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AIBU?

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Original poster

I’ve never had a smear test and I don’t want one either

958 replies

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:18

Controversial I guess, I’m 36.
I don’t think it’s necessary, as I’ve read about my risk factors and I don’t meet the criteria. All the men I’ve slept with (without protection) were virgins and yes I know they were for sure.
I also have no family history of any cancer.
My partner has prostate cancer in both sides of his family, his dad has it currently and he’s not even been offered a screening test for this.
I find this so frustrating and contradictory when women and men are treated so differently and if you refuse smear or breast screening you’re seen as an awful person, and those who do are morally superior.
Men aren’t coerced into invasive internal examinations.
I have an aversion to having things inserted in me internally and feel I have a right to that decision regarding my body.
There are home tests for HPV available, which I have done myself in the past - all clear.
My question is why do they persist with this archaic procedure when there are other options available?

I keep getting phone calls from my GP surgery trying to persuade me to book a test. I don’t understand why they’re always pushing it, but just totally dismiss other medical issues, which has been my experience several times.
Do they get extra commission for this or something?
There are even pop up ‘clinics’ and drop in sessions going ahead near me.

Of course I know I’ll be bombarded with replies saying I’m selfish, stupid and uneducated. I’ve even read other women saying that those who refuse should be denied any medical care!
But I have done my research and I am more than aware of the implications.

OP posts:
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SleepyHollowed84 · 13/01/2026 18:44

Also count yourself very privileged that a smear test is the only invasive procedure you have had to consider.

You don't get to claim moral superiority or some kind of victory because you haven't had to have a basic invasive medical procedure. Many of us undergo much worse and have to get on with it.

Vaxtable · 13/01/2026 18:43

I had to sign a form saying I didn’t want them, never been bothered since. Ask your doctor what you need to do to stop being asked. I discussed it fully with my doctor who understood my reasons

MiddleChildX · 13/01/2026 18:43

If you’ve done your research you’ll know you can get cervical cancer without HPV. Are you also going to refuse ‘yucky invasive procedures’ if you get cancer?

I cannot understand you bleating on that women are routinely offered screening. All this ‘because we’re not men’? What even is that? Given women have experienced health gender inequality for centuries, it can only be a good thing that the gap is [slowly] decreasing.

Mobysdick · 13/01/2026 18:43

Exactly why don’t you want one? Is it because you are embarrassed, or just because you are low risk? If the former then having a baby will be a shock, even straight forward pregnancies have some prodding and poking. Having just had a full hysterectomy for an ovarian cancer scare (and I was low risk !!) the fanny wands were uncomfortable but welcome. Maybe both you and husband get your checks out of solidarity. But if not then just say no. It’s not mandatory.

Original poster
Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:43

No I think it’s unfair that the alternate less invasive option isn’t made public knowledge

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 13/01/2026 18:43

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:35

Yes if they were just letters I would ignore them but I’m getting regular phone calls directly from my GP surgery trying to coerce me into an appointment.
In contrast, my partner had never received anything like this and as I said in my OP, he is a high risk for prostate cancer.
I’m pretty sure they’ve moved away from the invasive testing for that now too - I don’t understand why they can’t do the same for smears. Oh yes, because we’re not men.

Damn those nasty hcps, trying to save you life !!

soupmaker · 13/01/2026 18:42

You crack on love.

My 29 year old self is very glad she did go for regular smear tests through. As precancerous cells were discovered then and zapped. I had years of annual smear tests after that. 25 years on I’m still so grateful.

SwanRivers · 13/01/2026 18:42

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:39

@TheHumanRepresentative

I find it difficult to reconcile the pressure placed on women to undergo invasive internal examinations when comparable screening is not routinely offered to men. It contributes to my discomfort with how women’s healthcare decisions are often treated.

As a 56 year old woman I have never felt under pressure.

I you do then put it in writing that they're not to contact you anymore regarding this.

But don't turn it into a foot stomping feminist rant, unless you want to embarrass yourself.

Oh and tell your DP to request a prostate check if he wants one 👍

NewJobat50 · 13/01/2026 18:42

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:35

Yes if they were just letters I would ignore them but I’m getting regular phone calls directly from my GP surgery trying to coerce me into an appointment.
In contrast, my partner had never received anything like this and as I said in my OP, he is a high risk for prostate cancer.
I’m pretty sure they’ve moved away from the invasive testing for that now too - I don’t understand why they can’t do the same for smears. Oh yes, because we’re not men.

these are separate issues.

