it: you're advised on here to 'ask the family if ' the kids' received their gifts'??
While on the 'other end' the family is saying, "if you don't say you've been too busy, you won't get the gift vouchers you were ( likely) too busy spending over the past few weeks, so you'd better tell aunty that " you had always meant to say "thank you" ".

I would give them a birthday/Christmas gift once more before deciding you've had enough of not even getting a texted thank you; no need to reward rudeness.

Manners cost nothing a simple thankyou appreciating being thought of .
I would stop op you could just say we are stopping gift buying now as it's getting expensive.leave it at that .

I’d definitely stop, they’re very rude, and ungrateful. Could even say you’re now making a charity donation instead of gifts .

Is there going to be a future? Will you continue to send gifts?