1 You think there are less invasive ways to check (I'm not convinced that's true actually, but I'll take your word for it) - yes, annoying and there are probably all kinds of legitimate and ridiculous reasons these aren't being offered. But it is what it is. Refusing the existing test is just cutting of fyour nose to spite your face.

2 Prostate cancer in men is a real risk and yes, better/more frequent screening should be offered. Again, refusing the existing test because men don't get good prostrate screening is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

3 Massive sex-based difference in care for men and women is absolutely an issue. But, again, cutting off your nose to spite your face if you refuse to have cervical screening because of it.

SleepyHollowed84 · 13/01/2026 18:42

Just don't get one. It's your health. Your body.

I get one because I want to know if there are issues. You don't have to.

CheeseWisely · 13/01/2026 18:42

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:39

@TheHumanRepresentative

I find it difficult to reconcile the pressure placed on women to undergo invasive internal examinations when comparable screening is not routinely offered to men. It contributes to my discomfort with how women’s healthcare decisions are often treated.

Or you could look at it as one of very few areas where Women’s health IS taken more seriously than Men’s health and be thankful for small wins?

But anyway, you do you.

66babe · 13/01/2026 18:42

As you’ve mentioned prostate cancer … they don’t have a national male screening programme for prostate as the blood test is notoriously in accurate
Any male can ask for a digital prostate examination if he’s concerned and dependent on any current symptoms and his ethnicity he’ll be listened to
As for your smear .. it’s perfectly reasonable for you to politely decline and let’s hope you never regret that decision

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 13/01/2026 18:42

Check out the My Body Back Clinic

Sarah2891 · 13/01/2026 18:42

SauvignonBlancLady · 13/01/2026 18:40

Ok I mean I’d rather not die from a curable disease but you knock yourself out

She said she does home tests for HPV and she's clear. Thats all the smear tests test for these days.

TheHumanRepresentative · 13/01/2026 18:42

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:39

@TheHumanRepresentative

I find it difficult to reconcile the pressure placed on women to undergo invasive internal examinations when comparable screening is not routinely offered to men. It contributes to my discomfort with how women’s healthcare decisions are often treated.

Well, there's isn't a comparable screening because men don't have cervixes. You would be better off campaigning for more prostate cancer screenings, if you really feel that it's so unfair.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 13/01/2026 18:41

I really wouldn't be risking my life because it's not fair that men don't have access to a routine, simple test that can provide useful information about their prostate cancer risk and instead have to wait until they have symptoms.

But that's me. I'm not fond of martyrdom.

Catza · 13/01/2026 18:41

Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:39

@TheHumanRepresentative

I find it difficult to reconcile the pressure placed on women to undergo invasive internal examinations when comparable screening is not routinely offered to men. It contributes to my discomfort with how women’s healthcare decisions are often treated.

But you seem to imply that your partner has a great deal here of not being offered a test...despite being high risk.
I would argue he is disadvantaged but what do I know...

Original poster
Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:41

Has nobody read the original post?! There are other less invasive options available including at home HPV testing kits, why aren’t these being used or even making women aware of their availability?!

OP posts:
BobbieTables · 13/01/2026 18:41

They only test for HPV now anyway.

SpigTheFish · 13/01/2026 18:41

Yes, they get paid for hitting targets, just like any other business. You can tell which treatments/tests they get commission/bonuses for by how eager they are to book you in, write to you and phone you, or - pester you on the app, now that we have it.

ACatNamedRobin · 13/01/2026 18:40

Fully agree with you OP, same here - haven't had one and not intending to either.

SauvignonBlancLady · 13/01/2026 18:40

Ok I mean I’d rather not die from a curable disease but you knock yourself out

Sarah2891 · 13/01/2026 18:39

Ask your doctor to put you on the opt out list and they shouldn't contact you again about it.

Original poster
Seventeenstars · 13/01/2026 18:39

@TheHumanRepresentative

I find it difficult to reconcile the pressure placed on women to undergo invasive internal examinations when comparable screening is not routinely offered to men. It contributes to my discomfort with how women’s healthcare decisions are often treated.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 13/01/2026 18:38

You've made your decision. It is your life to risk. What do you expect people to say?

It took my sd 19 months to die from CC having been diagnosed at 21. During that time she had chemotherapy, lost her hair, had her cervix removed, lost a kidney, had a hysterectomy, acquired a stoma.

I wouldn't base my safety on the honesty of a man, no matter how much I trusted them. And I wouldn't wish her suffering on anyone else. I don't like smear tests either. No-one does, but I accept 3 mins of discomfort to help me ensure I am here to see my dc to adulthood as is my responsibility. That is my choice.